CONCERN YOURSELF LESS WITH THOSE WHO ARE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT YOU!!!

CARE FOR THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU AND DON'T WAIT TILL TOMORROW!

TOMORROW MIGHT BE TOO LATE!

Since Easter, I have been very down and concerning myself with people who never concern themselves with me. My thoughts were consumed in gloom and doom, and I was truly feeling sorry for myself. I was wasting so much of my precious time thinking about people who never think about me. Do you know what happened? I took away precious time from people who truly did care about me, and in the process, I lost a near and dear friend without having the chance to say good bye.

In the past 39 years of my life, I have been obsessed with the people who reject me. I have been engrossed in trying to figure out why these people don't want to be my friend and a part of my life. I put those people who truly do care about me on hold while I was lost in my own mind trying to make things clear. Well, today, the day after I lost one of my dearest friends, things are clear. All those people who rejected me do not matter! If they do not want me in their lives, I cannot force them to accept me, and I shouldn't even waste my time trying. However, those people who were there for me and my family during our darkest days are valuable gems, and I lost a precious diamond yesterday.

I knew something wasn't right. I saw the writing on the wall, but I ignored it. Just a few days ago, I thought to myself, I need to get in touch with my friend, but I let the thought go. I thought, "I'll do that tomorrow." Tomorrow came and it was too late! My friend was gone, and I never had the chance to say good bye. 

Don't waste your precious time and don't concern yourself with people who are unwilling to concern themselves with you! Move on and focus on those who truly care about you! Don't rob yourself of valuable time with those who mean the most! Let go of those who reject you and make room for those who love you!

May 20, 2012

DECIDE TO CRAWL OUT OF THAT DARK HOLE OF DEPRESSION YOU HAVE YOURSELF IN!!!

Since Easter, I have had myself in a deep, dark hole of depression. It really started the weekend after Easter when my family found out that we had not been invited to my husband's cousin's wedding, but everyone else in the family had been invited and had attended. The wedding my family was to know nothing about became plastered all over Facebook for everyone to see. By the looks on everyone's faces a good time was had by all. However, my husband had a different look on his face; a look of hurt and pain. This is when my depression kicked in. I started to blame myself once again for my husband being excluded from family functions. Because his family does not like me, they will not invite my husband to any family functions. They do not want to be around me, so my husband gets left out. This pains me to my very core of existence. The following thought has been going through my mind for a month now, "The only way my husband will be able to have a relationship with his family is if I am gone."

I'm not exactly sure why I have trouble with these reoccurring thoughts. However, each time I decide to drag myself up out of that hole of depression God sends me the same message, "You are not the problem! Didn't you learn the lesson I was trying to teach you when I asked you to plan that Easter dinner? What is it going to take to get you to see the lesson that I want and need you to learn? If you were the problem, you would have never followed my instructions to plan and host that Easter dinner! You proved to yourself and to your husband's family that you are NOT the one keeping them away from each other! They are keeping themselves away from each other, but they blame you."

Isn't it funny what you learn when you turn on the light, when you crawl out of that dark cave, and you get quiet and listen to that little inner voice that resides from within. I already knew this, but I took those words down into the caverns of despair, and I buried them there and forgot them for a while. I'm not sure why it matters to me so much that my husband's family does not like me. I don't think I really care that they dislike me, I just don't like how they don't treat my husband as part of the family. I guess it stems from being an outcast in my own family, and I don't want my husband to go through what I have been though. Family is so important; however, I cannot force them to accept us.

Whatever you may be facing, whatever has you in that hole of depression, face it head on and don't keep yourself hidden for too long. God made you who you are for a purpose, and if you are unwilling to crawl out of that hole, you are wasting God's talents that he blessed you with. Take one step at a time, one minute at a time, one day at a time, and crawl out of that dark hole you may have yourself in!