November 30, 2011

525,600 MINUTES IN A YEAR!!!

DON'T LET SOMEONE YOU SEE FOR A FEW MINUTES OUT OF EACH YEAR RUIN THE ENTIRE THING!!!

The last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult for me! Since my family no longer associates with too many people, the holidays can become very depressing. Not only were the holidays bringing me down, but people's words from nearly a year ago were weighing very heavily on my mind. Then as I was speaking to my husband this morning, he said something that really clicked with me. He told me that I need to let go of certain people, and I need to not care about these people's opinions of me. When I asked him how I do that, he said the following, "I calculate the number of minutes that are in the year, and I divide it by the number of minutes I see these people in a year's time. If I only see these people for a few minutes out of each year, then their opinion truly does not matter. I see you every single day, so the only opinion that matters to me is yours."

This statement by my husband made me wonder how many minutes are in a year, so I googled it, and I found out that there are 525,600 minutes in a year. However, I was allowing people, who I saw possibly a total of 120 minutes this year, to ruin my happy life that I have built. There is one person who has been wrecking havoc on my thoughts, and I have not seen her any minutes this year. I was allowing the negative emails she sent me to ruin my happy days. 

Everyone is given the same amount of minutes every year! Are you allowing someone you only see for a few minutes each year to cause chaos in your life? I know I have been, and I have to admit that it is a total waste of my time. I am allowing that person to steal happiness from me now, and do you know what is funny....that person has no idea that he or she is making me unhappy. They said their harsh words, and they have moved on and they are enjoying their life. Now, the next time you allow someone else's opinion start to bring you down, ask yourself how many minutes out of the year you see this person. I bet that you are allowing someone you see for a brief period of time make you unhappy. Don't do that! I know my husband's statement made me reanalyze how I look at these people, and he is right. Their opinions do not matter! The only opinions that matter are the ones from people I spend a vast amount of time with each year!

November 29, 2011

BEING HURT IS A PERSONAL DECISION WE MAKE...

LEARN TO LET INSULTS, PAIN, AND REJECTION ROLL OFF YOUR BACK!!!

This above statement about forgiving yourself for allowing others to hurt you could have came in handy for me in the past few years. It seems like more people attacked me when my husband was sick than any other time in history. Maybe they attacked me because it was a point in time when I was vulnerable and weak, so they knew that they could get away with it. However, the one mistake I made is I allowed them to hurt me. I allowed the pain into my heart, and I allowed it to fester for quite some time. Instead of letting their insults, attacks, and belittlement roll off my back, I internalized their comments. It was my personal decision to allow myself to become hurt. Learn to let such nonsense roll off your back and move on with your life as if nothing even happened.

Let's face it, harsh words sting! That old saying in grade school was a bunch of fooey! You know the one I am talking about: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me. That is horse manure! Words hurt like heck if you listen to them! I should know, because I have been listening to the same words over and over again in my head, and my attacker hit me with those words nearly year ago. Those hurtful words still cut me if I think about them too much.

What I have learned is that you choose what you allow to hurt you in life. Once we realize that not everyone is going to like us, and not everyone is going to agree with us, then we can take people's comments with a grain of salt. Meaning we can let their comments go in one ear and out the other. Don't let every little comment that people say to you affect you a month, six months, or even a year down the road. Learn to let hurtful words, insults, and accusations roll off your back and move on!!!

November 28, 2011

YOU ARE SOMEONE'S ANGEL!!!

How are you feeling about yourself right now? Are you down because certain people forgot you over the Thanksgiving holiday? Do you dread the Christmas holiday, because you don't have anyone to celebrate with? Well, maybe you should think about becoming someone's angel! There are a multitude of people out in the world today who need someone to be there for them right now. And I bet you that there is someone out there right now who considers you their angel already!

There comes a time in our lives when we need to stop thinking about ourselves so much, and we need to start focusing on others. For instance, maybe your next door neighbor needs help raking their leaves, because they are not feeling well enough to do it themselves. Maybe someone you know is battling cancer right now, and they sure could use someone to cook them a meal once a week. Maybe a friend of yours is out of work, and their family won't be able to have a nice holiday season. Maybe you could send them a gift card to help out with their expenses. Maybe you could help a child who wouldn't have a Christmas without your help. The Salvation Army has their Angel Trees up right now, so why not go buy a gift for one of those children on an Angel Tree. 

Look at how you have already been an angel in someone's life. Maybe you were the shoulder to cry on for a friend. Maybe you gave one of your friends a birthday present during a very trying time in his or her life, and that helped to lift their spirits. You are angel by just being you, and the more you give to others without expecting anything in return makes your wings grow even wider. You are someone's angel!!! 

November 27, 2011

PEACE MUST START ON THE INSIDE OF YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SPREAD IT TO THE WORLD!!!

Lately I have been off my game! I just have not been feeling like myself. I have been down in the dumps, mopey, and depressed. I have been blaming it on the holidays and our lack of family interaction, but seriously, it is my own fault why I am feeling this way! I keep telling people that happiness is an inside job, and I keep telling them that it is up to us the type of life we want to have, so I truly have no one to blame other than myself for feeling this way. Plus, I have talked in the past about not letting our feelings take over our lives. Peace has to start inside of us before we are able to spread it to other people in the world!

There are days when anger and hate just wells up inside me. Just because I write an inspirational blog doesn't mean that I do not have issues with these things. I struggle just like everyone else in the world. My anger stems from people's uncaring behavior. I look at how many of my family members have never seen my husband since way before he was diagnosed with cancer. That infuriates me! Then it makes me angrier when they expect me to visit them and call them when they do not do the same for me. This anger has turned into loneliness because I have no family members other than my mother and a cousin to associate with any longer. 

However, once you face the demons in your life (which anger and hate are demons) then you can learn to break free from these vices. Each day it is getting a little easier to let go of the people who have hurt me and my family, and it is getting a little easier to forgive them and move on. I have been looking at the people who are my true friends in my life, and even though there may be only a few, I know that they are there for me when and if I need them. 

This morning I woke up with an overwhelming feeling of love and peace in my heart!!! I was suddenly given the title of today's blog which is "Peace must start on the inside of you before you can spread it to the world!" In the past several days, I have been struggling to keep up with my blog and my inspirational page. However, once you accept peace within yourself, then the positive thoughts and energy will be able to pour out of you to others without any problems! Today I am sharing Peace, Blessings, and Love to all of you who take the time to read my blog! I love you all!

November 26, 2011

WORDS!!!

THEY CAN HURT OR HEAL...BE CAREFUL WHICH ONES YOU LISTEN TO!!!

When people make comments to you, which comments do you listen to and digest more; the negative comments or the positive comments? In my own personal experiences, I have ALWAYS wallowed in the negative comments. For some reason, it is easier to remember the negative comments people make to us over the years than it is to remember the positive comments. For instance, several years ago, a family member made some very rude comments to me. I will tell you exactly what she said to me. Please be forewarned that there will be cursing involved. She said and I quote, "You are a big pile of shit, and everybody in my family hates you!" 

Now even though this comment was made several years ago, it is a comment that I have NEVER forgotten. Then last year another family member made another comment to me that I have not forgotten, and his comment was and I quote, "You are the problem in the family! You are the one who is keeping your husband away from his family!" Again, another negative comment that I have NEVER been able to let go. Why do you think it is easier to remember the negative comments than the positive comments we receive in life? I think it's because these comments hurt our feelings, and we do not want others to think of us as less than perfect. 

The truth of the matter is that it does not matter what people think of us! The only thing that matters is what God thinks of us! God views our heart! Whereas, humans view our outward appearance. Sometimes, people don't even want to take the time in order to get to know us properly. They view us through other people's perception of us. 

In the last few years, I have received numerous compliments on a fine job I did with helping my husband through his cancer treatments and surgery process. However, it is easy to forget that others think we have done and continue to do a GREAT job! For some reason, we still focus on one or two people who view us as less of a person. Don't let one or two people's assumptions ruin the good life that you have built for yourself. When someone throws mean spirited words your way, let them know that their negativity no longer has any control over you. Some people are just miserable in nature, and they want everyone around them to be miserable, and especially people who rank low on their totem pole of friends. Learn to ignore these people's words, and remember the positive remarks you have received in your life! It is truly your decision which words you listen to!!! The ones that build you up or the ones that rip you down???

November 25, 2011

INFERIORITY IS A SELF-MADE COMPLEX!

DON'T GET STUCK IN THE TRAP!!!

The holidays are extremely difficult for me since no one from my husband's side of the family or my side of the family associates with us. It is pretty safe to say that over the years I have developed an inferiority complex. What exactly is an inferiority complex? It is when you feel that you are less of a person because of a few people's dislike of you. You might feel that you do not measure up to others, so you are constantly comparing yourself to others. I know for a fact that inferiority is a self-made complex, so do not fall into the trap like I have done. 

An inferiority complex can be helped along by people in our lives, such as parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, or coaches who may tell us that we just aren't good enough. In my own life, my mother was the culprit of my feelings of inferiority. All my life, I heard her say how I wasn't good enough for different things, such as not good enough to be certain people's friends because our family was poor. Then as the years went by, my feelings of inferiority increased when certain people in my husband's family refused to accept me as part of the family. Till this day, several of my husband's family members have me blocked on my personal Facebook profile, because they do not like me. Not only do they not like me, but they blame me for keeping my husband away from the rest of his family. Today my 15 year old son had to set me straight. He told me that these people are adults, and if they stay away from our family, it is because of their personal choice. They only use me as an excuse. My son is very wise!

Inferiority is a self-made complex, and it is up to you to bow down to these feelings or to stand up to these feelings. I suggest the later, because you are good enough! Stop repeating those same lines to yourself which you have heard all your life. Instead change the dialog that you speak to yourself. Start reaffirming yourself by making statements, such as "I am good enough" "I am a good person" "I deserve happiness" "People love me" Just because a few people including some family members may not like you does not mean that the entire world does not like you. Sit down and think for a moment, and I will bet you will be able to think of at least one person in this life who loves you! I know I have two very special people in my own life and they are my husband and son! There is no need for me to ever feel inferior around either one of them! Get over your feelings of inferiority!

November 24, 2011

GIVE THANKS!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I know I have blogged about giving thanks in the past, but what better day than Thanksgiving Day to spread the word again! We have so much to be thankful for in life! Just the fact that you are reading this blog, means that you should be thankful that you have a computer in order to read it. Sometimes, life gets busy, hectic, and monotonous that we forget to be thankful. Give thanks every day!!!

On this Thanksgiving Day as you are celebrating with family and/or friends, tell each other what you have that you are thankful for. I know in my own life, I have numerous things that I am thankful for, and the two most important are not things, but they are my husband and son! Without my husband and son, I would not be the person I am today. I have grown into a better person because of them. I love them both dearly, and I am thankful that I have the two of them in my life! I am also thankful to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with my husband once again! I am thankful that his cancer is in remission, and I pray that nasty disease NEVER comes back! I am thankful for food to eat, a roof over my head, and clothes on my back! I am thankful that God spared my life a few months ago in that car accident, and that I get to spend the holidays with my husband and son!

On this blessed Thanksgiving Day, stop for a moment, and think about what you have to be thankful for! I know that you will be able to come up with more than just one thing. We are very blessed people, and I am blessed that you took time out of your day to read my blog. Give thanks every day!!! We have so many blessings to be thankful for!!!

November 23, 2011

TALK TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY HURT YOUR FEELINGS!!!

With Thanksgiving a day away, you would think that people in your family would be happy and spreading holiday cheer. However, my mother has a different agenda. Today in the mail I received her shopping list with a check, because I do her grocery shopping. I was confused why she sent this through the mail considering she will be spending Thanksgiving with my family tomorrow. So, I called her, and asked her why she sent it. Her response was what I was expecting, "I don't know if I am going to go along to Thanksgiving dinner. I don't feel good." Our conversation became heated which resulted in her screaming at me over the phone, "Maybe I should just go live in a nursing home!" Now, if you have been reading my blog, you know that my family has had enough to deal with in the last two years, and the last thing I need to deal with before a major holiday is drama from a family members including my mother. 

Later on that evening, I told my mother that she hurts my feelings when she makes comments like that to me, and when she puts me on guilt trips. If she is miserable with her own life, that is her own fault, but I am not allowing other people to hurt my feelings any longer. I am at a point in my life where I can no longer deal with negativity, and that includes from family members. Life is too precious and such a gift to be brought down to a negative naysayers level. 

There will always be people in our lives who will be miserable no matter how much we tell them that life is wonderful. When they throw negative comments your way, explain to them how those negative comments hurt you feelings and tell them that you will no longer stand for negativity in your life. They may not like it, because negativity is probably all they have known their entire lives, but it does not mean that you have to put up with it any longer! Tell people when they hurt your feelings and let them know that you no longer allow such negative comments into your life!

November 22, 2011

WELCOME EPIPHANIES!!!

Would you be able to recognize when you were having an epiphany? Do you even know what it means to have an epiphany? An epiphany is a sudden realization of truth. Epiphanies can happen at any moment in time, but usually happens when we are ready to accept a truth in our lives. When this happens, welcome the epiphany with open arms!

Today while at work, I had an epiphany about something that I have been struggling with for quite a long time. As I was walking down the hallway, I suddenly realized that those children and people in that school needed me. An overwhelming sensation came over me that I no longer needed to hold on to friendships which were not working out, and I no longer had to keep trying to be accepted by family members who do not want to have anything to do with me. I suddenly realized that I matter to other people, and those people care a whole lot about me. 

An epiphany will usually answer a question in which we may have been struggling with. You can do one of two things when you have an epiphany. You can accept it, or you can ignore it. An epiphany is truth in which you have been searching for. Welcome that epiphany and let it help you grow!

November 21, 2011

YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!!

Do you feel appreciated? Do you go to your job day in and day out and feel like what you do does not matter? There may be times when we feel like we do not make a difference. However, let me tell you that you DO make a difference, and you are more appreciated than what you may even realize. There is always someone in the world who appreciates each and every one of us. 

Today I went back to a subbing job that I worked at last week. The reception I received back at this job was more than I expected. When I walked into the office, the secretary asked me if I was in for the rest of the week. When I told her yes, she replied, "Thank God! I am so glad you are back!" This type of remark always puts a smile on my face. I told the secretary that it always makes me happy when I know that I am appreciated. 

When you think that no one appreciates what you do, take a few minutes to redirect your thoughts. I can guarantee you that there are people who appreciate what you do. You are appreciated, my friend! I appreciate you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read my blog. 

November 20, 2011

DON'T STOP BEING YOU REGARDLESS OF WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK!!!

In the last several years, I have had many people tell me that I need to change. However, the people who have told me this or told others this do not even know me on a personal level. Now, having so many people come against me made me wonder if there was something truly wrong with me. I started to focus on my faults instead of recognizing how God truly made me. I am a giving, loving, generous, and caring person, and I am not about to stop being me regardless of how others think.

When people come against us, it is usually because they have a preconceived idea of how they think you are whether or not it is based on the truth. It is up to us what we believe. We can believe people's opinions, or we can believe what God tells us. God made us the way we are for a reason, and if we do have faults which we all do then it is up to us to change what we may not like about ourselves. However, we usually tend to be our own worst enemy. 

Today I had to realize who I truly am. Years ago I loved giving to my family members during birthday parties, Christmas time, and weddings. I loved buying my family members gifts and watching their faces as they opened their presents. Once the family started to become distant, I no longer had anyone to buy gifts for other than my son and husband. However, today made me realize that I can still bring happiness into people's lives by buying them gifts; however, I will have to buy the gifts for people I do not know. I won't be able to see them open their gifts, but I can still do what God made me to do and that is spread joy and happiness to others. I do not need to stop being me just because of what a few people may think!

November 19, 2011

CHEER UP SOMEONE WHO MAY BE FEELING DOWN!!!

Can you tell when someone who is close to you is feeling down? Can you sense that they are not feeling themselves? My intuition is usually really awesome, so I can usually tell when someone I love is having a rough day. Get in tune with those around you, and learn how to pick up on another person's feelings. You will soon be able to spot when your loved ones need someone to cheer them up!

On Saturday evenings, my son attends Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments. If you do not know what Yu-Gi-Oh is, it is a card game. Well, this evening when my husband and I picked up our son I could tell that my son was in a sad mood. He wouldn't speak to us on our drive home which is very abnormal, because he is usually excited after his tournaments. When we got home, I sat down on the couch next to my son and asked him what was bothering him. He was feeling bad, because he had only won one match tonight. So, in order to cheer up my son, I sat on the couch with him while watching some of his favorite cartoon shows. 

If you learn to slow down and to focus on what is going on around you, you will soon learn how to realize when someone who is close to you needs someone there for them to cheer them up. You can usually hear it in their tone of voice, because they won't be chatting in a joyful tone. You can even learn to see it in his or her writing if you chat online a lot. Most of the time if people answer you with short answers, they might be having a down day. Learn to recognize when your friends and loved ones need you and cheer them up!!!

November 18, 2011

LOOK TO THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE FOR A MUCH NEEDED PICK ME UP!!!

If you are anything like me, the holiday season can bring you down if you do not focus on the things that really matter in life. My extended family used to be a lot closer in the past, but for the last several years, everyone seems to be too busy to associate any longer. If you dwell on the negative too long, you can seep into a dark hole of depression. So, it is extremely important to focus on what matters, and most of the time it is the simple things in life that usually put a smile on our faces.

What are the simple things? For me, they include: my son's and husband's laughter, the warm sun on a brisk day, the leaves blowing across the ground, my cat lying beside me as I am typing my blog, my family being together and watching a movie, a nice cup of coffee. These are just a few of the simple things in life that I enjoy. 

If you refocus your thoughts on the simple things in life, you will find that your spirits are getting picked up. I know that I have to constantly redirect my thoughts, and I have to intentionally think about the simple things which matter in my life. Focus on what truly matters, and most of the time it will be the simple things!