Saturday, April 30, 2011

April 30, 2011

"GIVE YOURSELF A SIGN OF LOVE!"

While reading the book, The Power, by Rhonda Byrne, I learned a new way of reminding myself that I am loved. Rhonda suggests that you give yourself a secret symbol that only you know that will remind you when you see it that you are loved by many in this universe. It could be anything from an animal, a plant, a rainbow, a color; anything you want it to be. My sign of love is a butterfly! Anytime I see a butterfly or a picture of a butterfly, I remind myself that I am loved! This process usually makes me smile. 

Sometimes, we forget that we are loved. Sometimes, life throws us many curve balls, and we may find ourselves thinking that not only are people against us, but the entire universe is against us. However, this type of thinking is wrong, because there are many people in this universe who love us dearly. If you do not believe me, then take a look back through your life and think about all the people who truly love you. It might be your parents, your spouse, your child, your siblings, or maybe it wasn't anyone in your family at all. Maybe,  it was a teacher who gave you extra help in school or a coach who never gave up on you. These people may not be involved in your life right now, but I bet if you ran into them in a public place that they would remember who you are. 

I know this may sound like a corny thing to do to give yourself a symbol as a sign of love in your life, but I can vouch that this exercise truly works. Every time I see a butterfly, I remind myself that there are at least two people in my life who love me with all their hearts and they are my husband and my son. Give it a try! Give yourself a secret sign and every time you see it say, "I know I am loved!" 

April 29, 2011

"BE AWARE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S MOODS!"

Have you ever noticed that when you get around certain people your mood starts to change? Sometimes, if you are feeling down, and you are around someone who is naturally cheerful that you may start to feel happy; or if you are happy and you get around someone who is grumpy or naturally negative then you start to feel down and sad. Always be aware of other people's moods, because they can rub off on you!

Today while working with this new girl, I noticed that she seemed sad and not as cheerful as she had been the day before. She was snapping at questions I would ask her instead of replying pleasantly like she was yesterday. After several classes of dealing with this melancholy girl, I noticed that I was starting to get grumpy. When I felt my cheerful mood changing, I knew that it was a result of this girl's negativity. While walking to her locker, I asked her what was wrong. At first she did not know what I was talking about, so I explained to her that she seemed sad and she seemed like she wasn't in a good mood like yesterday. She explained to me that she has trouble with depression, and she takes medication for her condition; however, today she failed to take her medication before coming to school.

Once I realized what was making this girl sad that it was a medical condition, I changed my mood back to being cheerful, and it seemed to lift the girl's spirits, and she seemed to be happy for the rest of the school day. Other people's moods either positive or negative can have an effect on us. Always be aware of the moods of other people! If you know that someone is naturally negative, it will take more effort on your own part to remain happy while being in their presence.

April 28, 2011

"ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS GRACEFULLY!"

How many times do people give you a compliment and instead of saying thank you, you simply blow it off, or you tell the person that what you may have done was not important? In the past, it was very hard for me to accept a compliment. Sometimes, I did not even recognize when people were complimenting me. I have naturally been very hard on myself most of my life. In the last few years, I have tried to learn to accept compliments gracefully!

When someone gives you a compliment, they are telling you that you did a good job at something or that they appreciate you in some way. You might be thinking, "Well, how do I accept a compliment, because I never know what to say when someone offers me praise?" The only thing you need to say is, "Thank you!"

Just today when I was working with a girl I had never worked with at the local Junior High School, I found myself being bombarded with compliments about how well of a job I was doing. Now, I have received compliments at this school in the past, but it seemed like everyone I spoke to including this young girl was praising me that I would be a good match to work with this young girl one-on-one on a daily basis. These compliments boosted my confidence, because I have been trying to get a full-time position with our local public school district for the last year. However, most of the time, they fill the positions internally rather than hiring a new person to save on the budget. Being passed over time and time again for a full-time job, can be very hard to deal with. Today, I found myself thanking everyone who was giving me positive praise.

Learn to accept compliments gracefully! Sometimes, it takes other people to tell us what a good job we are doing for us to believe that we are good at what we do. Say thank you when praise comes your way!

April 27, 2011

"RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT!"

Do you really give yourself enough credit for what you are good at in life? Most of us go through life focusing more on what we cannot do or on what we have trouble doing than on what we excel at. For example, when I was going through school, Algebra was not my strong subject. I struggled through that subject, and the only way I received good grades in my two Algebra classes were by working my butt off and by having examples in front of me all the time. Now that I work with children of all ages, I sometimes find myself having to help Junior High School students with Algebra problems. Since this was never one of my strong subjects, I tend to be hard on myself if I do not grasp the lesson which may be assigned on a given day when working at the Junior High School. However, instead of being so hard on myself for struggling with certain aspects of this class, I need to give myself credit for the areas in which I excel in.

Just the other day, the students were assigned a worksheet for homework in Algebra. During the one study hall, all the students were working on their assignment with the help of myself, another aide, and a substitute teacher. Well, the one problem had everyone stumped except for me! I could not believe that I was understanding a problem that an aide (who had given me a hard time a few weeks earlier for not understanding different aspects of the subject) and a substitute teacher could not even figure out. I was so proud of myself when I had to explain to this aide how to get the answer.

I am slowly learning to look at what I am good at in life. There may be different things that I may be good at that someone else may struggle with. Instead of being so hard on myself when I encounter something that does not come easily to me, I need to refocus my thoughts on what I excel at. Recognize what you are good at!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

April 26, 2011

"THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE ARE NOT THINGS!"

How many times have you heard this saying in the past? I have seen this phrase many times in a variety of different places including facebook walls to classroom walls. This saying is extremely important, because it reminds us that materialistic objects are not nearly as important as we make them. The things which are the most important in our lives should not be "things" at all!

The most important things in our lives should be the people we are closest to which may be your spouse, children, siblings, parents, or anyone you find dear to your heart. How many times do we take our loved ones for granted? How many times do we put more value on materialistic objects than we put on the people who should matter the most? Sometimes, we strive to buy that perfect car or house, so we work extended hours to make more money to be able to afford such luxuries. Maybe you work two or three jobs using up every spare hour of your days to afford those expensive items that you would otherwise not be able to afford. Meanwhile, our family and friends need to do without us during special events, evenings, or weekends, because we are too busy working to make extra money to buy stuff that will eventually break down or wear out. The most important asset that we can invest is our time to the people who we love and who love us back.

So much valuable time is wasted, because we place more worth on objects than we do our family and friends. Our loved ones become second, third, or fourth in our lives. Now, I totally understand that people need to work in order to make a living in order to support his or her family. However, all your precious time does not have to be devoted to work while your loved ones are sitting back wishing for more time to spend with you. What are your main priorities in life? The most important things in our lives should never be called "things."

Monday, April 25, 2011

April 25, 2011

"LET PEOPLE MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS!"

How many times in life do we feel that we know what is best for another person? Do you ever find yourself saying, "If I were you, I would do this or that". The fact of the matter is we are not that other person, and we may not know what is good for that other person. However, there are exceptions such as raising children and teenagers. They will need guidance from a loving adult in making important decisions throughout their life. However, certain people like our grown, adult friends and family members may not need us telling them how to live their lives every day of the year. Let these people make their own decisions in life.

I used to work at a juvenile detention center, and there was one thing the employees were forbidden to do, and that was give the residents advice. My supervisors explained to me that we might think we are doing a good deed by offering the residents advice; however, if our advice failed, then the residents would look down on us and would blame us for giving out advice which did not work. We taught the residents that they had to be the ones who made the proper decisions in life. The choices they had made up to this point in their lives had not worked, because they were locked up away from society. We as staff members were allowed to provide the resident with different life skills or scenarios that might work in different situations, but we were never allowed to give advice.

How many times do we offer people advice when they truly do not want the advice. We feel compelled to offer up our opinion when our opinion may not be welcome in our friend's life. We might think that we mean well, but if someone does not specifically ask us for our advice then there is a huge chance that they might want to work out things on their own. Don't be afraid to take a step back and allow our loved ones to make their own decisions in life.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

April 24, 2011

"GOD IS LOVE!"

Today is Easter Sunday! Sometimes, I find myself dreading the holidays, because my mother seems extremely impossible to get along with. She lives way too much in the past for me, she wallows in self-pity, and she expects everyone to feel sorry for her even though she has no wants for anything in life. Do you ever find yourself dreading certain events because of the people who will be in attendance? My mom is a huge energy drainer. You can be in the best of moods, but within five minutes of being in her presence, you will be pissed off, angry, and ready to throw daggers. How do I get through this day? I have to remember that God is love!

On this day many years ago, Jesus came back to life after being crucified and placed in a tomb. Jesus is the best example of how we are supposed to live our lives, and on many occasions, he told people to love one another. There just always seems to be that one person who is difficult to love. How do we get through these difficult periods?

My mother wasn't in my home today for more than two minutes, and she had me snapping at her. She was insistent about using the bathroom, but my husband was taking a shower. She insisted on using our spare bathroom; however, there was something I needed to do before she could use the second bathroom. She immediately got angry with me and started snapping at me to forget it and never mind, because I was in the middle of basting the ham, and I refused to drop what I was doing at that exact moment to tend to her needs. All she needed to do was wait one minute till I was finished, but she insisted on making a big deal. That little incident ruined the rest of the day. My mother refused to sit with the rest of the family in the living room after dinner. She hibernated in my computer room and on my deck.

Maybe, in the future, I can let Jesus be more of an example for me. I need to remember that God is love, and I need to be more patient with my very demanding mother. Even though I refuse to feel sorry for her, because she chooses to live her life the way she wants to live it; I can remember that God loves her just like he loves me. Maybe, I can learn to pray before spending time with her and ask God to provide me with a little more patience when dealing with her. I have to keep telling myself that God is Love!

April 23, 2011

"TAKE TIME FROM YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO ENJOY WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER!"

Today I was busy all morning and into the early afternoon cleaning the house for our small gathering that would happen tomorrow for the Easter Holiday. Even though my family was only expecting two additional people to celebrate the festivities of the day, I had to be sure the house was in order. My husband and son left before lunchtime to pick up the few remaining items on our grocery list. Around two o'clock the telephone rang while I was still cleaning, and my husband told me to get ready because we were going to go out for lunch. Now, I could have gotten all bent out of shape and told him that I was too busy to stop to go have lunch outside the home. However, I told him that I would be ready to go when he and my son returned home. Learn to take time out of your busy day in order to enjoy what life brings your way!

Today was a gorgeous day in the mid 70's, and it truly was too beautiful of a day to spend it cooped up in the house cleaning all day. I loved every minute of the time I spent with my family while we drove to the foot of the mountain where one of our favorite diners is located. The mountains were gorgeous against the backdrop of the deep, blue sky. The trees have just recently started to sprout sprigs of green. Not only was I enjoying my time with my family, but I was also enjoying the warmth in the air and the beauty of nature surrounding me.

Don't get so caught up in the mundane, dreary activities that may be robbing you of experiencing fun and joy in your everyday life. Had I gotten uptight and told my family that I didn't want to go out for lunch, I would have missed out on special time with my loved ones. Learn to slow down and enjoy what life has to offer!

April 22, 2011

"LET JESUS BE AN EXAMPLE!"

Today is Good Friday, but how many people really slow down and think about what this day is truly about. Jesus died on this day many years ago to save us all from our sins. I look back at the Bible stories about how Jesus never tried to defend himself. He allowed his enemies to crucify him for a crime he did not commit. However, he knew what he was capable of in life, during death, and after his resurrection. Jesus knew who he was! Let Jesus be an example to all of us!

How many times in life do we stumble through our days wondering who we are? Have you ever made the comment, "I am trying to find myself"? Sometimes, people spend their entire lives miserable, because they have no clue who they really are. Once you figure out that Jesus resides within you, and you are one with Him, life gets so much more enjoyable day by day.

Once we figure out who we are in Christ, we no longer have to try to prove our worth to other people who may or may not matter. We finally start to feel comfortable in our own skin. We no longer look down upon ourselves, or think that we may be less of value than our neighbor, our sibling, or anyone else we may have been competing with over the years. We recognize that we no longer have to "try" to get others to like us, because we will be able to recognize who loves us for who we already are. Jesus can be a wonderful example to us all! May He bring peace, joy, and happiness to you!

April 21, 2011

"LET GOD FIX WHAT YOU CANNOT!"

So many times in life we try to fix things that only God can fix. I am the type of person who likes to be in control of things at all times. This can turn into a huge control issue. There are things that we may face that no matter what we do we will not be able to fix. We can plead, beg, and cry, but nothing we do will make the matter better. In these types of scenarios, we need to let God fix what we cannot!

It is amazing what might happen if you take a step back and watch God in action. Recently, I had to do this with a few issues in my own life, and a peace entered into my life that I have not felt in quite a while. Issues will still come up, but you will find yourself reacting in a much more positive manner than what you may have reacted in the past. What you thought was important might not be as important now.

If you find yourself facing the same issues over and over in your life, it might be a good idea to let God take control. Carrie Underwood has a song called, Jesus Take the Wheel, it is about a woman almost getting in a car accident, but she calls out for Jesus to take the wheel. That is what we need to do! We need to let God fix the things that only He can control.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

April 20, 2011

"REACT POSITIVELY!"

How many times do you kick yourself in the butt because of the way you have reacted to a situation? How many times do you tell yourself that you should have done or said something differently? Maybe you should have said nothing and walked away, or maybe you should have said something instead of remaining silent. Sometimes, our emotions and feelings get the better of us, and we sometimes react to situations in anger or many other negative ways. Learning to react positively in high pressure situations is a lifelong journey, but it is one that can be mastered.

In the past if someone made me angry, usually by saying or doing something that I did not like, I would always voice my opposition. I had no problem letting the person who offended me know that they were wrong, or that I felt that they were wrong. I would not care how I got my opinion across, either via phone call, letter, email, or text message, but I would tell the other person repeatedly that they were wrong. Most of the times, my words would fall on def ears, and this would make me react in more negative ways.

Looking back, I am not sure why I had to react so negatively when someone would disagree with me, or I disagreed with them. For some reason, I always had to be right, and when I wasn't, I would react negatively. Through the years, I have learned that the way I was reacting was causing quite a bit of turmoil and unhappiness in my life. I came to the conclusion that I needed to change how I react to certain situations, and I truly think I am growing in that area of my life.

Yesterday I received a letter in the mail that in the past would have set me off, and I would have called the individual who sent it and would have given her a piece of my mind. However, I simply read the letter, understood what the person was trying to say, and threw it in the trash. I did not get angry. I did not call anyone and  yell at them. I simply did not give it any more thought. I am growing and learning to react to situations in a more positive manner.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

April 19, 2011

"PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES!"

"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" Matthew 5:44.

This may be one of the most difficult scriptures from the Bible to follow. To actually think about sending out loving thoughts and prayers to people who hate you and who constantly find fault with you, is mind boggling. However, Jesus did this all the time. He asked God to forgive those who despised him. Even while he was on the cross, he asked God to forgive those who crucified him. That is an amazing feat to be able to accomplish, but Jesus is an amazing man. Love and pray for your enemies and adversaries!

How many times do you get consumed by negative thoughts about people who have come against you and who have brought harmful situations into your life? How many hours of each of your days do you devote to wanting to get revenge against these foes? If you sit down and think about your situation, these people who once brought hurt into your life probably are no longer even present in your life. They have moved on, and they are living their own happy, little existence while you brood and pine on the past. You are sacrificing your happiness for a situation that may have happened yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, or possibly years ago. Your enemies have moved on, so why don't you?

Any time you start thinking negatively against someone who has hurt you in the past, immediately start praying for that individual. Get into the habit of changing your thoughts into positive thoughts instead of dwelling on the hurts that someone may have caused you. There is nothing that you can do to change that hurt. It is over and done with, so learn to get over past hurts.

Dear Lord: Please bless all those people in my past you may have once hurt me either physically or emotionally. Please bless all those who do not understand me and who refuse to give me a chance. Please bless all those people who do not accept me for who I am. Please bless anyone who speaks evil against me. Lord, please help me to forgive all these adversaries. I pray peace and blessings to everyone. Amen.

Monday, April 18, 2011

April 18, 2011

"EMBRACE A NEW WAY OF LIFE!"

If what you have been doing up to this point in your life has not been working out for you, then try doing things differently. If you have been trying to fit in to a group who has not accepted you in the past 21 years, it is pretty safe to say that they never will accept you, so maybe it is time to go in a new direction. It might be time to start focusing your attention on this day that God has blessed you with. Each day is a new beginning, so make today the day you embrace a new way of living your life.

Sometimes, we focus too much on the past, and we get caught up in the habit of continuing to do things in the same exact ways that we always have done. When we do this, we will always get the same results. If we do not like the results we keep getting, then I think it is probably time to change how we do things.

There are aspects of my own life which need changing. I will keep at the same battle for an extended period of time which is usually way too long, then I will just change directions and refocus my thoughts on those who matter in my life. Did you know that whenever you are focusing on negative people who have come against you that you are giving those people power? You are allowing them to control you. They may not even be near you or even in the same town as you, but they are controlling your thoughts and your life without even being present in your life. Allowing this type of power in your life is a negative influence you do not need, so learning to change this type of thinking will be a huge benefit for your well-being. Embrace a new way of life which could simply be a new way of thinking and watch your life change for the better.

April 17, 2011

"LISTEN TO THOSE WHO LOVE YOU!"

Yesterday was a day of melancholy, and today was a day of anger and bitterness. I went from feeling sorry for myself, because my family never gets invited to extended family functions, to the feelings of irritation to all those who refuse to include my family into their lives. Shouldn't my husband's family include him in family celebrations after his recent battle with his illness? One would think that if something was going to wake up a group of people, cancer should surely get the job done. However, this has never happened, and these people's lack of concern has left me bitter and angry. In our darkest hour, we need to listen to those who love us the most.

My husband and son reassured me in the midst of my bad day that they love me with all their hearts, and what other people think should not matter. These words should soon be sinking into my thick skull, because I have been reading self-help and inspirational books for this purpose for a very long time. When I allow other people to influence my moods, it puts a wedge between myself and my husband and son. These bad moods rob me of good times with my family, because I am so involved with my negative thoughts that I cannot focus on having a good time at the present moment. I am too busy being angry at people who do not even know that I am ticked off at them. They came into my life for a brief moment to destroy a little more of my self-esteem, then they go off and continue to live their happy little lives while laughing and making jokes about how they ripped me down once again. It seems that once people realize you have a low self-esteem, you will forever be a target for their attacks unless you decide to put an end to such negative behavior that comes into your life.

How do you stop these attacks? You cut off all contact with these people who cause you such hurt in your life. I know this can be a difficult task, because you will always think of something you feel you need to say to these people. When you feel the urge to contact these people, find something else to occupy your time. If you feel the need to write them an email, a text message, or to call them, do something different with your time. I have to realize these people do not care what I have to say, so I need to stop trying to convince them that I am a good person. You should never have to try to convince others that they should be your friend. If people do not accept you for who you are, then you do not need those people in your life.

Pay attention to and listen to those people who have already accepted you for who you are. These people should be the only ones who truly matter. They are the ones who love you unconditionally, so do not take their love for granted. Listen to those who love you!

April 16, 2011

"IF YOU FEEL ALONE, TURN TO GOD!"

Today I awoke in a not so pleasant mood. I am not sure if it is the gloomy, rainy weather which has me in a melancholy mood or the upcoming Easter Holiday which will have my family celebrating alone once again. Whatever happened to extended family gatherings with aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, nieces, and nephews? Two years ago, I walked away from my mother's side of the family due to incessant drama. It always seemed that someone was constantly dragging me into their soap opera lives. After a niece had taken one of my emails and used the contents out of context against me with my siblings, I decided to walk away from the unnecessary drama the family was always bringing into my life.

As I have stated in previous posts, my husband's family has always misunderstood me, so since it is extremely apparent, even after my husband's life threatening illness, that they will never accept me into their side of the family, I will have to walk away from them as well and stop trying to be part of a group who never wanted me to be part of their lives in the first place. These events have taken a toll on me, and there are times I feel very alone. I need to remember that if I ever feel alone, I need to turn to God, because we are never alone with Him by our side. God is always there for us in our time of need.

If you are like me and you feel alone in this world, even if you have a loving spouse and children, or if you feel like the rest of the world is against you, there is always One you can turn to, and that is God. No matter what time of day it is, God will always be there to listen to your problems. If you feel like all your friends and family members have turned their backs on you, you will always have a friend and Father in God. God will never turn his back on you. He is your lifetime friend if you choose to turn to Him. He will never force Himself into your life, because He wants us to turn to Him and to ask Him for His help. If you find yourself feeling alone like I do many times, learn to turn to God and ask Him to guide you through this life!

April 15, 2011

"ENJOY ADDED INCENTIVES!"

Today I was working at an elementary school, and the teachers planned a "fun day" for all the students who scored an outstanding on their behavior grade for the last nine weeks. For the last hour of the school day, these students participated in an awards ceremony, and they were treated to organized games on the playground. While observing these children play on this beautiful, spring day, it occurred to me that several of the children were not having a good time. One little girl actually got angry when she had to participate in a game of kickball. Then it dawned on me that I probably would have been one of those children who would have dreaded that afternoon of organized sports.

How many times in our lifetime do we dread added incentives. I was never one who did very well in sports including physical education class, so any added incentive which included sports would have been drudgery for me. I look back at my work years, and I can now see how I never wanted to be involved in any type of group activity outside the work environment. Instead of focusing on something positive, I always dreaded attending extracurricular activities even though at the end of the event it would usually turn out that I had a good time.

Learn to find the positive or the silver lining when it comes to added incentives. These events are created to make an individual feel better about himself or herself. It is to let them know they did a good job. Schools and businesses give their students and employees added incentives to show appreciation for a job well done. Even if sports is not your thing, find something to be grateful for during the event. For instance, be happy that you are outside enjoying the beauty nature has to offer on a beautiful spring day. Enjoy added incentives because they are given to bring joy into our lives.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

April 14, 2011

"TELL THE TRUTH!"

Recently I just realized why some people may get highly offended at me. I will tell them the truth opposed to telling them what they may want to hear. Sometimes, people will pose a question; however, they really do not want to hear the truth. They want to hear what they have already preplanned within their own mind. Some version of the truth but sugar-coated, so the truth does not make them look bad. Sometimes, when people pose a question, they want the person they are asking to accept the blame for what they may be inquiring, and when this may not happen, the person asking the question may become irate and angry if the answer reflects any negativity back to them. Tell the truth anyway!

Recently two family members asked me why my husband does not associate with the family. I bluntly told them that no one from the family was there for him when he was going through his chemotherapy and radiation treatments. This truth offended these two family members. The one family member screamed at me to not throw cancer in his face. The other person blamed me for my husband not associating. Neither family member wanted to accept the fact that my husband was very offended by none of his family members visiting him while he was ill. This proves that it is easier to cast blame than it is for one to face his or her own guilty conscience.

If you truly do not want to hear the truth when you pose a question, then I would suggest to keep your question to yourself. Do not ask it! Sometimes we think we know the answers to certain things, but in actuality, we have no idea how another person may feel or how they think. When someone asks you a question, do not be rude, but tell them the truth. I personally feel that society has become too politically correct, and sometimes, we need to be told the truth. The truth will set you free!

April 13, 2011

"USE YOUR PROBLEMS IN ORDER TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON!"

Did you ever sit back and view your problems? How many of your problems are true issues? Many of the things that we think are problems in our lives are temporary inconveniences. With each problem, comes a learning experience, and it is up to us to either learn from the problem and become a better person, or we can let the so-called problem ruin our day. If you have your health and everyone you love has their health, most of the problems we think we have are not as bad as what we make them within our own minds. Use these problems to become a better person!

I look back on my so-called problems in my past, and I now realize that what I called problems were not problems at all. It was my perception of the issue at hand which made it much worse than what it had to be. For instance, one time my car broke down, and I had to invest in a new engine. This was a horrible set-back for my family. At the time, I was probably stressed out and panicked and down-right worried about how I was going to pay for the bill even though at the time I had enough money in my savings account to cover the costs of the repairs. My perception of the issue was out of whack, because this was simply a temporary inconvenience not a problem.

Learn from the problems that you face in life. We can get bent out of shape each time we are faced with a crisis, or we can learn to handle each situation in a more civilized manner. My husband has been a true mentor for me in this area of my life; he remains cool, calm, and collected when faced with an issue. He has always said to me, "Will it matter a week from now, a month from now, or even a year from now?" The answer is usually no, so why get upset today for a minor inconvenience. Learn to use your problems in order to become a better person.

April 12, 2011

  " LOOK FOR THE SIGNS THAT GOD IS SPEAKING TO YOU!"

God has all kinds of ways to speak to us if we would just open up and become receptive to what He is trying to tell us. God has ways of using different people to speak to us, or He may use objects to speak to us. However, one must be awake in order to see the signs that God is trying to show us. For instance, when my family was traveling back and forth to the hospital last summer for my husband's radiation and chemotherapy treatments, everyday I would pass cars on the highway with Tennessee license plates. Now, some people might not think that this was anything special. We were traveling on a major highway that runs the length of the East Coast. However, we are nearly six hours away from Tennessee, and I felt it was extremely odd to see that many Tennessee license plates on a Pennsylvania highway. I seriously believe that God has been calling my family to move to Tennessee for a very long time.

God will also use different people to bring us a message that He wants us to hear. For instance, one day I might be feeling down and depressed. Then at the exact right moment, one of my Facebook friends will post an inspiring message saying how special each one of us are on this planet. The telephone might ring, and it might be your best friend calling just because you have been weighing very heavily on his or her mind. Maybe, your spouse calls you in the middle of your day just to tell you how much he or she loves you.

God has a way of lifting our spirits at the exact right moment. God speaks to us using all kinds of methods; however, we need to keep our eyes open and realize when He is trying to get our attention. God will never force us into a relationship with Him. That is why He gave us free will, but if we look for His signs and communicate with Him on a daily basis, it will become easier to know when God is trying to say something. Look for the signs, because God is speaking to you!                                                                                                                                                                      

April 11, 2011

"SOMETIMES IT IS BETTER TO DO NOTHING!"

Do you have a problem in your life that you keep trying to fix, but everything you do to try to make the situation better seems to make the problem worse? Do you feel damned if you do or damned if you don't? Do you feel that certain people view everything you do in a negative manner regardless of what you try to accomplish with good intentions? This is very true for some people. No matter how hard you try to please them, no matter how hard you try to "fit in" to their group, your efforts are made in vain. There are times in life when you are not going to be able to do anything to fix some problems or to try to get certain people to accept you. Sometimes, the best thing we could do is give the situation to God and do nothing at all.

Sometimes, we have to determine when we need to stop trying to fix things on our own. Some people are so stubborn that we only make ourselves look like fools when we keep trying to fix an issue that "they" do not want fixed. Some people love holding grudges. I do believe that it is an extracurricular activity for some. So do not spend a good amount of your time trying to convince these people that you are trying to fix an old issue. If they are not willing to accept you or are unwilling to accept your apology, there will be nothing you can do to convince them otherwise.

Focus on the people in your life who already accept you. Stop trying to fix something if the other party wants to have nothing to do with the fixing of the issue or possibly even you. I had to be told point blank to stop trying to be part of my husband's family. For 21 years, I tried to fix what I thought that I had broken over the years. Little did I know that they never had any intentions of ever accepting me into their side of the family. All I can do now is accept the fact that I tried to be friends with them, but there was nothing I could do to change their already preconceived ideas of me, and everything I did do to try to fix the issues only made the matters worse. So, I need to do nothing now! I am turning it all over to God, I will let Him fix the issues, and I am going to do nothing!

April 10, 2011

"NEVER GIVE UP!"

It is nearly impossible for me to keep this blog up-to-date. Today I blew out my back, so I was laid up on my recliner with a heating pad on my back all day long in severe agony. One little wrong movement, and I am laid up for days at a time. In the past, I have neglected this blog for as long as a week, and I would have to play catch up. The one thing I am doing is not giving up!

Wouldn't it be easier for me to say that life is too busy to keep up with such a silly idea as writing a blog. It would not be that hard to ignore my blog entirely and never come back to it. However, at the beginning of the year, I said that I would write a post for each day of the year, so that is what I am doing.

No matter what you are facing in life, do not give up. Keep pressing forward. Keep taking one step at a time. So, here I am once again trying to play catch up and trying to become inspired enough to write four more blogs to get caught up to today. I will not give up! I will keep pressing forward.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

April 9, 2011

"COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND BE GRATEFUL!"

Sometimes life can become extremely stressful, and it can become very easy to focus on the negative aspects of our lives than on our blessings. This past year has taught my family that life itself is a blessing, and we have learned that we need to be grateful every day of our lives. My husband has taught me that everything we receive in life is a gift. We can go through life miserable, sad, and depressed which I did for many years, or we can learn to be happy and enjoy each of our days. It may be difficult to count our blessings each day, but I can guarantee you that you have at least one thing everyday that you can be grateful for.

I used to have a friend on facebook who was a miserable person, and he was determined to make all his online friends as miserable as he was. Every post he put on his wall was negative, gloomy, and downright depressing. Everyday I found myself trying to pull this guy out of his doldrums. I would explain to him that if he was breathing, and if he had his health, that he had so much to be grateful for. He would reply with a, "Yeah, right!" I would try to explain to him how my husband was diagnosed with cancer, and he never once complained about anything that he had to go through whether it be chemotherapy or radiation treatments or his major surgery. There was nothing I could say that would change this online friend's point of view. I suddenly realized that he did not want to change his way of thinking. He was getting people's pity, and this is what he wanted. He wanted people to feel sorry for him because of his recent divorce. He did not want to see any blessings even though he had many blessings right in front of him face which were his three healthy children, but he did not want to hear anything anyone had to say. Unfortunately, I eventually had to delete this man from my profile. His negativity was bringing me down, and I could not deal with his depression while trying to help my husband heal from a life-threatening illness.

If you wake up in the morning, you have something to be grateful for, and you are truly blessed! If you sat down and counted your blessings, you might be surprised at how many blessings you have been given each day. If you live in the United States of America, that is a huge blessing, because you are living in one of the best countries in the world. If you have a roof over your head, otherwise known as a home, you are blessed. If you have food in your refrigerator and fresh water to drink, you are blessed. If you have clothing to wear, you are blessed. My list could go on all night, but I think you get the picture. You might not live in your dream house or might not drive the car you really want, but if you have your health and people in your life who love you for who you are, you are truly blessed. Count your blessings everyday and be grateful for what God has already blessed you with!

April 8, 2011

"CELEBRATE THE HURDLES THAT YOU OVERCOME IN YOUR LIFETIME!"

Today, my husband is cancer-FREE for one year! One year ago today, I was sitting with my son and three of my husband's siblings in the surgical waiting room at the Hershey Medical Center stressed out of my mind not knowing what the outcome of my husband's major surgery was going to be. His surgery was more dangerous than open heart surgery, plus I had the memory of my Dad passing away on this day 12 years earlier. Imagine having your husband or any close family member having major surgery on the anniversary of another loved one's death. This day, one year ago, was the hardest, most stressful day of my life. However, one year later, we are celebrating my husband being cancer-FREE for ONE whole year! This is reason to CELEBRATE!

Tonight I will be taking my husband and son out to eat to celebrate this HUGE accomplishment. My husband won his battle with cancer, and my goal is to honor him for all the hard work that he did on his own. We will be going to "steak night." Have you ever watched the tv show, Scrubs? There is a scene in one of the episodes where Turk and J.D. are going to "steak night," and they sing a little song that goes something like this, "We're going to steak night. We're going to eat it right. We're going to steak night." This is the song that my family is singing today.

Learn to celebrate the major hurdles that you overcome within your lifetime! They might not be as huge as beating cancer, but celebrate everything that means something to you. I remember when I graduated from college, and I earned my Associates Degree; my boss made a huge deal about it and treated our department to bagels for breakfast in celebration of my accomplishment. To me, it was no big deal, but to her it was very important. Learn to celebrate what you and your loved ones accomplish! Make a big to-do about it!

April 7, 2011

"TELL YOURSELF THAT IT IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY!"

How often do you dread the day even before you crawl out of bed in the mornings? Do you find yourself lying in bed telling yourself that it is going to be a horrible day before the day even starts? Change the thoughts that you think even before you start your day! Instead of thinking that it is going to be a bad day, tell yourself that you are going to have a good, wonderful, or even beautiful day!

Today was the first day in a week that I got a subbing job. It has been a while since I have worked in an elementary school, so at first I was thinking that it was going to be a stressful day. However, I immediately changed my thoughts to "It's going to be a good day!" I kept saying that over and over in my head before I got out of bed. I changed my dread into positive thoughts. Guess what happened? Today was a very good day!

Sometimes we sabotage our days by our negative thoughts even before the day starts. Think about it! You get out of bed, and on your way to the bathroom, you stub your toe. Instead of just letting the incident go, you think about it, and you put more negative energy into it. Then other "bad" things start to happen, and it just continues throughout the day. Learn to tell yourself first thing in the morning that you are going to have a great day! I bet your days will get better and better, and your so-called bad days will cease to exist. Every day is a blessing from God, so tell yourself that each of your days will be a GOOD day!

April 6, 2011

"DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF!"

Have you ever thought that you might be your worst enemy or your hardest critic in this lifetime? Do you put yourself down or beat up on yourself when you do not meet your own standards? As I was surfing the net this morning, I realized that I have neglected this blog once again for the past four days. At first I was going to call myself lazy or undisciplined. However, I immediately stopped, and these words flowed through my head: Don't be so hard on yourself!

We all get behind with certain things throughout our lives. When I first started this blog, it was my intention to write a different inspirational blog each day for an entire year. That is what I am doing. I am accomplishing my goal; however, I just have to catch up from time-to-time, because sometimes I get too busy to complete a blog every single day. But I do play catch up, and I get the blog back up to date by writing something for each day that I miss. I get it posted, so there is no reason to put myself down.

For years, my husband has always been telling me not to be so hard on myself. I have read in books (probably Joyce Meyer books) that sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We are our most difficult critics when it comes to anything in life. Learn to lighten up some and do not be so hard on yourself. Seriously, things are usually not that serious if you sit down and think about it. Does it matter that I do not post everyday? No! As long as I get something written for each day, that is all that matters. Do not be so hard on yourself and just go with the flow!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

April 5, 2011

"RENEW YOUR MIND!"

"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is - what is proper, pleasing, and perfect. Romans 12:2

Do you ever get overwhelmed by the numerous thoughts that flow through your head? Do you ever have the same thoughts play over and over again day after day? Are some of those thoughts negative? Some of us have been instilled with negative thoughts since we were children. Some of us may have had parents or siblings who may have told us that we were never good enough or that we would never amount to anything. Many people were never blessed with parents who encouraged their children to be all they could be. I know in my own life that my mother was a very negative force in my life. She was constantly telling me when I was a child that I was never "good enough." It was either I was not good enough to be this person's friend or that boy's girlfriend. From a very young age, she instilled within my Spirit a "not good enough complex." Now that I am older, I have learned that I need to renew my mind!

We need to learn that we are "A child of the Most High God" (Joel Osteen). We need to realize that God made us to be the best person we could possibly be during our time here on Earth. God is very proud to call us His children! We need to renew our thoughts by renewing our minds and by changing what we think about on a daily basis. This is a very hard endeavor in which we need to be committed 100%. Any time we may find ourselves slipping into negative thoughts, we have to deliberately change those thoughts to something positive.

The other night before I went to bed I kept repeating to myself, "I can do anything with God's help." I kept saying it over and over again till I fell asleep. The next morning I woke with those exact words running through my head. That morning it seemed as if the sun was shining a little brighter through my bedroom windows.

As we renew our minds, our lives will start to change in a more positive manner. We might start becoming happier, and we might find ourselves smiling more. We will no longer look down upon ourselves or view ourselves as inferior. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Change the way you think about yourself and start telling yourself that you are good enough! Renew your mind and watch your world change around you!

April 4, 2011

"THE ONLY APPROVAL YOU NEED IS GOD'S!"

How often do you get caught up in other people's opinions of you? Are you so afraid of what other people might think or say that you avoid living life the way you want to? I just finished reading the book, Approval Addiction, by Joyce Meyer which I had read several years ago, but with everything that has been happening in my life lately, I decided to read it once again. Joyce explains that we do not need approval from others. The only approval we need is God's approval!

So many people including myself have gone out of their way to try to make other people like them. However, it seems that no matter what we do or what kind of sacrifices we make these other people will never like us. I don't know about you, but I always seem to make matters worse by trying to fix what I thought I might have broken in the first place. Maybe I am trying to fix something that I never broke in the first place, so maybe that is why my attempts at fixing this so-called problem isn't working.

Instead of focusing so much on people who may clearly not want to have anything to do with you, maybe you should focus on God and look at how He approves of you. In Joyce's book, she states that according to studies that two percent of the population will never like us. For some that might be your immediate family, such as siblings, or it might be your in-laws. For me that two percent are those people; my siblings and my in-laws. So instead of focusing on those people, I need to focus on God and His approval of me. God loves me, and His approval is all I need!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

April 3, 2011

"BREATHE IN DEEPLY WHEN FACING ANGER!"

So many things in the near past has gotten the better of me and has created a lot of anger within my soul. Today I found myself becoming more and more irate the more I thought of how my husband's family is disrespecting him. It is to a point now, where they disrespect him and blow him off right in the middle of our local Walmart. It is one thing for them to disrespect me, but to disrespect my husband after the battle he faced last year is uncalled for. The only thing that kept me from blowing my top today was deep breathing.

I found myself pacing back and forth through my home breathing in very deeply and praying to God to help to deliver me from this anger that was boiling within my every core. In the past, I would have blown like a violent volcano, and I would have called the family member who blew off my husband, and I would have given them a piece of my mind. However, today I kept my cool.

After a nice cry and a huge hug from my husband, he explained to me that I need to let it all go and just forget about all this negativity as soon as it happens. He told me how much he loves me, and with me holding onto anger of this magnitude, it is robbing us of our precious time together. Isn't that the truth! Every minute we are angry we lose that minute of precious time, and we never get it back! When facing anger, breathe in deeply and do not make hasty decisions that you may regret later!

April 2, 2011

"I CAN DO ANYTHING WITH GOD'S HELP!"

Today I received some disturbing news that could have upset me a great deal if I would have allowed it to; however, I have learned how to accept negative news without the need to respond with harsh words or drama. You would think that a life-threatening illness would bring families closer together, but what my family has found out this past year and a half is illness does not change anything. Sometimes, illness pushes people away and makes already bad situations even worse. Today I received a message from one of my in-laws stating that I need to stop trying to be part of my husband's family.

In the past seven months, several family members have pushed us to the wayside, and they have been holding grudges against me for things I do not even know what I did wrong. It all started when my husband's uncle passed away near the end of August, and I posted a prayer on my facebook wall for my friends to keep my husband and his family in their prayers because of the uncle's passing. This act must have ticked off a few family members especially my husband's sister, because I received a text message from her stating, "Thank you for telling me my uncle died like that." I was totally confused because other family members had R.I.P. to the uncle written on their facebook walls, and my husband found out the uncle died via a message through facebook from one of his cousins. I was confused why this sister was so angry with me. When I would try to call her, she would let her phone go to voicemail, she would not return my text messages or emails, and she has not visited my husband since this incident happened.

Then in December two weeks before Christmas, I was verbally attacked by my husband's uncle stating that I was the problem in my husband's family, and that I was keeping my husband away from his family members. This totally crushed me, because we were very close with this particular uncle and his wife. Now, they were accusing me of false truths and blaming me for things that were not in my control. My husband and I did not have time to visit family members over the summer, because of his radiation and chemotherapy treatments and we were traveling over 150 miles everyday Monday through Friday going back and forth from our home to the hospital. Not to mention, my husband was not feeling well enough to visit people, and even after he was finished with his treatments, he would come home from work exhausted, and the last thing he wanted to think about doing was entertaining people. However, two weeks before Christmas I was getting blamed once again for things I did not even know what I did wrong, and no one was willing to explain to me what I did wrong.

In the months that have followed, I have been trying to make things right. I have sent out numerous apology emails; however, they fall on def ears until yesterday when I received a message back from my sister-in-law that I need to stop trying to be part of my husband's family. I could have become angry, and I could have called her and screamed at her over the phone. However, what I did was thank her. I called her and thanked her for her honesty and told her that if anyone is interested in the future of how her brother is doing that they should call him directly. I wished her and her family a happy Easter.

Now, I need to walk away and forget about those people who truly must not give a damn about my husband who just went through the hardest battle of his life. How can people turn their backs on their brother after the hell he faced this past year? These thoughts kept going through my head all day, but this one phrase popped in  my head a little while ago. I can do anything with God's help! If they do not want me to be part of their family, then I can walk away and not bother them ever again with God's help. God will guide me through this battle! I should have relied more on God months ago instead of trying to fix everything on my own. Trust God, lean on God, and let God be in charge of your life. "Greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world!"

Friday, April 1, 2011

April 1, 2011

"DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE A FOOL!"

Today I have been thinking about all these broken relationships I have been trying to fix on my own, and how nothing I do seems to work to fix them. It is pretty safe to say that I have been making myself look like a fool by my incessant attempts to make the past wrongs right. I am sure these people read my messages and think to themselves that they are dealing with an idiot who just will not give up. That is why one needs to stop trying to fix things himself or herself, and they just need to turn it all over to God. Stop making yourself look like a fool by trying to fix something that only the Good Lord above can fix.

Sometimes, we try to fix things with every good intention that we could possibly think of; however, I can vouch that there are people out there who will only view what you do in a negative light. It doesn't matter if you put on a parade for the other party, they will view anything you do as problem making. I am at a point in my life where I am not even going to attempt to contact these types of people anymore. If I try to make amends, and they choose to ignore everything I do or everything I say, then it's fairly apparent those other people do not want to have anything to do with me.

Give it to God and let Him take care of all those past hurts or past wrongs. Sometimes, we try too hard to fix things, and we only make matters worse. Do not make yourself look like a fool by trying to fix what God needs to fix.

March 31, 2011

"ONE STEP FORWARD IS ONE STEP AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE STANDING RIGHT NOW!"

Sometimes, life does not always go or fall into place like we would like it to. Sometimes, life keeps throwing us curve ball after curve ball letting us standing in the pits not knowing which way to swing the bat or which way to run. However, if we choose to keep moving forward and to keep taking one step at a time, we will soon be standing in a new and possibly better area of our lives.

Last year soon after my husband was diagnosed with cancer, we found ourselves in a world of confusion and chaos. We did not know which way to go or what to do. However, as long as we kept putting one foot in front of the other going from one doctors appointment to the next, everything soon fell into place and started to unfold like it was supposed to.

Sometimes, we try to control certain aspects of our lives when God wants us to put our faith in Him and allow Him to call the shots. For many years now, I have been struggling with a few family members, and I have been trying to fix a few broken relationships. However, it seems like no matter what I do with good intentions, these family members view my actions in a negative manner. So, what I have decided to do is just give it to God and allow Him to deal with the mending of the relationships if that is what He wants. I am reading a book called "Approval Addiction" by Joyce Meyer, and Joyce states that, "Sometimes we try to have relationships with people God does not even want us to be associated with." So, I am wondering if I have been trying to fix something with people God does not want me to be around, so I have decided to let it go! If God wants these people in my life, then He will mend the broken fences and bring these people back to me. He is the healer of all hurts, and He can fix anything that is broken if that is His will. All we can do is take one step forward in order for it to lead us in a new direction.

One step forward is one step away from where I am today!