March 6, 2011

"GIVE SOMEONE A SECOND CHANCE BUT ON  YOUR TERMS!"

Everyone in this world deserves a second chance; however, the only way I would recommend giving someone a second chance would be to do it on your own terms. We all have had people hurt us emotionally by saying something mean spirited or doing something that hurts our character or hurts our feelings. If the person shows true remorse for his or her actions, and they have proved that they have changed for the better then it might be ok to give this person a second chance. However, give this person or persons a second chance on your terms and your terms ONLY!

Do not open up yourself for more hurt and drama. Most of the time you can tell fairly early on if the person intends to bring more hurt into your life or if they truly want to fix the chaos they caused. This is what I am facing today. When I logged onto facebook this afternoon, I had a new friend request. I get excited when I get friend requests because I am always intrigued by "who found me now". However, when I clicked on "friends," my heart sank when I saw who was befriending me. It was a family member who I have not spoken to in nearly six years. She said some very evil, mean spirited words to me, and I have never spoken to her since. The more I thought about what to do; the more confused I became. If I denied her friend request, the family would look upon me as the b#!@h they always deemed me as. If I accepted her friend request, I opened up myself to personal attack and possibly having my profile sabotaged. So, I thought about it long and hard, and this is what I decided to do.

I accepted her friend request long enough to send her a message explaining to her that I was going to deny her friend request, but I would accept after she agreed to meet with my husband and me in our own home to discuss our past issues. I feel that I am being extremely fair, but I am giving her another chance on my own terms. I am not opening up myself to negative activity that may take place on my facebook profile if I just approved her without speaking to her first. I have no clue what her intentions are for sending me a friend request, so if she truly feels remorse and wants to fix our past issues then I feel that the terms I set forth are doable.

Do not just accept people who have hurt you back into your life without giving it deep thought. Contemplate the issue for several days if you have to. I am sure a decision does not need to be made in this exact instant. Then when you have thought about it, set your own terms and never allow these people to hurt you ever again. If they are truly sorry for the hurt they caused you, they should not have any issues with meeting your terms.