"EXPECT NOTHING FROM ANYONE!"
This year would have gone more smoothly had someone told me this quote earlier throughout my husband's cancer treatment process. Whenever my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I truthfully felt that this was going to be God's way of bringing our families (meaning my husband's family and my family) closer together. I felt that those who stayed away and who did not associate with us would feel compelled to be closer with us throughout my husband's healing processes which included surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation treatments. However, I set my expectations WAY too high, and I was expecting something that was not going to happen.
What made me set my expectations too high? First, it was probably the family bonds I had witnessed growing up whenever a family member would become ill. Everyone would pitch in together and help each other. I remember my mother going to different family members homes whenever they were sick, and she would offer a helping hand. I remember when I was a little girl going with my mom to my aunt's house whenever my aunt was first diagnosed with cancer over 30 years ago. My mom spent the entire day cleaning my aunt's house, because my aunt was too sick to do it herself. My father would be there for family members or neighbors or friends whenever they may have been down on their luck. We were a poor family, but if there was one thing we could offer others, it was love and support and a helping hand.
Maybe my expectations were too high because of things our family members have done to help strangers. My husband's aunt and uncle traveled to North Carolina from Pennsylvania to attend a fundraiser for a lady who had cancer who they did not even know. This lady was a friend of a friend, but they traveled over 500 miles to help someone in need. Maybe my expectations were too high, because of how my husband and I have helped those in need over the years including the aunt and uncle above. Whenever my husband's aunt was diagnosed with cancer, my family was there for the aunt and uncle everyday. Whenever they needed help thoughout their trial, we were there to lend a helping hand.
However, my expectations of our family members were too high on a pedestal, and my feelings were crushed whenever no one was there to lend us a helping hand with the exception of two neighbors. Some of our family members have never visited my husband since he was diagnosed over a year ago. Most of our family members have turned their backs, and they became extremely angry with me whenever I voiced my opinion about them turning away and not being there for us in our time of need.
I apologize for this being such a long post, but it seems that once again life has thrown my family a curve ball in the health department. However, this time, I have no expectations for anyone. This time I will avoid hurt and disappointment by lowering my expectations. Expect nothing from anyone!
Monday, January 31, 2011
January 30, 2011
"TAKE ADVANTAGE OF TOMORROW!"
How many activities do you try to fit into one day? Does there never seem to be enough hours in each of your days? Do you never have enough time to get it all done? That is how many people feel myself included up until a year ago.
I used to stay up till the wee hours of the night trying to get everything accomplished that was on my "to do" list before the start of the next day. About a year or two after my husband and I were married, I stayed up till 4 a.m. one night painting my living room walls. I could not leave it half finished. I needed to have the entire room painted before the start of the next day. Plus, I had to work an eight hour shift which started at 8 a.m.
Now looking back at this scenario, I can truly see how I had my priorities way out of line. What I should have done was put the paint back in the can, and I should have gone to bed with my husband. Did it really matter if the painting had to wait one more evening before it was completed? No, it didn't matter; however, I made it a larger priority than it had to be at the time.
In the last year, I have learned how to take advantage of tomorrow. It does not matter if all the household chores do not get done in one evening or day. There is always tomorrow to get done what you did not have a chance to get done today. Is it going to matter a month from now or a year from now that the vacumming did not get done when you wanted it to be done? Is it going to matter if the dishes had to sit in the sink overnight? NO!!!
What matters is you spend quality time with those you love and who love you! Instead of doing chores while the rest of your family is sitting in the living room or family room enjoying a movies, join your family! Don't stay home to finish the laundry while your family goes on a neighborhood walk! Go with them! Enjoy the time you have today with those you love! Take advantage of tomorrow, because the chores can wait!
How many activities do you try to fit into one day? Does there never seem to be enough hours in each of your days? Do you never have enough time to get it all done? That is how many people feel myself included up until a year ago.
I used to stay up till the wee hours of the night trying to get everything accomplished that was on my "to do" list before the start of the next day. About a year or two after my husband and I were married, I stayed up till 4 a.m. one night painting my living room walls. I could not leave it half finished. I needed to have the entire room painted before the start of the next day. Plus, I had to work an eight hour shift which started at 8 a.m.
Now looking back at this scenario, I can truly see how I had my priorities way out of line. What I should have done was put the paint back in the can, and I should have gone to bed with my husband. Did it really matter if the painting had to wait one more evening before it was completed? No, it didn't matter; however, I made it a larger priority than it had to be at the time.
In the last year, I have learned how to take advantage of tomorrow. It does not matter if all the household chores do not get done in one evening or day. There is always tomorrow to get done what you did not have a chance to get done today. Is it going to matter a month from now or a year from now that the vacumming did not get done when you wanted it to be done? Is it going to matter if the dishes had to sit in the sink overnight? NO!!!
What matters is you spend quality time with those you love and who love you! Instead of doing chores while the rest of your family is sitting in the living room or family room enjoying a movies, join your family! Don't stay home to finish the laundry while your family goes on a neighborhood walk! Go with them! Enjoy the time you have today with those you love! Take advantage of tomorrow, because the chores can wait!
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