January 28, 2013

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS CREATE A RIPPLE EFFECT!

It is easy to sit back and say, "If everyone acted with kindness, wouldn't it be a wonderful world?" Well, I ask you, my friend, do you share kindness with others on a daily basis? Do you hold doors for people when entering or leaving a building? Do you help someone pick up something they may have dropped? Do you help the elderly put their groceries in their car? With each little act of kindness, a ripple in awareness is caused! When people see you share kindness with others, it may cause them to want to share their own kindness with a stranger. Random acts of kindness create a positive ripple effect to the outside world!

Today I challenge you to find different ways to share random acts of kindness. Please share by commenting below how you have shared your kindness today! Please remember, "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted" ~ Aesop! 

January 27, 2013

STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS WHEN AROUND CERTAIN PEOPLE!

THEY WERE OFFENDED EVEN BEFORE YOU OPENED YOUR MOUTH!

Are there people in your life who get extremely offended no matter what you say or do? Do you feel like you  are walking on eggshells every time you are around them? Do you find yourself guarding what you say or do in the presence of certain people's company? If so, the problem may  not be you! The problem may be that those who are easily offended in your life have preconceived ideas that you are going to tick them off even before you are anywhere near them!

There are people like this in my own life. No matter what I do or what I say by the end of our time together the other person is offended. Recently, I offended a family member by asking her one question, "Why?" Just me questioning her as to why she had to get certain things done in one night, because there is always tomorrow, made her extremely angry with me. In my mind, I wasn't criticizing her. I was just trying to help her understand that we don't need to rush to get everything accomplished in one day. If we are too exhausted today, why not wait till tomorrow after a good nights rest. However, I suppose she took it as me judging her and trying to tell her how to live her own life; which is not what I was trying to do. Personally, I believe that this particular family member will get offended every time I speak to her, because she is already offended even before I open my mouth.

If you have people like this in your own life, don't take their responses to you personally. The problem does not lie with you! The problem is their own! If you have tried to be nice to these people, but they continue to act harshly against you, then they are truly the ones who have the problem. In situations like this wouldn't it be nice to be able to tell these people to "get over themselves!" However, that would just make the matter worse. When around these easily offended people, just smile and be kind and say what you want, because it doesn't matter if you guard what you say, these people are already offended before you came into the picture. Just be yourself, don't take their criticism personally, brush it off, and move on with your life!

January 26, 2013

LET GO OF THE PAST AND LIVE FOR TODAY!

Are you holding on to past hurts? Are you holding on to and living for past memories? Maybe, it's time to look at today and grasp it for what it is; a blessing! Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is never promised, so all we have is today! Learn to let go of the past and learn to live for today!

Not all memories of our past are bad! I'm not saying that you have to forget all the good times you had in years gone by, but if you are holding on to them and if they are all you ever think about, then it might be time to let some of them go. I know a lady, and all she ever talks about is the past. She repeats the same old stories time after time; from the time she took a vacation with her father to Canada 60 years ago, to how much gas cost when she started driving 60+ years ago, to how her husband cheated on her over 30 years ago; it's the same stories day in and day out. Never once does she say how beautiful today is! She is living for the past. 

There are even circumstances from my own past that I have had to let go. For years, I have tried to "fit in" to different social groups, and it took me over 20 years to finally understand that I was never going to be accepted, and I had to "let go" of that expectation. Once I "let go," it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer get upset when my family does not receive that invitation to a family function or to a friend's party.

Learn to "let go" of past hurts that may be robbing you of today's happiness! Right NOW is all we have, so what are you going to do with it? Are you going to think about what you shoulda, woulda, coulda, done 30 years ago, or are you going to live your life in the present? Let go of the past and live for today!

January 21, 2013

YOU CANNOT HAVE A TESTIMONY IF YOU NEVER HAVE TO FACE A TEST!

What kind of challenges are you facing right now in your life? You may be sitting back thinking that there is no way possible that you are going to get through this present difficulty. Everything may look bleak and hopeless at this time in your life, but this is a test, and how you come out of it depends on your attitude about your circumstances. Once you get through the test, you will be able to share your testimony and help those with a similar struggle.

A wise lady once said, "The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances," that wise lady was Martha Washington. This was part of my problem in the past! I had a horrible outlook on life! I was brought up by a woman who told me that life sucked and that hell was on Earth. Imagine hearing those negative words every day of your life until you were able to move out on your own at the age of 19. Nineteen years of negativity being pounded into your head day after day. Just as long as that negativity was beat into my head it has taken me to "try" to reprogram the poison that was instilled into my soul. I will be the first to tell you that change does not happen overnight! It takes a lot of time to change all those negative recordings in your head to positive ones. It is still a work in progress, and I have been living on my own now for nearly 21 years!

Let me share a little something that you probably don't know about me. From living in such a negative environment for so many years, I struggled nearly every day of my life with depression. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words, "You are not good enough," I would be a rich woman right now! After being told that nearly every day of my life for 19+ years, you start to believe it. I struggled with depression for many years on my own, and it ruined many of my close friendships. Then one day I decided, "You know what, I can't deal with this on my own anymore," and I went to talk to my doctor. I am now taking a low dose anxiety medication, and it has worked wonders. Maybe medication isn't right for you. I know what you mean, because I did not want to go that route.....EVER! However, with all the stress from my husband's cancer and the stress of my mother living with my family a few years before that with her cancer issues then the financial issues we have been facing since my husband was sick and then our bathroom floor caving in, it just got to be too much. I woke up one morning, and I was shaking uncontrollably. So, on that day, I decided that I could not deal with all of life's woes on my own. Does that make me weak? NO! It just means that maybe this new testimony will help someone else who may be facing the same struggles!

Don't get discouraged for the circumstances you may be facing at this present moment of your life! Take each day one day at a time, and if that is too much, take it one hour at a time, and if that is too much, take it one minute at a time. What you are going through right now is only a test! Once you are through it, you will have your testimony to help those who may be facing a similar struggle!

January 20, 2013

CRYING RELIEVES SO MUCH TENSION AND STRESS!

SO, DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHED A FEW TEARS!

There are times in our lives when we get down, and we get sad. We can keep all those feelings bottled up inside us, or we can release them by shedding a few tears. Crying can relieve stress and tension, and usually, after a good cry, we feel like the weight of the world has been taken from our shoulders. So, don't be afraid to cry! Let go of the pain, the hurt, the stress, the tension, by shedding those tears!

Maybe you feel that crying is beneath you. Maybe you feel that you have to refrain from crying, because you feel people will look at you as weak if you break down. My friend, crying is not a sign of weakness! People cry, because they remained strong for too long! It is extremely healthy to cry! So, as you are reading this if you feel those heavy tears welling up behind your eyes, let them flow, because that is what I did earlier today, and I feel so much better now! Cry and let out those feelings of sadness! Then take a deep breath and breathe in happiness, joy, and a new perspective!

January 19, 2013

YOU MUST PUSH PAST THE PAIN AND THE HURT AND ALLOW IT TO MAKE YOU A STRONGER AND A BETTER 
YOU!

Have you been hurt emotionally throughout your life? Do past hurts keep pulling you down? Past hurts can either control us, or we can learn to become a stronger and better person because of those hurts.

I could go into a huge, long story of how I have been hurt in my lifetime from being called an illegitimate bastard who should have never been born to being called a myriad of other degrading names, but that makes me sound like a victim and not a victor. I could go into a tirade about how I was rejected in so many different social groups including my own families. How would that help you? That would only make you feel sorry for me, and I don't want that. Sure I have been through a lot of pain and hurt throughout my lifetime; however, I have also been quite blessed in my lifetime as well! I keep learning each day to push past the hurt and the pain and learn to become stronger!

How do you do that? Focus on the good! Focus on the blessings! Focus on everything and everyone that God has blessed you with! Focus on the family and friends who love you and who accept you! STOP focusing on the negative and ONLY focus on the positive! Surround yourself with those who will lift you up and not with those who will tear you down! Find that silver lining in that dark past! Become a stronger and a  better YOU every single day!

January 18, 2013

DON'T WAIT TO CONTACT THOSE YOU LOVE!

YOU MAY WAKE UP ONE DAY AND IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE.

This past year has taught me a valuable life lesson. That lesson is not to wait till tomorrow to contact people I love, because I found out the hard way that tomorrow is sometimes too late. In 2012, I lost two people who were very special to me. One was a treasured friend and the other was my sister-in-law. On both occasions, I had a foreboding feeling that I needed to contact them, but each time I said, "No, I will wait till tomorrow." Each time, tomorrow was too late. I found out the very next days that my loved ones had passed on to the other side. For three years now, I have been trying to get people to understand that tomorrow is never promised. Contact those you love and do it today! Tomorrow might be too late!

Tell The Universe What You Want!

TELL THE UNIVERSE WHAT YOU WANT!

If you have been following my blog from the very beginning then you know that my family has been through many struggles in the past few years. Many of you know that my husband was diagnosed with esophageal and stomach cancer nearly 3 1/2 years ago. I can happily say that my husband will soon be 3-years cancer-free on April 8 this year! In these past 3 1/2 years, my husband and I have not asked anyone for any help; other than, with selling off some of our personal belongings and asking some of our friends to help us by purchasing our items. In these last 3 years, several people have made comments to us that they cannot help us if they do not know what it is that we need or want, so I have decided to tell the Universe what it is that I want this year.

It is my desire for one of our friends or family members to host my husband and I an anniversary party! My husband and I will be married for 20 years on March 19. As I am telling the Universe my desire, I am thinking, "Is this necessary? Is this something that my husband and I deserve?" The answer is "YES!!!"

My family has been through so many struggles, and it would be so nice to have those who love us to show us by giving us a 20 year anniversary party. It's a silly thought, but it's my thought. In reality, I know that the only ones who will be celebrating our 20th year of marriage will be my husband, my son, and myself. As my husband, son, and I go out on the evening of March 19 to have a small, quiet, family evening out to celebrate our love, in my mind, it will be a big celebration that I will cherish for the rest of my life!

January 17, 2013

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
DON'T JUST TELL OTHERS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM!

SHOW THEM!

Isn't it nice when our friends and family members tell us that they love us? Doesn't that make you feel special? If you are anything like me, loving words from the people closest to me give me those warm and fuzzy feelings inside. Do you know what else gives me those warm, fuzzy feelings? My heart just melts when those same people show me how much I mean to them! 

Maybe you are wondering how to turn your words into actions. Well, it's not too hard just start small. For instance, if you have a friend with a birthday in the near future, send them a card in the mail. Or on the day of their birthday, pick up your phone and give them a call to personally wish them a happy day. If you can financially afford to, buy your friend a small gift. It doesn't have to be anything expensive. If you cannot afford to buy a small gift, a homemade one will hold even more meaning. If that is not an option, then take time out of your busy schedule and spend some quality time with your friend. Your time is one of the most rewarding gifts you could ever give to those you care about.

Sometimes we need the people closest to us to show us how much we truly mean to them. Like the old sayings goes, "Actions speak louder than words!" Show those you love how much they truly mean to you! People are just too busy these days, and we need to start slowing down and start showing our loved ones how much we care!

January 16, 2013

JUST BECAUSE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE MAY LOOK BLEAK AT THE PRESENT MOMENT, DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOUR LIFE WILL STAY THAT WAY FOREVER!

Some Things are Just a Temporary Inconvenience!

Not Forever!

Have Faith That The Light Will Shine Again One Day Real Soon!

Are you facing a difficult situation in your life at the present time? Do you not know what you are going to do or who you are going to turn to? Do you feel like everything you do just isn't enough? Well, my friend, I have to admit that my own family has been going through similar situations now for the past three years. Just when we get over one hurdle, we are then faced with another one. However, the one reminder I need to tell myself daily is that most of these circumstances are only temporary inconveniences. Things in my family's life may look really bleak and dismal at the present time, but I have to have faith that things will turn around for the better for my family one day real soon. The light will shine on us again one day real soon!

The one thing that helps me to get through each of my days is to remember that I am truly blessed! I am thankful for so many things in my life; however, the "things" I am thankful and grateful for the most are not "things." They are the two people whom I love the most in the world, and they are my husband and son! Another lesson I have learned over the last three years is that I can no longer look at the "big picture" of my life. The best way for me to look at my life is on a day-to-day basis. As long as I have what I need for the day is enough. If I looked too far ahead, it would be enough to drive a person insane.

As my family is now facing a new struggle, I am trusting God that everything will be okay! The one thing in life that is constant is change, and our bleak situation will soon evolve into a brighter tomorrow! Faith will see us through the darkness, and we will become stronger because of the temporary struggles we have been facing. No negative circumstance lasts forever, so learn to see the light that today has to offer! 

January 15, 2013

DON'T ALLOW OTHERS TO DESTROY YOUR SELF-WORTH BECAUSE OF THE MISTAKES YOU HAVE MADE!

THEY FORGET THAT THEY HAVE A PAST, AND THEY HAVE MADE MISTAKES ALSO!

It's really easy for others to sit back and judge you for the choices and mistakes you have made in your life. Even though you may have changed, and you may have become a totally different person, those judging you may only see you for how you once were and not for who you are now. You may have been trying for years to get these people to see your value, but they just can't see it. Maybe, it's better to say that they choose not to see the person you have become. What those people fail to see is that you are human, and it is okay to make mistakes! How are we supposed to learn and grow if we are never permitted to make a mistake?

There are valuable life lessons to be learned here. One lesson is that no matter how much you change, no matter how much you grow, no matter how much you learn, and no matter how much you try to prove your worth to some, those people will never see you as anymore than the shell of who you used to be. Move on from these individuals.

Those who cannot forgive you for who you once were, and who cannot forget the mistakes you have made need to remember that they too have a past! They too have made mistakes! There is not a single person on this planet who has not made a mistake. Learn not too dwell in the past. Forgive yourself for the mistakes of the past, live for today, and if you have to, walk away from those who cannot let go of who you once were. 

January 3, 2013

ACCEPT NOT BEING ACCEPTED AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!

For the majority of my life, I have struggled with being accepted into relationships or fitting in with certain social groups. I have gone out of my way to try to force people to like me, especially people within my own family. What I failed to realize for most of my life is that I cannot force others to accept me into their social circle, and I cannot make them "like" me. What I was doing was making myself look like a fool, and what I should have been concentrating on was learning to accept myself for who God made me to be!

In the past nearly 40 years, I have learned that it is okay not to be accepted. I don't need other people to show me my self-worth and my self-value. It may have taken me a very long time to learn the lesson; however, we don't learn the lesson until we are able to accept the lesson and we are able to grow from the lesson. I think I am able to grasp what God has been trying to teach me throughout my lifetime. The only acceptance I need is His! It truly does not matter what my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. think about me. Their opinions are merely that....opinions. Opinions cannot be proven as fact! They are just someone's perspective of you, and there is no right or wrong.

In 2013, I challenge you to accept not being accepted by certain people in your life and move on and live your life the way you want to live it! I have found peace with the fact that there are people who will never like me, who will never invite me their homes, who will never accept me as even being a human being, and I am 100% okay with that! I have learned to accept not being accepted, and I am ready to move on and "Let Go"!!!  

January 1, 2013

CHOOSE A WORD OR PHRASE TO HELP YOU THROUGH 2013!!!

Seems like the original post I made yesterday was deleted for some reason. Here is a shorter version of what I had posted.

Happy New Year, Friends! How many of you make New Year's Resolutions? Three years ago, I gave up on New Year's resolutions, and I started something new. I started to choose a word that I would focus on throughout the year that would help me to become a better person. In 2011, my word was "Positive" I was determined to have the most positive year of my life. My husband had just finished his chemo and radiation treatments and had just healed from his surgery at the end of 2010, so I was determined that 2011 would be a positive year for my family.

In 2012, my word was, "Love." I think that is pretty self-explanatory.

This year, I will have a phrase. "Letting Go!" Letting go of anything negative that may be holding me back from my full potential.

So, I ask you, my friends, do you have a word that will help you through this year? If so, please share!