July 28, 2016

LET GO OF WHAT WAS!

EMBRACE WHAT IS!

Are you holding on to past hurts? Are you living in the past? Are you still suffering from hurts from 20 years ago? These are all questions that came to my mind after reading my last post! There comes a time in our lives when we have to let go of what was and embrace what is!

Embrace the blessings that you have today! Look around you right now and count your blessings! I am sure there are many! Take one day at a time! Learn to smile! Love those close to you! Life is short! Don't spend you time thinking about yesterday! Finally let go of what was! Embrace what is!

ONE LIE CAN DESTROY A REPUTATION!

Has anyone ever lied on you? Has anyone ever taken your words and used them out of context against you? One little white lie can ruin an innocent person's reputation for the rest of his or her life! These innocent people then go through their lives trying to prove their worth to the people who lied against them. The next time you think it is okay to use another person's words against them, or you decide to rearrange another person's words to meet your own needs, think twice! That lie you are about to tell may ruin another person's reputation forever!

This happened to me about 20 years ago! Someone decided to take my words out of context and tell other people things that never came out of my mouth. It didn't matter what I said to defend myself. Everyone who was told the lie believed the person spreading the lie. Friendships and relationships were lost forever because of misconstrued information. 

I spent many years of my life trying to prove that I am a good person to these people. All I ended up doing was making things worse and making myself look like an idiot, because nothing I would say would make anything better. What hurt me the most from the entire situation is someone I cared about very much went to their grave hating me because of this lie. 

What have I learned from this circumstance? I have learned to be careful who I speak to and what I say to them. Now, I get blamed for being "stuck up" when I am around certain people, because I refuse to speak or if I do speak it is very minimal. I've been blamed for saying things that I never said, and I never want to be put into that kind of situation ever again! 

Even though I have been lied about, and this one lie has created a rift between myself and many other individuals, I forgive the person who lied on me. You may ask..."Why do you forgive them?" I forgive them, because I have to forgive them in order to move on with my life. Everything bad that has happened to me is a life lesson! Valuable life lessons can even come from a lie that is used against you. Don't allow the negative that happens in your life to turn you into a bitter human being! Learn from it and grow from it! Never allow the negative to define who you are! I am a good person with a good heart, and if there are people from my past who want to believe otherwise then it's their loss not mine! I release the hurt and move on! 

Drama can only exist in your life if you allow it in!

Do you ever wonder why you get roped into everyday drama with family and friends? I wondered that about my own life for years! I was always getting blamed for things I did not do or say. One day, I was talking to my husband and telling him that I couldn't understand why I was constantly getting blamed for things. His answer was, "Because you are allowing it to happen!" I was allowing the drama in my life. The light bulb went off in my head! I didn't need to allow the drama in! I could walk away! That is exactly what I did! I walked away, and the drama ceased to exist! Drama can only exist in your life if you allow it in!

LEARN TO ACCEPT THE APOLOGY THAT YOU WILL NEVER GET!!!

There always seems to be that one person in our lives who continuously hurts our feelings. They will say and do things that truly hurt our feelings. However, in their minds, they have done no wrong. Recently, a family member hurt my family's feelings. When I called out the family member and told her that she hurt us, her response was, "Oh well, it's in the past." No apology was given, and she will never give us an apology. 

I invited this family member to my family's home for Christmas dinner. She has come to every Christmas dinner at our home for the past seventeen years since my Dad passed away. Well, this year, the family member never even returned my phone call. Christmas came and Christmas went, and she never even called my son to wish him a Merry Christmas while he was home for Winter break from college. So, my little family of three celebrated Christmas alone this year. 

This family member depends on my family for everything, and when she hurts our feelings, she thinks nothing of it. She feels that my family should continue to do for her like we have always done regardless of how she may hurt us. She will never apologize, and she just keeps moving forward like nothing happened. I will never receive an apology for her ignoring my family on Christmas. I have to accept an apology that I will never get! 

June 11, 2015

IGNORE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!

Do your thoughts get you into trouble? Do you think yourself into a worried panic? In the past, my thoughts made me become my own worst enemy. I was constantly thinking negative falsehoods about myself. It's taken me 42 plus years to learn how to ignore those negative thoughts. I have to admit that it has only been in the last six months that I have become successful at ignoring such thoughts.

You might be wondering, "How do I ignore negative thoughts? I have been thinking them all my life." Well, just as you learned to think negatively about yourself, you will have to relearn how to think positively about yourself. Replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Just as recently as today, I had to ignore a negative thought that was trying to creep back into my brain. That thought was, "You are a loser." When this first happens, my first instinct is to agree with the thought; however, that is feeding the beast. I had to ignore the thought and concentrate my mind on something else. That something else turned out to be doing some laundry. I was concentrating on the "Now," and what I was doing at that very second. Soon that negative thought was lost as it should be!

When you have a negative thought, do not agree with it! Do not say it out loud! Do not write it down, such as on facebook! Just simply think about something else! Ignore that negative thought and focus your mind on the NOW! Think only happy thoughts! 

Blessings Surround You!

BLESSINGS SURROUND YOU!

Sometimes, it can be very difficult to remember how blessed we really are in life. If we are reading this blog, then we truly have been blessed in many ways! Not everyone on this beautiful planet is fortunate enough to have an internet connection, so we are truly blessed beings! If you have a roof over your head, food in your refrigerator, a job, a family, a friend, water in order to take a shower, then you are truly blessed! In the normal rush of every day life, it is so easy to forget how blessed we are in our lives! How blessed are you?

HAVE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE!

Doesn't life nearly get unbearable when we do not show gratitude for everything that we have been blessed with? Gratitude helps to bring more of what we want into our lives. When we are grateful for the little things in our lives, God will give us more to be grateful for! Today, I am grateful for having a beautiful, warm Spring day! I am also grateful for being able to sit outside on my deck and to be able to drink my coffee while surrounded by nature! What are you grateful for? 

January 2, 2015

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS 

FOR 2015!!!

Since 2011, I have been choosing a word or phrase to help me through each year. In 2011, it was "Positive." In 2012, it was "Love." In 2013, it was "Let It Go." In 2014, it was, "Accept that in which I cannot change." This year I am choosing the phrase, "Random Acts of Kindness." 

We never know what hardships or struggles other people may be facing. A small act of kindness may create a ripple effect that may travel thousands of miles. May my new phrase for 2015 transform me into an even better creature than what I am today! 

March 2, 2014

YOU ARE A UNIQUE, ONE-OF-A-KIND, ORIGINAL MASTERPIECE CREATED BY GOD!

"For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving" Timothy 1: 4:4.

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good..." Genesis 1:31.

All my life I have struggled with self-acceptance. It didn't matter how many self-help books or inspirational books I read, the thought of loving myself was something I could not grasp. Lately, I have been asking myself, "Why can't I accept who I am that God made me to be?" The only answer that keeps coming to my mind are the tales that people kept speaking into my life. Negative tales, such as you're a bastard, you are Satan's spawn, because you were born out of wedlock, your mother should have aborted you instead of giving birth to you, everyone hates you, and the list of negative affirmations could go on and on! 

Now, you are probably wondering, why did you believe this nonsense? Well, when those negative words are spoken to you from a very young age year after year, and others just keep adding to it, it's really hard not to believe those negative words. Unfortunately, you start believing them yourself. 

How long are you going to keep believing these false accusations? Those negative words spoken in hate are a reflection of the person spewing the poison and NOT a reflection of who you are! Once you can wrap your mind around the fact that you are a unique, one-of-a-kind, original, master piece which was created by the Creator (God) himself, maybe, just maybe, you will see that you are NOT all those negative accusations that have been spoken into your life! There never has been and never will be another creation exactly like you! Once God created you, he broke the mold! Everything God makes is one-of-a-kind! God only creates that which is Good, so there is NO way that you are anything less! Love the unique piece of artwork that God made you to be! 

January 2, 2014

NO MORE, NO MORE!

There comes a time in a person's life when they must say, "No more, No more," whether it be to a person or a thing! This phrase has been ringing through my ears for the last few days as the New Year approached. Learn to say, "No more," to that which does not serve you in a positive way! 

What am I going to say, "No more," to? Well, negative people and phrases that they try to curse me with! I have had a family member who has been trying to get me to believe for the past nearly 41 years that hell is on Earth. This person is much older than I, and they should be much wiser; however, they spew poison from their mouth on a daily basis. When I was younger, I believed this person. I believed her lies that life was misery. Do you know what I got? I got misery, anger, pain, and heartache! However, all these venomous words are merely poison which this person uses to try to drag me down to the pits of hell that is their reality. 

WELL! Hear me say, "NO MORE, NO MORE!" If this person chooses to believe that this precious gift of life is hell, then that is their prerogative; however, I do not have to listen, and I do not have to believe their false truths.  

Say, "NO MORE, NO MORE," to the negative naysayers in your life! Look at life as the blessing it truly is! Life is what we make it, and I believe that Heaven can be right here on this beautiful home we call Earth! God Bless you all!

January 1, 2014

HERE'S TO A WONDERFUL YEAR AHEAD!

WELCOME 2014!

How do I know as of January 1 that 2014 is going to be a wonderful year? Because I have already decided that it is going to be a wonderful year! In the past four years, I have learned to be grateful for what the Good Lord has blessed me and my family with! We may not have the best of everything, we may be in a tremendous amount of debt, we may be struggling on a day-to-day basis; however, what we have is something that money cannot buy! We have each other! That gift is priceless, and one I would never want to change!

2013 has taught me many valuable lessons! One lesson I learned is that I need to focus more on those who love me and focus a lot less on those who walked out of my life a long time ago. Those people who left should no longer have any control over me, and if I am giving them control by thinking about them daily, then that needless act needs to stop right now! Those who want to be part of our lives will be there! There is no need to keep chasing friendships/relationships that have long ended! 2013 has taught me to "LET GO!" 

What is 2014 going to teach me? One thing I am going to work on right away is, "Accepting things in which I cannot change!" There are circumstances/people in our lives that will never change. We can keep hitting our heads on that brick wall and keep causing ourselves needless pain; however, that seems like a tremendous waste of time and energy! Not to mention the headaches it will cause!

So, last year's, "Letting Go" lesson has lead me to "Acceptance!" 2014 is going to be an amazing year! I know I will learn and grow, and while I'm at it, I will be grateful and thankful for each day of life that is blessed to me! May you start your 2014 with the same positive attitude! Sending you all Peace, Love, and many Blessings in 2014! ♥ 

December 31, 2013

NEW WORD/PHRASE FOR A NEW YEAR!

It's hard to believe that in a few hours we will be saying good bye to 2013 and hello to 2014! This year has flown right by! For the past three years, I have chosen a word that helps to get me through the year. This all started in 2011 after my husband's bout with cancer. I decided that 2011 would be the most positive year of my life thus far, so in 2011, my word for the year was "Positive!" In 2012, I chose the word, "Love!" This past year, I chose a phrase which was, "Let Go!" So with this new year approaching very rapidly, I have decided to choose a phrase once again! My new phrase for 2014 will be:

"Acceptance of Things in which I Cannot Change!"

Not only will I let this new phrase help me through this new year, I will also continue to learn and grow from the past words and phrases that have helped me in the last three years!

If you choose a word or phrase to help you through 2014, I would love to hear about it! Please feel free to leave a comment! Happy New Year to you all!

December 29, 2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS THAT HAVE BEEN ON MY MIND!

The older I get the one thing that keeps getting me more and more confused is human relationships. When I was younger, a teenager and even in my 20's and early 30's, I was a fairly social creature. My husband and I would have friends and family to our home for birthday parties and dinners, and once in a while, the invitation would be returned and we would go to the family member's home or our friend's home for the same. In the last few years, this sort of action has ceased. In my family's defense, we no longer can afford to have dinners and parties. However, it seems that once we stopped inviting, the invitations to others homes stopped as well. 

Even now, when I invite friends out for coffee or lunch, they tell me that they would like to go; however, once the invitation is given by me, it seems to be forgotten. For instance, nearly a year ago, I invited a friend to meet me for coffee. She was having some issues, and I thought she might need a friend to talk to. I invited her at the end of March. She told me that she would let me now in mid-April of when would be a good time to meet, because she was very busy. Well, it's now the end of December, and I still have not heard back from her about our coffee date, and I do not feel the need to keep begging. This happens all the time with me. I'll invite someone, and I never hear back.

I'm not sure how to take all these rejections. Maybe, it's just time to find new friends. However, I wouldn't even begin to understand how to do that. My husband seems to believe that people only know us when they need or want something. That seems to be true. However, in the new year, I will have to put all these broken friendships behind me, and just focus on the two people who definitely want me in their lives....my husband and son! 

ONCE YOU GIVE UP THE NEED TO BE ACCEPTED, 

YOUR HEART CAN BEGIN TO HEAL!

Isn't that what we all want? We want to be accepted into that special group of friends or into the extended family. When that doesn't happen. What happens to you? You become heart-broken, bitter, insensitive, rebellious, and possibly even revengeful! Is this truly how you want to live the rest of your life? Do you want to feel needless pain every day? I hope your answer is, "NO!" Once you give up the NEED to be accepted by people who are unwilling to accept you, then that is when your heart can truly heal! 

This has always been a struggle of mine....ACCEPTANCE! I never felt like I "fit in" anywhere including in my own family. For years I would be sucked into pointless drama, and of course, I would always be the one who would get blamed for creating the drama even if I was an innocent bystander. One day a light went off in my head, and I asked my husband, "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I keep getting blamed for drama that I don't even start?" My husband's lesson to me that day was, "Because you allow it to happen. You are an easy target, so they (the drama creators) will suck you in and blame you regardless of what you may try to do with good intentions." Hmmmm..........could this be true? Was I allowing the drama into my own life? Of course I was! My need for acceptance, my need to be liked, was creating me pain instead of the happiness that I so wanted to feel. I needed a change. 

What did I do? I stopped! I stopped associating with the people who were constantly sucking me into needless drama and who were constantly blaming me for things in which I had no control over. I stopped NEEDING to be accepted and stopped NEEDING to be liked! If people could not accept me for who I am, then they do not deserve to have me in their life. I had to learn to accept me for who I am.....a loving, caring individual who is so willing to help others, who wants to lift others up from being in the same darkness that I struggled through. Learn to accept yourself then you will no longer NEED to be accepted by people who will never truly accept you for who you are. Find people who want to get to know the real you! Break those chains and be you...be happy without the drama! Once you give up that NEED to be accepted, your heart will mend and heal, and you will find the happiness that you were struggling to find!

BE THE ONE TO BREAK THE CYCLE OF PREJUDICE WITHIN YOUR FAMILY CIRCLE!

Some families hold grudges forever! What you might not realize is that prejudice started a long time ago, and it has been passed down from one generation to the next. It's a never-ending cycle of hate and non-acceptance. If someone doesn't stop this vicious cycle, it will go on for all of eternity. Each family needs at least one member who is willing to step up to the plate and be the once who breaks this cycle of prejudice within your family's walls.

We see this prejudice in so many different ways. Most of the time we see it in the form of a blood relative's spouse. The spouse is rejected and not liked for many different reasons. Some of the reasons I have seen in the past are different religious beliefs, different upbringings, different nationality, different social class, and the list goes on and on. The spouse is then rejected from the family unit which usually indicates the blood relative will also be shunned from family affairs. How sad!

Maybe in the near future, some families will learn to recognize this learned behavior of prejudice that has been passed down from generation to generation. Maybe one day, people will learn to accept each other regardless of their differences. We are all one in God's eyes! We are the same! Be the one in your family who breaks down those walls and be the one who destroys that cycle of prejudice before it's passed down to yet another generation!  

November 24, 2013

Send Me a Quick Comment if You Read My Blog....Please!

Hi Friends! I try to check my stats every day to see how many people are reading my blog. Sometimes I wonder if having a blog is worth it, and then I wonder, "Well, maybe I am helping a few people out there in this big vast world." If you like my blog and if you read my blog, please send me a quick comment by using the comment section below. I would love to hear from you! ♥

November 23, 2013

SOMETIMES IMPORTANT LESSONS TAKE A WHILE TO SINK INTO OUR MINDS!

As you know, I recently faced a health scare. During those six weeks of worrying and stressing, many lessons have been learned. If I would have walked away from such a difficult period, without a few valuable life lessons then the entire process would have been useless. Each trial strengthens us to face tomorrow. 

During my stressful health scare, I reached out to an old friend who recently stopped speaking to me due to myself having a different political perspective than she. My old friend did not want to hear my point of view, so unfortunately, she no longer wanted to be my friend. Well, since I thought I might be facing a life-threatening illness, I reached out to this friend; however, my efforts were pointless. She lashed out at me and told me that I was a manipulator who only wanted people's sympathy. Over the past few weeks since I have received her message, those words keep going through my mind. Am I a manipulator? Do I only want people to feel sorry for me?

Well, I'm not exactly sure about how to answer those questions, but what I have learned is that I truly do need to keep all my personal issues to myself from now on. What was the point of me telling my friends about my tumor? I can answer that. I wanted empathy. I wanted people to care. Looking to the past, it's a constant revolving door that I continually go around. I freak out about something stressful in my life. I try to come up with all types of crazy ways to handle the situation. Then I bombard my friends with MY problems. Problems that are none of their business and which they do not need to know. I truly cannot blame any of them for walking out of my life. If I had to deal with someone like me, I would walk out of my life too. 

So, I have to say that this little health scare was something I definitely needed to go through. I needed to learn that I am capable of dealing with my own issues. Everyone doesn't need to know what I may be facing. Sharing everything that is happening in my life with those on Facebook is a selfish thing to do. It is a thing that I need to stop.  It took a while, but the lesson finally sank into my mind!  

November 21, 2013

LEARN TO PERSEVERE!

In the past six weeks, I have faced more emotions all at once than I did during the entire year that my husband was fighting his battle with cancer. The emotions we feel when a loved one is facing a life-threatening illness is totally different than the emotions we feel when we might be facing a similar situation. When the doctor looked me in the eyes and told me that he felt I had cancer was like I was staring my own mortality in the face, and I had no idea what the outcome was going to be. 

So much has happened in these past six weeks. I quit my second job. Then I beat myself up week after week for quitting that job. I mean, who quits a job without even knowing what they may be facing? Hmmm.....that would be me. Then I started to look at my life and the few people who remain in my life. Then I started to blame myself for all the failed relationships I have faced in my life. I started to question my marriage, and I wondered if I truly was the person who ruined my husband's relationships with his family members. All these emotions were forcing me into a deep pit of darkness and depression. I was starting to feel self-pity, and this was not a place where I wanted to visit again! I already spent enough time in that sea of despair in years gone by.

So, I cried, I became angry, I yelled at the people I love, I became numb, and then those feelings would start all over again. You remember those inspirational sayings that I like to share with others? I didn't want any part of them! The longer I had to wait for my test results, the more those sayings seemed like a bunch of hooey! However, while I was facing all those crazy emotions, my husband never faltered from believing that my tumor was going to come back negative for cancer. And you know what? He was right!

Even though the last six weeks have probably been the most stressful in my entire lifetime, I have learned some valuable life lessons. I learned that God will throw obstacles in our way, such as the possibility of a life-threatening illness, in order to get our attention and to remind us of what is truly important in our lives. While I was working two jobs for the last seven months, I was missing out on precious time with my husband and son. That is precious time that I will never get back. Also, God showed me that those people who we put on pedestals in our lives will be the first ones to let us down. If someone is truly your friend, they will be there with you in your darkest hours. Even if it just means sending you an email or a text message, they will find a way! I have learned that all those past emotions about broken relationships need to be let go and forgotten. I need to cherish the time that I have with the people who love me! 

Learn to persevere through every day of your life regardless of what kind of obstacles are thrown in your path. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and do not look back. And as hard as it may sometimes be, keep a positive attitude that everything will work out for the best. If I had believed my own words six weeks ago, I could have saved myself from six weeks of unneeded stress, worry, pain, and agony.  

November 17, 2013

RECOGNIZE YOUR DEPRESSION AND DON'T LET IT  SWALLOW YOU UP!

It's two days after my surgery, and I have to be totally honest with everyone, depression is overtaking me. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, because let's face it, there are millions of people who face what I am facing every single day. In the past two days, only a few people, who I speak to on Facebook, (because that is the only place in my life where I speak to people in the outside world) even bothered to message me to see how I was doing after my surgery. My own mother never even called to find out how my surgery went. Do you know how that makes a person feel? It makes a person feel very alone. Earlier tonight, I looked at my husband, and I told him the following, "No one, besides you and our son, care about me. My own mother doesn't care about me. I could die tomorrow, and not too many people would even care."

I know that this depression is wrong, and I need to get out of it as soon as possible. But a few people, who call themselves my 'friend,' never even remembered my surgery, or if they did, they didn't even bother to say, 'Hey how are you doing?' I look at what I am facing, and I am accepting the fact that if this turns out to be cancer, I am going to have to deal with it all alone. I look at all the stress that I will create for my husband and son, and they do not deserve that! Especially my husband! After dealing with his own cancer, it's so unfair to him if I am diagnosed with cancer. 

Anyway, that is where I am two days after my surgery. I know what some people will think when reading this. They will think, "Don't worry about what you have no control over," or "Why are you worrying if you don't even know if you have cancer or not." Well, my answer to that is, "If you have never been in a situation where you might be facing a life threatening illness then you have no right to judge others who are!" The one thing I do know and the one thing that I can control is the fact that I know that I am in a depression, and I need to get out of it before it swallows me up! 

November 16, 2013

Cherish the people who love you even if they are few!

It's 4:30 am and I am wide awake. Why you might ask? I had my surgery yesterday. I was in dreamland for most of my hours after I got home from my surgery. So, the tumor is out, and we must wait an additional four days for the results. Gotta love all this waiting...that's a joke.

So, what is going through my mind at 4:30 am after the day of my surgery? Friends and family...that is what is going through my mind. Or perhaps I should say, "Lack of friends and family."

I look back 20 years ago, and how my husband and I were surrounded with friends and family. That continued long after the birth of our son. Every year I would invite everyone in our family and all our friends to our son's birthday parties, and most of them came (except for the ones who lived out of state, but we never expected them to attend). For many years I would host huge Christmas parties and once again invite everyone. Those parties turned out to be a huge success.

Then something happened, and I'm not quite sure what it was, but everyone started to hate me, and they no longer wanted to have anything to do with me and/or my family. I think that once my husband became ill that people finally started to show their true feelings toward me. They didn't like me and they never did! I know that is true with my aunt and uncle, because my uncle told me he doesn't like me. Why? I mean, all the parties, the family get-togethers, all the shared vacations. Now, I'm the bad guy and no one likes me.

As I face this impending diagnosis, I realize that I'm going to have to face this alone. The only two people who will help me through this journey are my husband and son. I look back and I have no idea what I did wrong in all my past relationships. When my husband was sick, all I wanted was for people to care and very few did. I really messed up things with my friends and family, and there is nothing I can do to fix any of it. My husband, son, and I will be spending the holidays alone like we have for the past 4 years, and I will have to face a huge battle with the only two people in this world who love me. At least I have them, and for that, I am very blessed!

Cherish the people who love you even if they are few!