Monday, January 31, 2011

January 31, 2011


This year would have gone more smoothly had someone told me this quote earlier throughout my husband's cancer treatment process. Whenever my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I truthfully felt that this was going to be God's way of bringing our families (meaning my husband's family and my family) closer together. I felt that those who stayed away and who did not associate with us would feel compelled to be closer with us throughout my husband's healing processes which included surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation treatments. However, I set my expectations WAY too high, and I was expecting something that was not going to happen.

What made me set my expectations too high? First, it was probably the family bonds I had witnessed growing up whenever a family member would become ill. Everyone would pitch in together and help each other. I remember my mother going to different family members homes whenever they were sick, and she would offer a helping hand. I remember when I was a little girl going with my mom to my aunt's house whenever my aunt was first diagnosed with cancer over 30 years ago. My mom spent the entire day cleaning my aunt's house, because my aunt was too sick to do it herself. My father would be there for family members or neighbors or friends whenever they may have been down on their luck. We were a poor family, but if there was one thing we could offer others, it was love and support and a helping hand.

Maybe my expectations were too high because of things our family members have done to help strangers. My husband's aunt and uncle traveled to North Carolina from Pennsylvania to attend a fundraiser for a lady who had cancer who they did not even know. This lady was a friend of a friend, but they traveled over 500 miles to help someone in need. Maybe my expectations were too high, because of how my husband and I have helped those in need over the years including the aunt and uncle above. Whenever my husband's aunt was diagnosed with cancer, my family was there for the aunt and uncle everyday. Whenever they needed help thoughout their trial, we were there to lend a helping hand.

However, my expectations of our family members were too high on a pedestal, and my feelings were crushed whenever no one was there to lend us a helping hand with the exception of two neighbors. Some of our family members have never visited my husband since he was diagnosed over a year ago. Most of our family members have turned their backs, and they became extremely angry with me whenever I voiced my opinion about them turning away and not being there for us in our time of need.

I apologize for this being such a long post, but it seems that once again life has thrown my family a curve ball in the health department. However, this time, I have no expectations for anyone. This time I will avoid hurt and disappointment by lowering my expectations. Expect nothing from anyone!

January 30, 2011


How many activities do you try to fit into one day? Does there never seem to be enough hours in each of your days? Do you never have enough time to get it all done? That is how many people feel myself included up until a year ago.

I used to stay up till the wee hours of the night trying to get everything accomplished that was on my "to do" list before the start of the next day. About a year or two after my husband and I were married, I stayed up till 4 a.m. one night painting my living room walls. I could not leave it half finished. I needed to have the entire room painted before the start of the next day. Plus, I had to work an eight hour shift which started at 8 a.m.

Now looking back at this scenario, I can truly see how I had my priorities way out of line. What I should have done was put the paint back in the can, and I should have gone to bed with my husband. Did it really matter if the painting had to wait one more evening before it was completed? No, it didn't matter; however, I made it a larger priority than it had to be at the time.

In the last year, I have learned how to take advantage of tomorrow. It does not matter if all the household chores do not get done in one evening or day. There is always tomorrow to get done what you did not have a chance to get done today. Is it going to matter a month from now or a year from now that the vacumming did not get done when you wanted it to be done? Is it going to matter if the dishes had to sit in the sink overnight? NO!!!

What matters is you spend quality time with those you love and who love you! Instead of doing chores while the rest of your family is sitting in the living room or family room enjoying a movies, join your family! Don't stay home to finish the laundry while your family goes on a neighborhood walk! Go with them! Enjoy the time you have today with those you love! Take advantage of tomorrow, because the chores can wait!

January 29, 2011


We have all heard this phrase at one point or another in our lives. However, how many of us really participate in this act of not judging people by how they look or by what they wear?

This thought came to me today while my family visited an art gallery which is located nearly 60 miles from our home. My husband and I just recently purchased a few unframed pieces of art from a local art gallery which was going out of business. We were visiting this other art gallery today in order to have our artwork framed. While speaking to the salesman, it occurred to me that in that line of work it would be very easy to become biased and to judge people by how they look or how they dress. The salesman even told us a story about a couple who visited his store over the summer. This couple must not have "looked" like people who would be visiting an art gallery, and they must not have "looked" like the type of people who could afford to purchase any artwork. The salesman even remembered the type of clothing the lady was wearing: a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Apparently, the salesman did his duty of explaining the artwork to the couple, but clearly he had no expectations of the couple making any kind of purchase. However, the couple shocked the salesman by purchasing several "high quality" pieces, and they paid cash for their purchases.

What would have happened if this salesman would have just ignored this couple, and if he would not have taken the time out of his busy day in order to speak to this couple? He would have missed out on making a sale. This exact thing has happened to my husband and I over the last 20 years we have been married. I remember walking into an electronics store in order to purchase a VCR for my parents for Christmas; however, no salesperson wanted to help us. We had to actually go hunt down a salesperson and ask to be helped. I have actually walked out of stores because salespeople would refuse to help me, and I would go to another store to make the purchase where someone was willing to help me with my purchase.

All these scenarios are aimed toward salespeople; however, how many of us discount a person just because of how they look, what they are wearing, what type of car they drive, what kind of home they live in? I am sure many of us have walked away from wonderful friendships that could have been made. So, learn to get to know someone for who they are and not for what they wear or how they look. Never judge a book by it's cover!

Friday, January 28, 2011

January 28, 2011


If you are ever feeling down or when nothing seems to be going right, find something to laugh about, and your spirits will go from being low to being lifted.

Today was an off day for me, or we could call it a low spirits day. I am not exactly sure why I felt that way, but I suppose it was stemming from the stress of this past year. People's hateful words kept replaying in my mind, and no matter what I did to try to lift my spirits nothing seemed to work. I even tried reading one of my Joel Osteen books, but that didn't help. However, once my family came home; my son from school and my husband from work, my spirits became brighter!

My son was the first to make me laugh when I told him he was not quite as tall as me. He then proceeded to tell me that if I were not wearing go-go boots, he would be my height. Let me be the first to tell you that I do not own go-go boots, but his response got a chuckle out of me. Then my second laugh came when my husband came home with a new blood pressure machine, and he decided to try to take my blood pressure. He told me to stand still for two minutes, and then he proceeded to say he knew how hard that would be for me. That made me laugh, because we have always joked that I can never sit down. I always have to be doing something.

My day started out gloomy; however, two comments made me laugh and lifted my spirits. Even if you do not have someone in your life who can make silly comments to you in order to get a laugh out of you, then try to find other methods to make you laugh. Rent a funny movie, watch a funny tv show, go to a comedy club, but find an outlet in order to relieve the stress which might be causing your low spirit and laugh. Laughing will lift your spirits higher!

January 27, 2011


Have you ever been deep in thought, and you suddenly hear a voice deep down within you? Some people call this our conscience while others call it the Spirit speaking to us. How many of us listen to that voice?

I have to admit that many times in my past I have ignored that voice, and each and every time I have ignored it, something bad transpired. One time my husband wanted to go visit his family in New York, and normally this would not be a problem and I would not have any issues with going to visit his family. However, this time, something inside me told me to stay home. I did not listen, and I ended up coming home with shingles all over my face. Maybe, you are thinking this is just coincidence, but many occasions like this have happened in my life. One time, a family member came to me and asked me to host a babyshower for another family member. My inner voice told me to say no. However, the good in me said yes. Even my husband warned me about taking on this project, because he did not have peace about the situation. After spending hundreds of dollars on merchandise and presents for this babyshower, the family member whom the babyshower was for called me and said some not so nice things about me, and needless to say, the babyshower was cancelled. Just recently, my inner voice told me not to take a subbing job, and once again, I did not listen. That day I ended up getting cursed out by one of the children in the class. I ended up leaving two hours early from my job with tears streaming down my face.

These are just three times I refused to listen to my inner voice, but I can assure you that there have been many times in my life when I ignored that inner voice, and the situtation did not turn out well.

That inner voice was given to us in order to guide us through each of our days. I have learned over the years to listen to that voice and not ignore it any longer. Get quiet once in a while and listen to what that inner voice has to say. Sometimes when our minds get overactive, and we are trying to figure out a problem on our own but we feel like we are pushed into a corner with nowhere to turn. STOP AND LISTEN! You might be surprised where that inner voice leads you! The inner voice will lead you to good and never bad. The inner voice, which I like to call The Spirit, is meant to lead you to God and will help you through all your life's problems. The Spirit NEVER causes harm to you or anyone else. The Spirit will lead you out of the darkness and into the light! Listen to your inner voice and see what it has to say!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

January 26, 2011


Have you ever heard the saying, "You are what you eat"? How about this one, "You become the person from whom surrounds you"? I have to admit I enjoy watching television programs such as, Oprah and Dr. Phil. So many times on those shows, I have heard Oprah and Dr. Phil making comments that if you surround yourself with negative people, you will become negative, or if you surround yourself with positive people, you will become positive.

I beleive these statements to be true; however, do not take my word for it. Test your emotions when you surround  yourself with negative naysayers. How do you feel after you leave that group? I bet you feel drained of energy both emotionally and physically. We all know negative people, and sometimes it is hard to keep a distance from these people. For instance, my mother has always been negative. She will look for the worst case scenario in every situation. She is always waiting for the "bad things" to happen. For instance, last night my family and I had her over for my birthday dinner. The weather forecast was calling for snow, and my son made the comment that he wished we would get a blizzard. Well, my mother jumped in on that conversation with how a blizzard would be terrible because she lives alone, and WHAT IF something were to happen! How would someone get to her in time? I asked her what would happen. Her reply was, "Well, I don't know, but something bad might happen."

It is a sad life to live always expecting the worst. I have always from a little child thought diffently than my mother. I would look for ways of how I could do something instead of just casting the thought aside because naysayers would make comments like, "It will never work". Well, how do they know that your thoughts will never work when they never tried what it is you would like to accomplish. If I would have listened to my mother, I would  never have gone back to college for my Associate's Degree. According to her, I was too old. Who is she to say how old is too old to go back to college? I read a story about an 80 year-old grandma going back to college because she always wanted a college degree. That grandma didn't let naysayers ruin her chance of a college education. She thought differently, and she earned her degree!

Don't be afraid to think differently than the people who surround you! Don't be afraid to think outside the box! Don't let people talk you out of your goals because they were too afraid to take a risk and follow their own dreams. Surround yourself with positive people who edify you and who encourage you to become the best person you were meant to be. Think differently and become a better person!

January 25, 2011


How many of your birthdays have you let pass you by? How many times have you made the comment, "It's just another day"? I know I have made that comment many times, and I don't think I am very old. Today is my birthday, and I turned 38 today.

If you have never been in the habit of celebrating your birthday, start celebrating your birthday this year! It is a big deal! It was the day you were brought into this world! It was the day you started your life on this planet! This is an exciting day! This day 38 years ago, I breathed my first breath!

Your birthday is meant to be celebrated! Whatever it is that you like to do, take a day to yourself, and celebrate! Maybe you want to celebrate by spending the day with the people who mean the most to you, or maybe you would rather spend the day alone doing your favorite activities. Maybe you would like to eat at your favorite restaurant or perhaps cook your favorite meal or have a friend or spouse prepare the meal for you. Maybe you would like to watch your favorite movie or just kick back and relax. Maybe you would like to have a big party with all your friends and family members.

Whatever it is that you like to do, take time on your birthday to  have a "ME" day! Don't look at it as selfishness! Look at it as a day to celebrate YOU!

Monday, January 24, 2011

January 24, 2011


If there is one lesson I learned this year that I know works everytime, it is the fact that smiling can change your mood from being lousy into being terrific, and a smile can make one realize that life isn't so bad afterall. You may be going through a horrible struggle right now, and smiling might be the last thing you want to even consider doing, but I am telling you that smiling will lift your spirits and will help you to feel better about your situation. You may think that I am crazy and that I do not know what I am talking about, but I can reassure you that I know that what I am saying is true.

On April 9, 2010, the day after my husband's major surgery when the doctors removed his stomach and esophagus, I walked into my husband's intensive care room with a huge smile on my face and remained smiling while speaking to the surgeon about my husband's condition. You may think this is odd after having gone through such a traumatic event in our lives, but I was smiling because smiling back at me on the other side of the room while lying in a hospital bed was my husband. I will be honest that I was nervous when I walked into the room, because when I had left him at midnight after a 13 hour surgery, he was unconscious and was lying in his hospital bed with hundreds of wires attached to him including a respirator which helped him breathe. Even though he was still hooked up to numerous wires when I walked in the room in the morning, the respirator was removed, he was awake, and he was smiling at me. Just the sight of my husband being awake made me smile!

My husband's journey to healing was long and arduous, but I don't think there was a day that went by that our family didn't find something to smile about. Each day we had something to be grateful for and that was the fact that my husband was still with us. I read somewhere the saying, "Smile at everyone you meet because it might be the only sunshine they receive that day" or something similar to that, but I am sure you understand what I am trying to say. Find something to smile about everyday! Even if you don't feel like smiling, do it anyway, and see what happens. I will bet that your spirits will soon be lifted higher.

January 23, 2011


Have you ever found yourself in a store looking at an item and really liking it while contemplating whether to buy it or not. Most of the time, we have the money to purchase the item, but if you are anything like me, you will pick it up and put it back down 10 times before making a final decision to let it sit on the shelf and walk away. I have never been the type of person to make needless purchases on items that are not of necessity. On a very rare occassion do I ever walk out of a store with an item for my own pleasure. I have no difficulty spending money on other people, but I struggle with purchasing items for myself. Even as a child I was frugal and knew how to save a buck. Those traits carried over into adulthood.

Joyce Meyer has a book out called, "Eat the Cookie and Buy the Shoes." This is another of Joyce's books which I would like to read but haven't had the opportunity to purchase yet. By the title of the book, I believe Joyce is saying treat yourself once in a while. Give yourself a present from time to time. So many of us are so wrapped up in making others happy that we sacrifice our own happiness. Take time to splurge on a guilty pleasure. We are only on this Earth once, so live it up! Buy yourself the shoes, the blouse, the pants, the jacket, the purse, the designer glasses, the ice cream cone, the knick knack, etc....whatever it is that you like. Maybe not everything at once, but one item at a time on a regular basis. Treat yourself and make yourself smile!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

January 22, 2011


Do you ever find yourself going through your days on autopilot? What I mean is, do you just go through the motions of daily life without recognizing what surrounds you? Lots of people get into the habit of going from point a to point b and not even realizing how they got there. Have you ever gotten in your car and driven to your destination without remembering passing anything along the way? You are on autopilot, my friend.

Everyone on planet Earth has had an experience of autopilot syndrome. We get into the motions of rushing from here to there that we forget to look at the beauty which surrounds us. Just the other evening, my family and I were driving over one of our local mountain ranges at dusk just as the sun was setting. The breathtaking view of the sunset awed even my fourteen year old son. The crimson red mixed with the golden hues against the vibrant blue sky was mesmerizing. All we could say was, "WOW! Look at that awesome view!"

We were able to find beauty at a local art galery as well. Who could think of a better place to find such beauty? Thomas Kinkade has been blessed with a beautiful gift of recognizing the beauty that surrounds us all! Look at a Thomas Kinkade painting, and you will be transported to another world!

Even if sunsets and painting are not your thing, you can find beauty surrounding you no matter where you go. Learn to find the beauty which surrounds you on a daily basis! It may change your outlook on life.

Friday, January 21, 2011

January 21, 2011


Everyone needs a little bit of inspiration from time to time. This day and age seems to be like no other time in history. Maybe it is just my imagination, but people are different in 2011 than they were back in the '80's when I was a kid. There doesn't seem to be that sense of comradery anymore or that togetherness of family bonds anymore. I remember being a little girl and on Sunday afternoons, the family would pile in the car to visit another family member who might live in the next town. If we didn't visit, then someone was always visiting us on the weekends: brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, or cousins. The house was seldom empty. These days my family's home is always exempt of visitors, except on the holidays. It seems like people will only visit if it is a major holiday or celebration.

Another thing I have noticed about some people is they do not want to inspire their fellow family members or friends. They seem to no longer have time for us anymore. My family learned this from going through my husband's battle with cancer. Almost all our friends and family members turned away and looked in the opposite direction. This angered me, and I would take it out on my facebook friends who happened to be some of the family members who were looking the other way. I truly annoyed them all, because I would post comments that I felt families should come together during others times of need. However, many looked at me as being selfish. How dare I make comments that the family should be there for us and helping us?

What I needed was a little inspiration! I needed someone to tell me that everything was going to be ok. I needed someone to come to my house and visit with me and have a cup of coffee with me in order to ease my mind of the stress my family was witnessing everyday for a year. A little human contact other than doctors, nurses, and other cancer patients would have been heavenly. However, that inspiration never came.

Do you know someone who is going through a trying time? Maybe they are suffering through a life-threatening illness, or maybe, they are having some financial difficulties. Be an inspiration to that person! Be a friend to that person! Pick up the phone and say, "Hey, I am thinking about you, and I am telling you everything will be ok. I love you!" Sometimes, all a person needs is to know there is someone out there who cares. Be that person's shining star! Be their inspiration!

January 20, 2011


It took me a very long time to realize that difficult periods during our life are meant to teach us a lesson. I always went through life looking at difficulties as a punishment for something that I did wrong in the past. Like so many young people, I was caught up in making a living and earning a paycheck in order to get those monthly bills paid. Life was flying by right before my eyes, but I was too busy to see how quickly time was passing. However, on November 10, 2010, my family’s life seemed to stop in its tracks when we received my husband’s cancer diagnosis. All our other problems we suffered through over the years soon seemed insignificant to what we were now facing.

Even today, a year later, I still seem to have trouble looking for that life’s lesson. During the year of my husband’s surgery and chemotherapy and radiation treatments, I seemed to be at peace even though I wasn’t working everyday. During the summer months, I had no income of my own coming in at all since school was closed for summer vacation, but I still seemed to have a sense of peace over me. Now, after my husband has healed and has been given a clean bill of health, I seem to be right back to where I was before his diagnosis of worrying about how I am going to pay my bills. It looks as if I didn’t take the lessons during my husband’s illness seriously. It looks as if I need to sit down and digest what God was trying to tell me for a year, but I still didn’t get it.

Here are the lessons I feel God was trying to get through my thick skull! Slow down, relax, and enjoy life and your family! Life is not all about bills, making payments, working your fingers to the bone, and stressing about how you are going to get it all accomplished. Yesterday was a bad day for me as you can tell with my post. I was an emotional wreck worried about my bills and my money situation; however, six months ago I was taking a different approach to those same issues. There was not a month that went by that I did not have enough money to make my monthly payments. My lesson is to allow God to take control! Another lesson I learned is the things we feel are problems are insignificant compared to what you could be facing. My husband never once complained about his cancer diagnosis. He never complained about his surgery or his treatments, and in my mind, he had every right to complain. However, he kept telling me how he was looking for the lesson to be learned from his situation. My husband showed me that I need to take all these lessons that are right in front of my eyes and start living them daily.

I ask you…what are you going through right now? What lesson can be learned from the difficulties you are facing? I will guarantee you there are lessons to be learned if you just look for them.  

January 19, 2011


Last night I had a dream that I was trying to get into a room, but there was no door. There was only a window, so I looked at the size of the window, saw that I could fit through, and I crawled through the window to the other side. I have always heard that sometimes God tries to get our attention while we sleep and dream. I am not sure if that is what was happening last night, but maybe, God is trying to tell me to look for the open windows in my life. That statement seems a lot easier to say and hear than it is to do.

Lately, I have been stressed about not having a job, the burden of my increasing debt, and wondering how I am going to continue to make my monthly bill payments since my subbing hours have been decreased since the New Year. I was fortunate to work six consecutive weeks before the holidays, but now I am lucky to get one full day a week. I have been filling out job applications, but I never even get a call for an interview. My guess is companies do not want to take their chance with me because I have a bad back, so I am limited to what types of jobs I can do which excludes any type of heavy lifting job. Unfortunately, I live in an area where there is mostly factory work or fast food businesses. Even though I possess an Associate’s Degree in Business Management, the telephone never rings for any kind of interview. The thought of returning to school for my Bachelor’s degree has entered my mind a few times in the last several months; however, I am not sure if I am willing to commit another $30,000 to my education if I am unable to land a job with my Associate’s Degree. It seems like a huge waste of money.

Each day I try to find the silver lining for why I am not getting an opportunity at a full-time job. Maybe there is something in the near future that is going to come up that is not going to allow me to work at a full-time job. Maybe I am too busy wallowing in self-pity of not making an income that I am passing by that open window. I am not sure how my future will turn out; however, don’t be afraid to keep your eyes open for that open window. If all the doors seem to be closed, keep your eyes peeled for that open window!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

January 18, 2011


Today, my family and I took a snow day together! My husband scheduled off work in advance in order to accompany me to a medical test I was to have done at our local hospital today. Last night before bedtime, we knew that our son was going to have at least a two-hour delay from school, because our local area was getting pelted with snow and freezing rain. At seven o'clock this morning, the radio dj's announced that our school district was closed, so my son was going to get to come along with my husband and I for my test. My son didn't mind tagging along to the hospital. For a 14 year-old boy, he has seen his fair share of hospitals in the past  year with his Dad being in and out of hospitals due to his cancer treatments and surgery.

My appointment was scheduled for 8:30 a.m., and we were up and ready to go even though it was a snow day. The appointment went well, and we drove across town on slippery, snow-covered, icy roads to our local Cracker Barrel for some scrumptous breakfast! We enjoyed our time together, and my son tried to get one peg in that brain teaser puzzle that was sitting on our table. We delighted in our huge, savory pancakes, wandered through the general store while listening to Dolly Parton singing her Backwoods Barbie cd, then we traveled up the street to do more Christmas shopping. YES! Christmas shopping! One of our stores had a 90% clearance sale off all their Christmas decorations, so we stocked up on wrapping paper, boxes, bows, and even some gifts for Christmas 2011! Our journey continued to a visit to my mom's house. Her birthday was a few weeks ago, and I just recently was able to get out to get her a birthday present. In spite of the bad weather, we traveled to a town 30 miles away in order to do more Christmas shopping. A huge teddy bear store is going out of business, and that is where I got my mom's birthday gifts, and I thought it was a good idea to get some Christmas gifts for this year. However, the store was closed because of the bad weather. So, we ventured back home in time for my son to get 45 minutes of daylight to play in the snow.

My meaning of this post was not to bore you of our events of the day, but to let you know that it is ok to take a family snow day. Snow days are great for family bonding and for making memories. Even though the day started out with a medical test, we were able to enjoy every aspect of the day because we were together! Make memories by enjoying a family snow day!

Monday, January 17, 2011

January 17, 2011


How many times in a day do you say "I love you" to those who mean the world to you? Are there days where you are so busy that you don't even think about saying those words? Get in the habit of saying those words at least one time a day. You might say that you do not have anyone in your life to say those words to, but I would argue that there are people in your life who would benefit greatly from hearing you say those words. Here is a list of a few people you may want to tell you love them: mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, sister, brother, son, daughter, aunt, uncle, cousin, step-family members, best friends, etc. If you still are thinking you have no one to say those words to, maybe an animal would love to hear those words. If you don't own an animal, maybe you love nature, but identify at least one person or thing that you love and say the words everyday.

Have you ever heard the saying "Love makes the world go around." There seems to be a love revolution going on in the world these days. Actually, Joyce Meyer has a book out called "Love Revolution". I haven't read it yet, but as soon as I get the extra money to buy it, I will add it to my book collection. Jesus even spoke about love being the most important commandment. To love each other as we love ourselves that is the most important commandment. In the book "The Power" by Rhonda Byrne, she explains how love replaces all feelings of hate and animosity. Once a person learns to love, all hate disappears.

Now, in my personal journey, I am still learning this concept. I can say that I truly do not hate anyone; however, it is hard for me to love those who have hurt me in the past. That is one area of my life that I continue to work on daily. However, the more I learn and grow, I am confident that one day I will be able to fully love those who have hurt me.

Ask yourself who might benefit from hearing you say the words "I love you." Maybe you have been meaning to call that friend who lives across the country who you haven't spoken to in quite a while. Maybe you haven't spoken to your siblings in a while because you are so busy with living life. Pick up the phone and make that call. Not only will you brighten that person's day, but you will show that person that you care. Don't be afraid to say the words "I LOVE YOU!" And do it every day!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

January 16, 2011


This can be a difficult feat for some people including myself. So many friends over the  years have uttered those words to me time in and time out. My reply would most definitely be a sigh with an, "I know" attached to it. However, how does a person learn to love himself or herself whenever he or she may have grown up in such a negative household. Self-love would have been considered selfish, conceited, or possibly downright sinful.

As a young child and teenager, I remember on quite a few occassions being told by my mother that I was not good enough. I was not good enough to be a certain girl's friend or different boys girlfriend. I was not rich enough or pretty enough. The list goes on and on. I never remember being told I could do something, but instead I could not do it because I was not good enough. Being told you are not good enough time after time throughout your childhood days, leaves a person scarred with a low self-esteem.

However, one does not have to live his or her entire life thinking that he or she is not good enough. Just because someone else in your life perceived you as not good enough does not mean it is true. Actually, it's NOT true at all! You are good enough! As Joel Osteen would say, "You are a child of the most high God!" You have purpose, and you are GOOD ENOUGH! Don't believe those words that may have been spoken over you while you were young! Maybe the person who spoke those words over you didn't have anyone in his or her life to encourage them to think differently about life. If they felt that way about you, then they most definitely felt the same way about himself or herself.

Learn to accept yourself for who God made you to be! Acceptance is the first step to healing all wounds. Change your perspective on life and learn to love yourself! You are definitely "GOOD ENOUGH!"

Saturday, January 15, 2011

January 15, 2011


We all know people who have times of need. There is not a single person on this planet who does not go through difficult, stress-filled times during their lifetime. In the past year, my family has gone through the most difficult challenge since my husband and I were married nearly 18 years ago: my husband's cancer diagnosis.

At first, I thought that the battle we faced would bring both sides of our families closer; however, I was truly wrong. My family wanted to hear nothing about what we were going through. I had a few family members on facebook who would keep in touch from time to time asking how my husband was doing, but they all refused to visit during his chemotherapy and radiation treatments and during his healing process after his surgery. My husband did have a few family members who seemed to care. Two sisters and a brother were at the hospital during his surgery, and a few of his family members visited him during his hospital stay; however, once he went home from the hospital, everyone seemed to forget where we lived, and they even seemed to forget our telephone number.

However, there were a few people who seemed to care: our neighbors. Our one neighbor, an elderly, retired gentlemen, plowed our driveway in the wintertime while my husband was undergoing his first rounds of chemotherapy treatments, so I was at peace of mind in case I had to rush him to the hospital due to any side effects that may have occurred.  Our neighbors who live to the rear of our property helped myself and my son with mowing the lawn during the summer when my husband was taking his last phase of chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and they helped us rake our leaves in the fall since my husband did not have the physical strength to do the task on his own. These people were strangers to us, but they helped us more than any of our family members or friends. Some of our family members and our friends seemed to turn their backs on us and look the other way when we needed them the most.

When someone you know and whom you claim to love is going through a difficult period in his or her lifetime, don't be afraid to step up to the plate and help them. Nine chances out of ten, they are not going to ask you for help. They will tell you that they are fine and that they can deal with everything on their own. I am telling you that they cannot deal with it on their own, because I have lived it. Don't be afraid to show up at your friend's house with a prepared meal, so they don't have to cook for an evening, or give them a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant if they are able to eat out. Do something to ease their minds! If you can afford it, help them with their expenses till they get back on their feet. Don't just sit back and say that they said that they are fine; do something to make their day a little easier. Be there for that person or persons in need, because one day you might need a helping hand!

Friday, January 14, 2011

January 14, 2011

"Find Your Authentic Self!"

This seems to be the word of the day. Everywhere I read, everywhere I turn, these words keep popping up to find out who you truly are. On Dolly Parton's website, she had a blog that stated to find out who you are and do it on purpose. Other inspirational messages have been popping up on my facebook page and in my email stating that it's time to once and for all find out who you are and find your true purpose in life.

That has been a difficult topic for me, because I am not sure who I am. I know the qualities that I possess: loving, caring, considerate, giving, etc., but who am I? I suppose the journey to "finding oneself" is difficult for some like me, but I am willing to take that journey to understand better what I am meant to being doing on this planet, Earth. Each of us are supposed to make the world a better place by leaving a positive mark. I am not sure how I am going to do that, but by taking one day at a time, I might be able to find the answer.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

January 13, 2011


As I have been thinking all day of a topic to talk about, this one word keeps coming to mind: relax. It seems like people are constantly busy these days. They always have to have something to do, something on their schedule, something to occupy their time. I witnessed this first hand about 10 years ago when I was taking my son to swimming lessons. Most of the parents there had their children involved in so many activities that I wasn't sure how the poor children did it all. Swim lessons were every night Monday through Friday. Plus, parents would have their children involved in several sporting events, girl and boy scouts, and numerous after school activities. Just thinking about it made me tired, and at the time, I was still young. I would watch one parent yell at his one son to finish his homework while sitting on the bleachers by the poolside while his other son learned the art of swimming.

Wow! Things sure have changed since I attended school. The only afterschool activity I was involved in was the 4-H club and I believe that was only one night a week for a few weeks out of the school year.

There is nothing wrong with afterschool activities, I just used that as an example. Afterschool activities build character. Even people with no children are constantly on the go and afraid to sit down.

Learn to relax! You do not need to be doing something every minute of every day. You are allowed to sit down and relax and read a book from time to time. Sit down and drink a nice cup of coffee and actually enjoy it instead of wolfing it down on your way out the door in the mornings. Relax! Life is too short to be busy all of the time.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

January 12, 2011


The other night I posted on my facebook wall that the reason Joel Osteen smiles all the time is because he is a millionaire, and I would smile all the time too if I didn't have the worries of whether my bills were going to get paid or not. Well, my cousin got really offended by what I posted, and she replied that money does not buy happiness. So, I replied back that whoever made that comment was clearly poor. Money may not buy happiness, but it sure as heck helps while you are on your journey to find happiness. My post was all in jest, but here I had a family member taking it seriously and arguing with me over the internet about money and happiness.

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I have traveled that journey of finding inner peace and happiness, and my cousin was right that money does not buy happiness because happiness comes from within. However, it has been a proven fact that the lack of money in a person's life is a huge stressor. If one is able to remove that stressor, and if he or she has enough money to pay his or her bills every month, then he or she has eliminated a huge stress in his or her life.

The post I made was a joke. I love Joel Osteen, and I feel he is an amazing minister and teacher. His books have helped me while I was on my journey to finding happiness or a better way of life. However, one person decided to take my post seriously when it was never meant to be taken seriously. I say, "Lighten up!" Life is too short to be taking everything you encounter in life so seriously. Some things are meant to be laughed at. So, lighten up, laugh, and let go once in a while.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

January 11, 2011


Sometimes, I get down, and I start to wonder why the Creator brought me to this world in the first place especially if someone or something comes against me. I will brood, cry, whine, and sulk for days if not weeks at a time. I will beat myself up emotionally telling myself what a horrible person I am especially if someone has issued those types of statments to me.

However, something will happen to make us realize that we are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to other people!

The last month has been very brutal on me emotionally. Two family members came against me with horrible comments which degraded my character. I truly wanted to give up on life, on living, on working, on existing. I wanted to build a bubble and stay in that bubble and never leave my house. However, that is not a rational decision considering that I do need to contribute to my family's bills. So, I received a call to substitute today (a half day), so I put on my big girl panties, and I took the job. It was at a school where I worked six weeks consecutively before Christmas vacation.

As I was standing in the hallway waiting to enter a classroom, the student who I had been working with one-on-one for that six week period saw me and waved to me. He actually looked excited to see me, so I walked over to his locker to ask him how things were going with his new Personal Care Assistant. He told me that everything was going well, and he said he had not gotten into any type of trouble since I had left him. I was thrilled, because this boy was notorious for spending most of his time in the principal's office. Later on that day when speaking to one of the full-time aides at the school, she informed me that this boy misses me a great deal. She stated that he is constantly making comments in his classes that he wishes I was still with him on a daily basis. Another boy told me that he wishes I could be his full-time aide. He looked at his teacher and stated that he thinks I am great.

All this prasie put an end to all those negative feelings I had taken on from the negative attacks from my family members. My family members may not appreciate me, but some of the students of my local Junior High School love me!

So, just remember, when you think that everyone in the world is against you, and you hear yourself making statements such as, "Everyone hates me," or "Nobody loves me," I will guarantee you that there is someone in this world who thinks the world of you!

January 9, 2011 (Late Post)


How often do you smile at the people you see? Are you in such a hurry to your destinations that you do not even pay attention to the people you pass on the street? A smile can brighten everyone's days. If you are having a bad day, your day will get better if you just make it a point to smile. That person you pass on the street might be having a bad time of it, and a smile might make his or her day.

The one person I can think of who smiles all the times is Joel Osteen. While reading his books, I have learned that he has smiled all his life even as a child. He joked in his one book that his basketball coach as well as other people in his life always commented on how he always smiled as a child.

Some of us did not have the upbringing that Joel Osteen had, but that does not matter. Our childhood is in our past, and it does not make us who we are today. Sure it shapes us hopefully into better people, but we are not our pasts. If we can look to the miracle of today and smile, our days can be made better. We might even brighten someone else's day. That smile of yours might be the only good thing that might happen to someone in a given day.

Learn to smile everyday! Each day will get better and brighter the more you smile!

January 7, 2011 (Late Post)


Are you like me? Do you sit around and think about your so-called enemies or people who do not like you? Do you try to change the situation and try to get those people to like you, but you only seem to make things worse? Well, STOP trying!

Five years ago as I was crying over someone walking out of my life, my husband gave me a quote by T.D. Jakes that stated to let it go for 2006! His message was clear that if people walk out of your life just let them go. Don't try to talk them into staying, don't beg them to be your friend, release them because if they do not return they were never attached to you. It clearly was not meant to be.
Well, it is five years later, and I am just now starting to understand this message my husband gave me years ago. In the past year while dealing with my husband's life threatening illness, I have had many friends and family members walk out of my life. They wanted to hear nothing about my husband's illness, and they clearly showed no sympathy for what my family was facing on a daily basis. I even had one family member make the comment, "People have their own lives to live. They cannot be concerned with what you and your family go through on a daily basis." My best friend of 27 years turned her back on me and walked away which truly hurt me because I helped her through so many of life's battles including flying to Florida from Pennsylvania for the funerals of her daughter and father.

As people continued to walk out of my life and show no concern for my husband's battle with cancer, something finally dawned on me!  STOP focusing on those people who do not matter! My main focus and concern had to be on my husband and my son! They are the only two people who I needed to cast my attention! Do not be like me and waste your precious time by focusing on people who do not matter and who will never care about you or the struggles you face. Instead, focus on the people who love you and who you love!

Monday, January 10, 2011

January 6, 2011 (Late Post)


Have you ever found yourself talking yourself out of a goal that you would like to accomplish? I did it several days ago concerning this blog. Something negative occurred in my life, and I started to tell myself how doing this blog was a stupid idea. I told myself that it didn't matter if I posted everyday, because nobody reads my posts. Starting this blog was something I felt the Spirit had asked me to do, but I was trying to convince myself that I need not do it just because of a negative event.

Some of us have a difficult time carrying through with our goals, because we were never encouraged to complete our goals when we were younger. For instance, when I was very young probably first grade, all I ever talked about was becoming a teacher. It's the only thing I spoke about morning, noon, and night. I told everyone I met that I was going to be the first member of my family to attend college. I was excited, and I wanted everyone I encountered to feel my excitement. However, my mother did not share my enthusiasm about attending college. My parents were not wealthy, and I suppose the idea of having to pay for a college education for one of her children frightened my mother. She sat me down at the kitchen table one day, and she told me that she wanted me to stop talking about going to college. She told me that she and my father could not afford to send me to college, and I would get married just like she and my sisters had done. She told me she never wanted to hear me speak about college ever again. So, I never did. I am sure this devastated my father, because he was researching different ways I could attend to college for free. He tried to tell me how if I got good grades I could receive a scholarship which would pay for my entire education. However, after having this discussion with my mother, I did not want to talk about college with my father. I simply told him I had changed my mind, and that I was not going to college.  As the years passed, my mother would shoot down any career choice that I decided upon insisting that I should be a secretary or restaurant worker.

From negative experiences like the one I spoke of above, we learn to create our own limitations within our own minds. Since we were never encouraged as children to go for those goals, we just talk ourselves out of accomplishing what we want in life. Learn to stop limiting yourself because of things that occurred in the past. Look to today and tomorrow and forget yesterday. Learn that you can become who you were meant to be.

Today, I possess an Associates Degree in Business Management. It might not be the degree I had initially wanted as a child, but it is still a college degree. I made up my mind as an adult that I wanted a college education, and I paid for it myself (or am still paying for it myself). One day I may return to school for my Bachelors Degree; however, right now I am more focused on my family.

January 5, 2011 (Late Post)


Maybe, I can make up these four daily posts that I missed out on while dealing with my negative attack and my depression.

So many times in life, we focus on what we don't have instead of what God has already blessed us with. For instance, in the past month, I have been focusing on bills and not having enough money to pay my bills. What I should be focusing on is the fact that there has never been a month that went by where I could not at least make the minimum payment on my bills. Now, that might not be how I would like to do things. I like to pay bills off quickly, so they do not linger over my head for month after month or year after year. However, God is giving me the ability to at least make my monthly payments, so I should be grateful for being able to pay my bills on time.

Once we realize that God gives us what we need when we need it, then we can begin to live a fully blessed life. Don't stress over the small stuff! Learn to calm down and enjoy your life because everything usually falls into place the way it is meant to be. Start focusing on the numerous blessings you already possess in your life!

January 10, 2011


Today will have to be the official day I start over my blog of 365 days of inspirational sayings and blessings! My goal is to post every day consecutively for a whole year. I have been lagging because of some negative forces coming against me, and when negative forces come against me, I have a tendency to shut down from the world. The last thing I want to do is post something positive, because I am too busy being negative. I am sure other people have this problem. Someone will yell at you and will try to damage your character, and instead of ignoring their words or walking away, you listen to their words, you digest their words, then you start believing that their words are true. So you start to condemn yourself even though deep down inside your heart you know that their words are not true. This is what happened to me. I felt I was over the verbal attack two days ago on the 8th; however, I still couldn't bring myself to post anything positive yesterday. I have to make up my mind once and for all. Am I going to follow through with a positive aspect in my life or am I going to allow negative forces to still influence my life. I have come too far in the last year to still allow negative forces to have a say in my life. I need to pull myself up by the bootstraps and keep marching forward.

So, I lost four days worth of posts because of a negative force. Instead of dwelling on the posts I missed, I will have to concentrate on not allowing it to happen again, and I need to make a decision to not allow any type of negative force keep me from my goal. Isn't that how life usually turns out. You are on a path, and you know what you want to accomplish. However, someone gets in the way. They will either tell you how what you are doing is a waste of time, or it will never pan out or they will attack your character. I say, "Don't listen to them!" I have had so many people tell me that I would never accomplish my goals, and each time those people have been wrong because I accomplished my goals and thensome! It might not happen overnight, but it eventually turns out.

Don't even entertain negative forces or negative words. Build a stronghold around your heart and your emotions and don't let the negativity penetrate your soul!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Janurary 8, 2011

"Don't let negative forces get you down!"

I am going to have to start over my 365 days of inspirational sayings. Three days ago, I had a negative force come against me, and it set me back. I took two days to cry, and a day to get sick from the stress of the negative attack. I have to take my own advice that I posted on January 1, and that is to rid my life of negative forces. This past year has taken it's toll on me emotionally, and it seems like the more negative forces come against me, I suppose it is getting a little easier to deal with. For instance, last year when my best friend attacked my spirit, it took me six months to get over her walking out of my life. Last month when a family member came against me, it took me two weeks to get over his verbal attack. Now, it is only taking me two or three days to get over a verbal attack.

What is it that Rocky said, "It's not how hard you get hit, but how you get up and keep moving forward." Or something like that. I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep moving forward. This is similar to what Jesus said as well, "If people do not accept you in one town, dust off your feet and move on to the next town".

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

January 4, 2011

"Make memories every single day!"

No matter how dull you might think your life is, you have the capability to make memories every single day. Making memories is as easy as starting a conversation with your child while driving him or her to school in the morning. I know my son and husband are natural comedians, so taking a drive anywhere with either of them is usually a joyful occasion. They can have me in stitches about something as simple as the weather or a tv show.

You can learn to make memories while cooking dinner in the evenings. Instead of your children being glued to the tv set, invite them into the kitchen to help you prepare the meal. Sit down as a family and eat together. Ask your child what he or she learned in school that day. Ask your spouse how his or her day was at work, or if they are at home all day, inquire how their day went anyway. During dinner, don't be afraid to turn off the cellphone or computer. Get engaged with your family. Have the family help clean up after dinner and sit down together and play a board game or a computer game.

One doesn't need a holiday, birthday, or huge celebration in order to make lasting memories. Lasting memories can be made on a daily basis as long as you have the people with you that you love. Go make a memory!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Jaunuary 3, 2011

"Stop wishing for tomorrow and learn to enjoy today!"

So many people are constantly looking to the future that they forget to enjoy the time they are blessed with right here and now. Friends and family are always saying, "I can't wait till next week or next month. I can't wait till we get to go on that vacation. All we have to do is get through the next few months then life will be better."

What about today? People are so hung up on looking at tomorrow that they forget to live today. How do we know that tomorrow will get here? We are never promised tomorrow. We are only promised today....right here and right now. Don't spend your entire life looking at tomorrow that today passes you by without you even realizing it. Enjoy what your life has to offer you today! Each day is a blessing, and it is our decision how we spend our time each of those days.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

January 2, 2011

"Enjoy the simple things that life has to offer!"

So many people get caught up in the big, fancy houses, the luxury model cars, the high-paying jobs, the elaborate job or career titles, but they forget about the important aspect of life...the simple things! They are too busy making a living, and they forget to actually live their lives. Their child walks by them in the morning on his or her way to the kitchen to make himself or herself breakfast, and as the child passes his or her parent the child says, "Good morning mom or dad. I love you." The parent responds, "Yeah, yeah, hurry up and go get your breakfast. We are running late. I have a big meeting this morning." The child saunters into the kitchen heartbroken because all he or she wants is love in return. The simple things! The important things! Watch a child and see how he or she can get lost in play for hours at a time. Boys playing with their G.I. Joe toys, and girls playing with their Barbie dolls. They are so content and happy, and they need nothing else in their lives at that particular point. The simple things.

Enjoy the sunrise in the morning as you are having a piping, hot cup of coffee or tea (or whatever beverage or morning breakfast item you prefer). Enjoy the sunshine as it heats your face as you walk to your car or the crisp, fresh briskness of a fall or winter morning. Enjoy your loved ones laughter and their smiles. Take time to hug the ones you love and tell them that you love them. When someone speaks to you....listen to what they have to say. How many people ask you how you are and you simply reply "Good. How are you?" But you are truly not listening. You are trying to hurry to your next destination. Enjoy the sunset on your drive home from work at night. Enjoy the clouds, the rain, the flowers, the trees. Enjoy what nature has to offer.

Several years ago, my family was supposed to move to Denver, Colorado. We were excited for a change in our lives. This was a huge opportunity for my husband to grow in his company. We planned a trip to Denver to look for a home, and when we first arrived, my husband, son, and I were deeply disappointed in the scenery. Denver was brown. There was no grass, or greenery, and the rocky mountains looked like jagged, sharp, rocky peaks hence their name. To some, Denver is a beautiful part of the country; however, this scenery did not appeal to us. We quickly missed our green grass and green mountain ranges of the Appalachian Mountains. We decided to stay in Pennsylvania, and my husband took a different job within his company. From that day forward, we look at our natural scenery in a whole new light. We no longer take our mountains for granted, but we look upon them with awe and wonder.

Enjoy the simple things in life! To God these things are not simple, but elaborate, beautiful creations He created for our enjoyment! Start enjoying the simple things the world has to offer.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

January 1, 2011

"Rid your life of negative forces."

I believe this will be my New Year's resolution! Remove the negative forces from your life! Remove the drama and the games. Remove the negative thoughts that play over and over again within your mind. Remove the negative naysayers who are always trying to sabotage your dreams. We all have these negative forces in our lives, and it is our decision what part, if any, these forces play in our lives.

Two weeks before Christmas, I had a few negative forces come against my family and me. Blaming me for things in which I had no control over. Telling me that I should divorce my husband. At first, I was stunned, hurt, and appalled that after the stressful year my family had been through that someone would verbally attack me right before the holidays and voice their opinion that I should leave my husband. However, most families are blessed with a few negative forces like the ones my family just had to deal with. After a few days of crying, self-doubt, and depression, I decided not to allow these negative forces any more power over me!

These negative forces fiend off other people's misery! They want you to be unhappy and miserable because they cannot find happiness of their own. Well, I say, DON'T ALLOW THEM TO HAVE THEIR WAYS! Stand up to them and show them that they are not going to rain on your parade! Live your life, be happy, and realize that we only have what is given to us right now! So smile and be merry and live your life to the fullest!

Rid your life of the negative forces who want to destroy your happiness!

365 Days of Inspirational Messages

2010 was probably the most stressful year of my life. My husband fought for his life due to stomach and esophageal cancer. He underwent chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and he had major surgery to remove his stomach and esophagus. By the end of 2010, my husband's cancer was gone, but 2010 had changed our family in ways I never dreamed. My husband and I are now closer than ever before in our past. Our main priority is happiness for ourselves and our son.

I am determined that 2011 will be the BEST year and most positive year of our lives. I am undertaking this project in order to remind myself on a daily basis that our blessings are numerous and that there is more positive in the world than negative! Each day I will attempt to post a new inspirational message or saying. Let's get started!