January 21, 2013

YOU CANNOT HAVE A TESTIMONY IF YOU NEVER HAVE TO FACE A TEST!

What kind of challenges are you facing right now in your life? You may be sitting back thinking that there is no way possible that you are going to get through this present difficulty. Everything may look bleak and hopeless at this time in your life, but this is a test, and how you come out of it depends on your attitude about your circumstances. Once you get through the test, you will be able to share your testimony and help those with a similar struggle.

A wise lady once said, "The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances," that wise lady was Martha Washington. This was part of my problem in the past! I had a horrible outlook on life! I was brought up by a woman who told me that life sucked and that hell was on Earth. Imagine hearing those negative words every day of your life until you were able to move out on your own at the age of 19. Nineteen years of negativity being pounded into your head day after day. Just as long as that negativity was beat into my head it has taken me to "try" to reprogram the poison that was instilled into my soul. I will be the first to tell you that change does not happen overnight! It takes a lot of time to change all those negative recordings in your head to positive ones. It is still a work in progress, and I have been living on my own now for nearly 21 years!

Let me share a little something that you probably don't know about me. From living in such a negative environment for so many years, I struggled nearly every day of my life with depression. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words, "You are not good enough," I would be a rich woman right now! After being told that nearly every day of my life for 19+ years, you start to believe it. I struggled with depression for many years on my own, and it ruined many of my close friendships. Then one day I decided, "You know what, I can't deal with this on my own anymore," and I went to talk to my doctor. I am now taking a low dose anxiety medication, and it has worked wonders. Maybe medication isn't right for you. I know what you mean, because I did not want to go that route.....EVER! However, with all the stress from my husband's cancer and the stress of my mother living with my family a few years before that with her cancer issues then the financial issues we have been facing since my husband was sick and then our bathroom floor caving in, it just got to be too much. I woke up one morning, and I was shaking uncontrollably. So, on that day, I decided that I could not deal with all of life's woes on my own. Does that make me weak? NO! It just means that maybe this new testimony will help someone else who may be facing the same struggles!

Don't get discouraged for the circumstances you may be facing at this present moment of your life! Take each day one day at a time, and if that is too much, take it one hour at a time, and if that is too much, take it one minute at a time. What you are going through right now is only a test! Once you are through it, you will have your testimony to help those who may be facing a similar struggle!