Wednesday, March 30, 2011

March 30, 2011


How much of your precious time do you waste by staring off into space or by thinking about things which are no longer important? As I am substituting this morning, and my student is working well independently on a History project, I found myself bored and staring at the clock wishing that the class period would soon end. Then it dawned on me that I could use this valuable time to write my blog. I could write it on a piece of paper and transfer it onto my computer later after I got home from work (which is what I am doing right now). Plus, I need to write down my thoughts as soon as they strike me; otherwise, I may not remember them by the end of the day.

As I watch these students who are supposed to be using their time to complete an assignment, I learn that these seventh graders are wasting quite a bit of valuable time by talking, socializing, or doing nothing at all but sitting there, and the teacher is allowing this to happen. It makes me wonder how many of these students will hand in uncompleted work at the end of the class period whenever they had nearly the entire class period to get everything completed.

This event brings the following question to my mind: At what age do people learn to waste their valuable time? It cannot be whenever they are children before the age of five, because I owned and operated my own daycare center for 10 years and never once did I see a bored child between the ages of one and five. Children of this age spend each of their waking minutes jumping from one play toy to the next. Each of their precious minutes of each day is filled with fun and excitement whether they are playing with matchbox cars, dolls, a kitchen set, play clothes, no matter what they play with they are constantly busy and never bored.

When do we lose that excitement of life that we once held when we were young children? People get stuck in a rut, and they wish their days away. Have you ever caught yourself saying, "Oh, I can't wait till it's Friday" or "I can't wait till it's the weekend." What you are doing is wasting the precious, valuable time you have right now wishing for a different time frame. Use you time wisely! Use your time to enjoy the present moment! If you find yourself sitting staring into space or reliving what happened yesterday in your head over and over again, ask yourself, "What can I be doing right now in order to be using my time in a more efficient manner!"

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

March 29, 2011


For many years, I have been struggling with a lot of past issues with family members. Yesterday as I was writing my blog, something struck me. These two words came at me full force like a rocket "Let Go". I have been holding on to past hurts, past regrets, past, past, past. It's time to get rid of all that extra baggage and let go!

I have been struggling with people who hurt me in the past. Let go! I have been struggling with people who walked out of my life in my most desperate hour. Let go! I have been struggling with cruel and vicious words people used against me. Let go! I have been struggling with my own low self-esteem. Let go! I have been struggling with mistakes I made in the past. Let go!

Once you let go of all those past hurts, what do you have left? You have now! You have this very second of precious time to enjoy the way you want to enjoy it. Those things that you keep going back to in your head are memories, and that person who hurt you yesterday, a year ago, or 10 years ago, is living his or her life with no idea of how you are hurting. So, let it go! Release all the hurt and all the pain and give it to the One who can take all the pain away. Give it to God! Say a prayer to God to deliver you from all that pain and misery from the past.

Each day is a blessing, and it is up to us how we are going to live our lives. Do you want to live it by looking backwards at all the mistakes you made, or do you want to live it by learning from those mistakes and moving forward. The past has no control over you, so let it go!

Monday, March 28, 2011

March 28, 2011


Have you gotten caught up in the mundane trap that society has created of going off to work Monday through Friday, attending extracurricular activities after work and on weekends, and filling every available minute of your days with schedules and deadlines that you no longer see what is around you? How do you view the world and the people in it? Or don't you? Sometimes, it seems like we are rushing through this world merely existing and viewing everything around us through foggy goggles. Well, honey, take off those foggy goggles and view the world with a different set of eyes!

Once you slow down, and you start actually looking at your surroundings, you will notice that the world and everything in it is actually quite beautiful! Once you take off those foggy goggles, you will see that the sun shines brighter, the flowers bloom more vibrantly, and every color in this magnificent world is intensified by one hundred percent.

There comes a time in a person's life when he or she may have to look at things a little differently. For instance, if you are a person who is extremely hard on yourself and blames yourself for every little thing that might go wrong, maybe you are looking at yourself through foggy goggles. If you take off those goggles, maybe you will see that the problem does not reside within yourself. Maybe, the problem is due to someone else's negligence or maybe, just maybe, there isn't a problem at all. Maybe, you have come to expect a problem, because that is how you have been viewing your world through foggy goggles.

Embrace the beauty that the world has to offer! Slow down and enjoy your day! Remember that each of our days is a blessing, and we should never take one of them for granted! Love those who love you! And learn to look at the world as God created it to be looked at! Take off those foggy goggles and look at the world through new eyes!

March 27, 2011


They call the past "the past" for a reason. It is because it is no longer present. It is no longer in the here and now. It is over and done with, and there is nothing we can do to change it. The only thing we can do is learn from the circumstances we faced in the past. You might be thinking, "Well, you don't know what kind of mistakes I made in the past." You are right. I do not know what kind of mistakes you made in the past, but the one thing I do know is that mistake is in the past. It is our job to learn from that mistake and to not repeat that same mistake over and over again.

As I am writing this post, I keep thinking about the movie, "Napoleon Dynamite," during the scene when Uncle Rico is sitting there reminiscing about his football days, and he looks off in the distance and says, "If coach would have just put me in the game, we would have went to the state championships!" Uncle Rico was living his life by looking at his past. He thought that if the coach would have put him in that big game that his life would have turned out differently.

How many of us do just that? We look at where we are today by looking at our past. We make those comments of could of, would of, or should of. For instance, I should of done this or that then that could of or would have happened. What we should do is look at where we are today, and we should be grateful for the things we have been blessed with. Instead of beating up on yourself over a mistake you made last week, last month, last year, or 10 years ago, look at where you are right now. You  cannot move forward by looking behind you!

March 26, 2011


This has been a lifelong battle of mine! I am constantly worried about what other people think about me. Again, if you have been reading my posts, you will soon find that this also stems from my low self-esteem. I have read so many books on the matter, and you would think that it would soon sink into that deep, thick skull of mine, but I still struggle with becoming too concerned with what others think of me. According to Joyce Meyer in her book called "Approval Addiction," I need to STOP being so concerned with what other people think. She says that we must deliver ourselves from such a thinking mentality.

My problem is that I have a huge fear of rejection. I am not sure where this stems from, but I have always been afraid that people would not like me. In many circumstances, I am sure that I probably frightened people off from being my friend, because I probably appeared to be quite needy. It has always bothered me if people seem to not like me. I will go out of my way to find out why they don't like me including sending them email after email asking them why they do not like me. As you can probably see, this has never worked out quite well for me.

There is a saying that goes something like this: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. So, I think it is safe to say that if what I was doing in the past never worked; I think we need to find a new way of doing things. For instance, I need to stop being overly concerned about what people think of me. They probably don't think as badly about me as what I do in my own mind. I need to take Joyce Meyer's advice, and I need deliver myself from this negative behavior. It doesn't matter what other people think of me. It only matters what God thinks of me!

March 25, 2011


Do you ever find yourself trying to conform to other people's way of life in order to be accepted or to fit in? Are there people in your life who do not want to have anything to do with you unless you change who you are either by appearance or your way of thinking? Well, my friend, I say do not conform to what they want you to be. Only be yourself!

If people want you to be someone who you are not, then it is pretty safe to say that they are not "true friend" material. If people are not willing to accept you just as you are, then they are not worthy of a friendship with you.  I say move on and find people who will love you for who you are already.

I have had this battle with some family members throughout my life. Some of them do not want to associate with me because they feel that I think I am better than everyone else. Now, I have never said I was better than anyone. They just decided to label me in this manner. My most famous label from them is "Goody Two Shoes" because I do not drink or smoke or participate in their negative lifestyle. So, this makes me "different."

However, I will not change in order to "fit in" to their little clique. I am who I am, and I am not going to change in order to make a few people happy. If I would change to fit in to their group, that would be a huge lie to myself. I would no longer be the "real" me. So, I say be yourself and do not change into someone you are not just to be part of a group.

March 24, 2011


Have you ever pushed yourself so hard that you made yourself sick? Or have you ever worried so much about the stresses of everyday life that you have made yourself sick? Well, I am not sure which is the case for me today, but I ended up leaving work early today, because I started feeling ill and spiked a fever during homeroom this morning. My student didn't show up for school, so I didn't feel bad about leaving work early. I could just tell by the uneasiness and weariness that was washing over me in the first 30 minutes I was at work that I was going to get sicker as the day went on.

Life stresses take their toll on the human body. There is only so much the body and the spirit can take before it starts breaking down. I am actually shocked that this sickness didn't strike me down sooner than what it has. I have been blessed not to be ill for at least two years. I joke around that in the past year and a half while my husband was ill that I didn't have time to get sick which in actuality might be true. I didn't have time to sit around thinking about the drama in life, because I had to devote all my time to my husband.

However, in the past four months, I have had several personal attacks brought against me, and I have been dwelling on the negativity of the words those people said to me. I honestly feel that this is probably part of the reason I became ill. I sit back and wonder if I would have not allowed such negativity in my life would I be sitting here right now with a scratchy throat, runny nose, sore ears, and fever. What I do know is my body is tired and needs some rest, and this morning I recognized right away that it (my body) wasn't feeling up to par to being at school. Learn to recognize when your body needs a break then give it the rest it deserves!

March 23, 2011


How many times do people give us compliments, and we simply blow them off. I know this is what I used to do in the past until I learned that I was supposed to say thank you after someone complimented me. For some reason, I never felt comfortable receiving compliments like they were never meant for me. I believe this stemmed from years of having a low self-esteem. However, I am slowly learning that when people compliment us what they are doing is telling us what we are good at.

This happened to me today when I was substituting with a student who I had been with for six weeks before Christmas vacation. Many of this student's teachers and other aides came up to me today telling me that they were happy that I was back working with this student. They all told me how I have done such a wonderful job working with him. It was an honor and a privilege to hear them saying such nice things about me.

In the past, I would have laughed off their compliments, but I am slowly learning how to be graceful and to say "thank you" when given a compliment. I am slowly learning that this is the way people show others that they care and that they like each other. For some reason in the past, I suppose I always felt that I was unlikeable and that everyone in this world hated me. Each day I am learning that this is a false notion in which I need to rid out of my thoughts. Lots of people like me, so I just need to be more open to hearing the truth that people say about me. This can be done by actually listening to other people's positive compliments. Be accepting of people's compliments, they will brighten you day!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

March 22, 2011


Sometimes, when people hurt us it is extremely difficult to forgive those who came against us. Sometimes, it seems easier to harbor hate and resentment instead of forgiving and letting things go. Sometimes, it is better for the person who was hurt to forgive the person who hurt them in order to heal himself or herself. I have read that the quicker the hurt person can forgive, the easier it is for them to spring back into a normal life.

Having an unforgiving nature robs a person of happiness. This type of behavior steals joy from the present moment, because you are spending most of your waking hours dwelling on how so-and-so hurt you by what they said or did that offended you so greatly. I read in a book called Infinite Possibilities by Mike Dooley that being offended is a personal decision. We can waste countless hours being hurt and offended, or we can immediately forgive and move on with our lives.

If Jesus of Nazareth could forgive those who committed the worst sin against him, it should that much easier for us to forgive those who may have said a nasty word or comment against us. Look at the person who hurt you through the eyes of Christ. Maybe that person who hurt you isn't at the place where you are in your journey through this life, so maybe they haven't reached the understanding of human feelings. Forgive those who trespass against you! It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with the person who hurt you, but it will mean that you heal your wound which will enable you to move on to a better tomorrow without dwelling on past hurts.

March 21, 2011


My family has been my number one priority in my life. When my husband or son gets sick, I put their needs ahead of mine. Today I did just that! My husband was very ill which made him miss a day of work. One of the perks with being a substitute teacher's aide is that I get to make my own schedule. I decided to stay home with my husband and help him with his needs instead of going to work.

Some people may feel this was irresponsible that I should have gone to my job. However, if there is one thing I have learned in the past year it is that no amount of money comes close to how much our loved ones are worth. Our loved ones should be priceless in our eyes, and they should be our main priority in life. I worry about my husband getting ill, because I never know when we might have to visit our local emergency room. I like to be close by in case something goes horribly wrong.

Sometimes, we may not be able to put others ahead of ourselves, because of prior commitments or obligations. Once you have been through a battle like the one my family faced, your priorities change, and what one thought was important is no longer at such a high level on that priority scale. For my own life, I need to be there for my family whenever they need me. My family will always be my number one priority and my main objective in life! Their needs will always come before my own!

March 20, 2011


Isn't this what everyone wants? We want other people to care about us especially when we are going through tough times. I am not sure how it is in your life, but I have found that when times get tough and when we truly want others to care is when most people turn their backs. I have had some people try to explain to me that the reason people turn away in our times of need is because they do not know what to do, so it is easier to turn a blind eye to those in need. Well, I am here to tell you that what those in need want you to do is care about them.

Sometimes all we want is for someone to ask us if we are ok. Sometimes all we need is for someone to be there for us when we need a shoulder to cry on. What we need is for someone to be a "true" friend. Yeah, it might look easier to just turn a blind eye, but I will guarantee you that person who is facing troubled times will always remember you when his or her life gets turned around. They will be there for you when you may have to face a battle in your own life. So show others your caring nature!

March 19, 2011


What an appropriate word for today! On this day 18 years ago, I married my best friend. Our marriage hasn't been a picnic, and we have had more than our fair share of trials; however, I do believe that our love is stronger today than it was on the day we joined in holy matrimony.

My husband and I have learned that love outweighs anything else that may be hurled in our direction. It has taken me a very long time to agree with him on this matter. There have been so many times in the past when it would have been easier to just throw in the towel than to keep struggling to get by. I know it's been a personal battle with me, because I was never the "favorite" or "most loved" in-law on the block. Many times I have thought that my husband would have a much better relationship with his family if he would just divorce me; however, this has never been an option my husband would consider. He always tells me that it is his choice who he wants to be with, and his choice is me, and if his family isn't going to accept me, well then, that is their loss not ours.

Our love has increased in leaps and bounds over the years, and it keeps increasing with each new battle we face.      
As we celebrate 18 years of marriage with a nice dinner at a nice restaurant and with a play at the local theater, I can look back and be grateful for some of the struggles we have faced, because those struggles are what makes our love so beautiful! I would not want to face this journey called life with anyone other than my husband. True love is a beautiful thing!

March 18, 2011


Since I have fallen behind once again with my blog, I have decided to catch up, but this time I will use one word titles for some of my days. Doesn't it seem like some people are constantly searching for happiness? No matter what they accomplish in life, things just don't seem to be "good enough". I was one of those people who was searching everyday of my life for that one word above: happiness. It took me a long time to figure out that we are in charge of our own happiness, and the only place we can find true happiness is within ourselves.

I have always from childhood suffered from a low-self esteem, so I was constantly searching for people's approval. When people rejected me and did not approve of me, my self-esteem would become shattered and my self image would plummet. I have lived like this most of my life. I have read self-help books and inspirational books, but for some reason, nothing helps. I usually find myself going around the same mountain over and over again.

I am slowly learning with age that other people do not determine who we are in life. We determine who we are in life, and we also determine if we are going to be happy or if we are going to be miserable. Life is truly a gift from God and each of our days is to be enjoyed. So, make up your mind to live a life of happiness. Don't waste your precious time trying to please everybody, because you will never be able to please some people.

Happiness is a gift from God!

March 17, 2011


As you probably know by now, my family faced our biggest challenge last year with my husband's life-threatening illness. In that time period, many of my "so-called" friends walked out of my life. One woman was my supposed "best friend" for the past 27 years, and she turned her back on me and walked away. However, there were a few people who stood by me and never turned their backs. Today, I gave one of those friends a token of my appreciation.

I had a job interview in the town where my friend lives. She lives nearly 45 minutes away from me, so we do not see each other on a regular basis. However, today I made up my mind that since I was going to be in her neck of the woods that I would stop in and visit  her. She was very grateful for my visit, because her husband just suffered from a heart attack last week, and I could tell she needed someone to talk to. Since my friend's birthday is next week, I decided to surprise her with a small gift. During one of my not-so-frequent shopping sprees to a craft store that was going out of business, I decided to stock up on gifts for special occasions. I put the items back for times just like this one.

My friend was surprised that I had brought her a gift for her birthday, because she knows how  my family has been struggling financially with all our medical bills. However, I wanted to show her how much her friendship means to me and to show her how grateful I am that she never left me during my time of need. My friend never expected a gift, because we do not see each other very often, but I enjoy seeing the smile on someone's face when I treat them to something they like. A small token of kindness goes a long way, and it shows others how much we truly care.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

March 16, 2011


Today a friend sent me the following Winston Churchill quote, "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." As I started thinking about this quote, it suddenly dawned on me how true this statement truly is. Enemies build our character, and they make us realize how we will not back down from what we believe in. So in essence, enemies are not necessarily a bad thing.

Each person has his or her own set of morals or ideals which help guide us through our lives. What I believe may not necessarily be what my sister, brother, mother, or even husband believes. Just because we think differently than the people around us does not make us bad people.

Last week during the battle I was engulfed in, my adversary said the following phrase to me, "You are who you are, and I cannot fix that." I sit back, and I can now laugh at this statment, because I am fine with who I am, and I do not need any fixing especially from a girl who just started her adulthood. This girl does not even realize it, but she is building my character. She is shaping me into a better person. I have learned from our little spat that just because I am different does not mean that I need to conform to a way of life that does not suit me in order to please a few. If she chooses not to accept me for who I am, then she is loosing out on a great friend.

If you have spent your entire life feeling bad for yourself, because you have acquired a few enemies over the years, start looking at the situation in a new light. Look at these enemies as blessings who are molding you into a better being. In the book, The Power, the author, Rhonda Byrne, calls these kind of people who build our character PETs or Personal Emotional Trainers. These people test us with certain attacks, such as hatred, guilt, or revenge. However, instead of acting in a negative manner, learn from these people and build up your character in a positive way that will outshine their hateful ways. Don't look at your enemies any longer as a bad thing, but embrace them as building blocks for your future. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

March 15, 2011


Finally, my blog is caught up. Today's title "Don't be afraid to get caught up" is similar to a blog I wrote last month about not being afraid to start over. Sometimes, life happens, and we get behind on things, such as extracurricular activities such as our blogs. It seems easy to want to give up and to forget about it, but you will feel much better if you just take the initiative to get it caught up. You might just learn something along the way that you may have not seen or learned had you given up. So, whatever it is in your life that may be falling behind, get it caught up and see how good you feel.

March 14, 2011


It seems like when things get crazy in our lives, we try to handle the situation on our own. Sometimes, when we do this, the situation gets even more out of control. This is what happened to me this past week. I decided to handle the situation or might I say "tried" to handle the situation on my own, and the situation escalated into chaos. That voice on the inside was trying to be heard, but I was drowning that tiny voice out. I would take care of this situation! However, with each email I sent, the situation just got worse. Then as I was sitting in front of my computer with head in hands and tears streaming down my face, I hear the voice say, "Block her out of your life!" I decided to listen to that tiny voice and we started to have a conversation. The voice told me that I am a good person, and that I do not deserve to be treated with such disrespect.

I have been reading the book, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and this other Liz I am reading about learned to come back to God and listen for God just as I am doing now. Let God lead you and guide you. Always come back and rely on God!

March 13, 2011


Every two weeks, I have to do my mother's grocery shopping because she no longer drives due to her failing eyesight. Every two weeks, I whine, moan, and complain about having to do this chore. You would think I was an only child the way my mother depends upon me; however, I have six brothers and sisters who could share with these duties. However, they do not share or help in any way. It is all up to me; the groceries, the doctors appointments, the medical tests, and picking up the prescriptions from the pharmacy. This isn't including everything I have to do at my own home with my own family and our medical needs. You would think that after years of having to cope with all my mother's needs on top of my own family's needs that I would be used to it. Well, it's getting a little easier, because I am learning to just accept my responsibilities. Whining, moaning, groaning, and complaining isn't going to get the job done faster or easier, so I am learning to just take care of my responsibilities and get it over with.

March 12, 2011


Today I did the wrong thing. I took blame for something that is not my fault. I took the blame for something which is out of my control. For some reason which I believe stems back to that low self esteem I spoke of in an earlier post, I will take the blame just to make peace. That, my friend, is wrong! You should never take the blame for anything if it is not your fault or if you have no control over the matter. So, do not take the blame for anything that is not your fault!

March 11, 2011


Some circumstances are easier to bear than others. Some circumstances take a while to overcome, such as my husband's healing process through his illness. Other circumstances, such as unneeded drama, should take less time to get through.

Today I am dealing with yet another of life's circumstances. The other day, I was offered a long-term subbing job, and today it was ripped out from underneath me. However, the administrators gave me a different subbing job of working with children who speak no English. The problem is I do not speak their language. I can remember some words from my language class from high school, but these memories are from over 20 years ago. So, it is very certain that I will not be able to work in this position they dealt me. It would be unfair to the students who truly need someone who speak their native language. When I got home today, I informed my supervisor to please remove me from this position.

So learn to bear the circumstances that life throws your way. Each circumstance will be easier to deal with than others.

March 10, 2011


Look at yourself as God looks at you. In God's eyes, you are a beautiful person. In God's eyes, you are a work of art. In God's eyes, you are developing into the person He created you to be. Nothing less will do! So do yourself the favor and start viewing yourself as God views you.

March 9, 2011


I have this habit of condemning myself or putting myself down. I have done it all my life, and I believe it stems from a low self esteem. People with a low self esteem are on a bully's radar detector. They will pinpoint you, and they will rip you apart. Once this happens, most people with low self esteems will condemn themselves and will beat up on themselves more than the bully. STOP! Don't waste your precisous moments by putting down a beautiful creation; a masterpiece that God created. Do not condemn yourself! You are worth more than that!

March 8, 2011


Let's face it, there are people in this world who thrive on causing arguments. It's like they are never happy unless they are causing grief in other people's lives. Well, my friend, please do not make the mistake I made by falling into this trap. Simply ignore these people and move on with your life. You may be feeling that ignoring them will be rude. Ignoring them will be a lot better than allowing them to drag you into their drama and games. So save yourself some agony, and do not fall into the trap of someone else's argument!

March 7, 2011


First I would like to express my apologies for neglecting my blog for the past week. I have been struggling through some personal issues rather some personal attacks, so I needed to put my blog on hold until I was able to devote inspirational time once again. My messages for the next seven days will probably be brief and to the point, so let's get started on "Listen to the people around you."

The people close to you probably have insight on things in which you may not see as clearly. For instance, I would have saved myself a lot of drama this past week had I listened to my husband. He told me to deny the girl who sent me a friend request on facebook; however, I decided to take matters into my own hands and send her a message offering for her to come to my house to discuss our past issues. Well, the whole situation backfired, and a massive erruption took place on my computer that last several days.

Had I listened to those close to me, my husband, I could have saved myself stress, tears, and my blog from being neglected. So listen to those around you. They may have beneficial insight for you.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

March 7, 8, 9, 2011

Dear Fellow Bloggers,

This is the first time that I have rolled three days into one. The last three days have been extremely difficult, because of me following my own advice and trying to make peace with someone who has caused me hurt and grief in my past. This person sent me a friend request on facebook, and instead of ignoring her request, I sent her a message telling her that I could not accept her request at this point, but if she would be willing to meet with my husband and me and discuss our issues as adults then I may agree to accept her friend request. Well, her first message to me included false accusations against me. It has been a rollercoaster ride since, and I have now shut down my facebook page.

Anyway, I have grouped the past three days together, and I have no title for today, because I am not feeling any type of inspiration. I have no clue what to write about, because I am mentally drained by this girl's incessant tirade of rude remarks. I have determined that there is no use even trying to be friends with some members of the family. It is a no win battle for me, and it causes my family much unneeded stress. After the year we have had, the last thing my husband needs is more stress in his life.

So, maybe tomorrow I will be inspired to write something positive and inspirational. Right now, my mind is blank.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

March 6, 2011


Everyone in this world deserves a second chance; however, the only way I would recommend giving someone a second chance would be to do it on your own terms. We all have had people hurt us emotionally by saying something mean spirited or doing something that hurts our character or hurts our feelings. If the person shows true remorse for his or her actions, and they have proved that they have changed for the better then it might be ok to give this person a second chance. However, give this person or persons a second chance on your terms and your terms ONLY!

Do not open up yourself for more hurt and drama. Most of the time you can tell fairly early on if the person intends to bring more hurt into your life or if they truly want to fix the chaos they caused. This is what I am facing today. When I logged onto facebook this afternoon, I had a new friend request. I get excited when I get friend requests because I am always intrigued by "who found me now". However, when I clicked on "friends," my heart sank when I saw who was befriending me. It was a family member who I have not spoken to in nearly six years. She said some very evil, mean spirited words to me, and I have never spoken to her since. The more I thought about what to do; the more confused I became. If I denied her friend request, the family would look upon me as the b#!@h they always deemed me as. If I accepted her friend request, I opened up myself to personal attack and possibly having my profile sabotaged. So, I thought about it long and hard, and this is what I decided to do.

I accepted her friend request long enough to send her a message explaining to her that I was going to deny her friend request, but I would accept after she agreed to meet with my husband and me in our own home to discuss our past issues. I feel that I am being extremely fair, but I am giving her another chance on my own terms. I am not opening up myself to negative activity that may take place on my facebook profile if I just approved her without speaking to her first. I have no clue what her intentions are for sending me a friend request, so if she truly feels remorse and wants to fix our past issues then I feel that the terms I set forth are doable.

Do not just accept people who have hurt you back into your life without giving it deep thought. Contemplate the issue for several days if you have to. I am sure a decision does not need to be made in this exact instant. Then when you have thought about it, set your own terms and never allow these people to hurt you ever again. If they are truly sorry for the hurt they caused you, they should not have any issues with meeting your terms.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

March 5, 2011


Do you ever feel like everyone (well, maybe not everyone but almost everyone) is totally against you? Do you ever feel like no matter what you do in life there are people in this world whom you will never please? Well, my friend, that last statement is true! There are people whom we will never please. It doesn't matter what you do to try to win them over to your side nothing will work with these people, and they will continue to kick you while you are already down. Don't allow these people to be a negative force in your life! Stand up for youself and defend your character! Don't be a punching bag for these energy drainers!

Some people are just naturally negative. They will only look for faults in you and others. To them, you will never be able to do anything "good," and they will pinpoint every flaw in your character. These people are also very versatile in stuffing your past down your throat after you have already forgotten about the past, because let's face it, the past is the past and is where it belongs which is in the past. Did you ever take notice how these same energy drainers have difficulty seeing their own faults? In their own eyes, they are perfect and can do no wrong. Boy Oh Boy! We all know that this cannot be true! There is no one in this world who is perfect; we all make mistakes which I talked about yesterday.

I am not quite sure why some people are natural bullies. I am not sure why some people feel the need to constantly be ridiculing the same person over and over again. For instance, when my husband was going through his healing process, I was right there with him every step of the way. However, to some, I wasn't doing enough. I was condemned for not being able to change my husband's incision bandage after his surgery, and we had to hire a nurse to come in twice a day for the first few weeks in order to change his bandages. Now, his incision was not your normal surgical incision. When the doctors removed the staples before my husband came home from the hospital, his incision opened up leaving a HUGE open wound of raw flesh. This incision was at least eight to 12 inches long, three inches wide, and three inches deep! This was not your normal flesh wound, and I will be the first to admit that I do not do well with any kind of injury. So, a nurse had to come in twice a day for the first few weeks and pack my husband's incision with strips of wet gauze and rebandage. So many people in our family condemned me and put me down for not being a good wife, because I couldn't change my husband's bandages. Some even made jokes about me not being a Florence Nightengale. These jokes truly hurt my feelings, because I truly did feel bad about not being able to help with my husband's bandages. However, what the family did not take into consideration was I was up most of the nights giving my husband his medications, and flushing out his feeding tube every four hours. They chose to look at my fautls instead of looking at what I was doing right. I was there by my husband's side every single day and night, but people still chose to use me as a punching bag. Where were these same people who chose to condemn me during my family's most difficult period? They decided to stay as far away as humanly possible. They chose not to help but chose to condemn me even though I was by my husband's side every step of the way.

One day in late August, something happened that made me open my eyes and realize I no longer wanted to be that punching bag. I was accused unjustly for something that was totally ridiculous. Instead of sitting back and taking crap from this person who was dishing it. I decided to give it right back, and I layed it on the line that I was no longer going to take the blame for stupid, petty drama.

Do yourself a favor and stop allowing other negative people to use you as their personal punching bag. Take up for yourself and defend yourself! You no longer have to take the blame for things that are not in your control. Refuse to be a punching bag and learn to defend your character!

Friday, March 4, 2011

March 4, 2011


Do you feel like the weight of the whole world is falling on your shoulders? Do you feel that life is so stressful at this point that you have no idea how you are going to make it through each of your days? Are you trying to be strong and courageous and refusing to show emotion by crying? Do you look at crying as a weakness? Well, my friend, I am going to tell you that it is ok to cry.

It has been a proven fact that crying relieves stress. Crying gets all your emotions out on the table. Crying does not make you a wimp or a sissy. Crying is God's reminder to us that we have feelings. Holding in stresses of all kinds is not good for you in any way including mentally, physically, and socially.

In the past year, I have done my fair share of crying and without that release, I would have been a horrible, emotional mess. Sometimes, life gets too heavy to take it all on yourself, and the only way to let go of some of those burdens is to break down and cry and then give it to God. Give God your stresses, and let Him handle your problems. Our shoulders are wide, but sometimes, not wide enough for everything life dumps on our plate.

The reason I decided to blog about crying today is because earlier today life had me crying my eyes out. My son, who is a wonderful young man, brought home his progress report from school. Now, you are probably thinking I was crying because he got bad grades, but I was crying because of the exact opposite. My 14 year old son brought home five A's and two B's! Now, this isn't what had me in tears, because he is a wonderful student and brings home good grades most of the time, but my son asked me if he could have a prize for his efforts. This is a tradition we had started with him when he first started school nearly ten years ago. I started crying because I did not have the money to buy my son a prize. I had just got done writing out three bills; two hospital bills and my student loan. This left my account nearly empty, and it brought tears to my eyes when my son asked me to grant him his prize. How on Earth did our family get to this stage in our lives? We were always well-off in the past with enough to meet our basic needs and thensome. Life happened, and it drained us of our financial means.

Without crying, one could become a complete basketcase. Please do not be afraid to cry, because crying will relieve so many stresses within your life. CRY and get the stress out!

March 3, 2011


Do you ever find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again? Joyce Meyer defines this as going around the same mountain but during different times in your lifetime. There is a statement that says insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I am not saying that you are insane, but this type of behavior may make one feel as if he or she was going insane. Stop making the same mistakes. Instead learn from your mistakes and try a different approach the next time when faced with a similar issue.

Sometimes it is hard to forgive ourselves for mistakes we may have made in the past. People will continually throw our past and our faults in our faces. They will constantly remind us of our inadequacies. Do not listen to them! Sure you have made mistakes; we all have. Some people will try to belittle you for your past, and they will put themselves on a pedestal. However, no one on this planet is void of mistakes in his or her lifetime. Learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and ignore the negative comments of your adversaries.

Your mistakes do not define who you are, but they are merely stepping stones to form you into a strong, confident adult. Each mistake we make is a learning experience. We can choose to put ourselves down and beat up on our own emotions, or we can choose to look for the lesson that life is trying to teach us. Don't spend so much time brooding on your past mistakes. That is a complete waste of time in the now. Learn to forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

March 2, 2011


Do you ever find yourself thinking the worst of a situation before you have all the facts? This happened to me today when my husband and I went for his three month cancer checkup. His CT Scan showed some minor issues from his surgery. Before the doctor had a chance to explain in detail what was going on inside my husband's body, I was already thinking that he was going to have to have another major surgery in a month or two. However, once the doctor met with a Senior Surgeon, we soon found out that the surgery is something that does not have to happen overnight. The Senior Surgeon reassured us that we can wait till my husband's next three month checkup to see if the issues on the inside get worse or stay the same.

If I would not have jumped to conclusions, I could have saved myself some negative thoughts. I know these negative thoughts only lasted for approximately 15 minutes, but in reality, those negative thoughts did not need to exist in the first place.

Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions before you are presented with all the facts. People spend so much of their precious time worrying about problems that usually never occur. We all know people who think negatively about everything; they are always expecting the worse to happen. Don't jeopordize today's happiness on a problem that may never happen tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

March 1, 2011


How many times do you go to a funeral, and you see relatives that you haven't seen in years? Some of those relatives may be very close relatives, such as brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, and uncles. Why do people not visit each other anymore? Maybe that is not how things are for you, but that is how it is for most people I know in the town I live in Pennsylvania. Whenever I bring up such topics on facebook everyone is quick to jump on the band wagon and agree with me; however, life still goes on without any visits from any family members and few friends. Plus, people do not invite others over to their homes anymore.

Maybe I am just trying to relive the 1980's when all my brothers and sisters would pile in the car on Sunday afternoons, and we would head to grandma's house. As we got older and grandma passed away, then our Sunday afternoon routine changed to visiting older brothers and sisters who married and started families of their own or possibly aunts and uncles. There was usually never a Sunday that went by when we weren't visiting someone, or someone wasn't visiting  us.

Things seemed to have changed in the twenty-first century. People no longer seem to have time to visit family members or even call family members. My husband was diagnosed with cancer over a year ago, and there are several family members on his side of the family who have never called or visited since his diagnosis. My family is so dysfunctional that there isn't any reason to even mention them. Are people that busy that they no longer have time for their loved ones?

I will be the first to admit that the only time my family visits anyone is when we are invited to another's home except for a cousin whom we pop in on from time to time. Don't let life pass you by and leave you thinking that you have tomorrow to call or stop by. What is stopping you from picking up the phone this very moment and calling someone who means the world to you. Don't wait till their funeral when it is too late. Make time for your loved ones and visit them now while they are still here with you on planet, Earth!

February 28, 2011


This month has been a little difficult for me to keep a post going everyday and posting it everyday. I have gotten behind several days in a row, and I have found myself playing "catch up" to getting my blogs posted. I may not be posting everyday; however, I am posting an inspirational saying for each day. Sometimes, depression swarms over me, and it tries to consume me and take me down. However, I keep pressing forward. I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and I keep stepping forward.

Is there something in your life that may be getting you down? Do you feel like giving up? Well, my friend, there are a lot of people in those types of shoes these days. People are losing their jobs, their homes, their loved ones due to illnesses; these days just seem to be dark and dismal. I was asked to leave my job a year ago due to the time I was missing when my husband was going through chemotherapy treatments. My boss felt it would be better for me to resign before my husband had his surgery, because I wanted to be home with him while he was healing. So, now that my husband is back to work full-time, I feel extremely guilty that I am not working because I cannot find a job. I keep filling out job applications, but I never receive a call back for any interviews.

Some days become extremely depressing, but I try to remember that these feelings of despair will soon pass if I do not give up. I have to take one day at a time and keep pressing forward. I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep stepping forward. I read a post on facebook yesterday that stated that if you keep going forward you are one step away from where you started from. This is so true, so keep on stepping forward each day. You will soon see the light at the end of the tunnel.

February 27, 2011


Do you ever feel like everyone around you is trying to tell you how to live your life? Do you find people saying to you, "I am not trying to tell you what to do, but this is what I would do"? These people may mean well providing you with information on how they would accomplish a goal; however, their decision may not be good for your life. Set your own standards in life and live by your own rules!

My mother has been a burr in my side most of my life concerning this matter. She always wants everyone to do things according to how she would handle the situation, and sometimes, that just does not work. You are the creator of your own life, so only you know what is good or bad for you. Try not to get too influenced by what other people have to say. Sometimes, we need other people's advice on how to get a task accomplished, but if you find people offering advice when you never asked for advice it is pretty safe to say that person is trying to control your life. There are times when we do not need another person's advice, because we already know how we are going to solve an issue.

Set your own standards in life! Live by your own rules in life! Never live under another person's microscope of how they feel you should live your life. That, my friend, is called control. That person is trying to control your life, and if you are a grown adult, you have the power of making your own decisions in your own life. Live by your own standards and rules!