Saturday, February 26, 2011

February 26, 2011


Do you know what it means to edify another person? It means to build up that person, to lift up, or to help make that person a better person. We all have had people in our lives who have edified us in one way or another.

My first grade teacher, Mrs. Kahl, was a wonderful edifier. I was extremely shy in school especially when I was first starting out, but Mrs. Kahl saw in me a whole lot of potential. She always encouraged me to do my best and to follow my dreams. Years later my mom told me a story about how Mrs. Kahl told her that I was the best singer in that first grade class; however, I was too shy to sing out strong. She told my mom about another girl in my class who couldn't sing a lick and wanted to sing every chance she could, but she said I could sing, but I sat in my seat and would never raise my hand to do so. When my mom told me this when I was in high school, that news really made me feel good about my singing, so the next chance I got to sing a solo in chorus, I took that opportunity and received a standing ovation.

You may feel that you have never had anyone to edify you in your lifetime, but I bet if you think back to your childhood, I bet you could think of at least one person who helped build up your character or morals. Some of us do not have a strong family structure, and our parents may have never been there to help nurture that positive self-esteem that we needed. And sometimes, our siblings try to tear us down instead of build us up.

No matter what kind of childhood you had good or bad, we can learn from what others gave us or did not give us. Be there for others and help to edify someone today. Just a kind word of encouragement can go a long way. We never know what kind of home life a person has, and it may appear on the outside that everything is fine and dandy at home, but sometimes it is a totally different situation behind closed doors. Encourage someone to be the best that they possibly can be. Tell them that they are a good person and that they have a lot of potential.

I used to work at a Juvenile Detention Center, and I was constantly trying to edify these adoloscents that made wrong choices in their lives in order to get locked up in a secure facility. Some of the kids were blown away with my willingness to encourage them. They had never had anyone in their lives to tell them that they are a good person. Many of those young adults left that detention center to never return, and word got back that they had totally turned their lives around in a positive manner.

You never know how you are going to positively influence someone else, so don't be afraid to build up another person. Don't be afraid to give out words of encouragement. You might change a life in a positive way just by getting in the habit of edifying those around you. Edify someone today! 

Friday, February 25, 2011

February 25, 2011


Are you your worst critic? Do you beat up yourself over petty little mistakes? Are you your own worst enemy? Some people set such high standards for themselves that the only thing they can do is fail, and when they do fail, they are their own worst emotional abuser. Instead of tearing yourself down, build yourself up! Start believing in yourself today!

If you do not believe in yourself, then why should other people believe in you? Start treating yourself as if you are your own best friend. Treat yourself with respect, love yourself, and when things don't go the way you think they should have gone, well, try again.

I am an avid reader of Joel Osteen books. One thing that I have learned from reading his books is you have to be your own cheerleader. You have to look at yourself not through your own eyes, but through the eyes of God. Ask yourself, "How does God view me?" He views you as the most precious gift a Father could have! "You are a child of the Most High God" (Joel Osteen).

Now, I know that you might have years of negative thoughts instilled within your brain that you might have been taught since a young child. Maybe your parents or someone close to you didn't think very highly of you. Well, as Joel Osteen teaches, God loves you, and He thinks you are a wonderful spiritual being.

Start building yourself up today. Instead of being  your own worst enemy, try being your own best friend. If you mess up doing something, don't relive it over and over for days or even weeks. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep on moving forward. Start believing in yourself! Encourage yourself to be the best that you can possibly be!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

February 24, 2011


This week has been a total downer for me. Yesterday was a sea of depression, several days I wasn't feeling well, I just did not feel like doing anything, and I neglected my blog for five days. The thought, once again, crossed my mind to just forget about it. Someone even said to me that there is no way a person can be inspired everyday to write a positive blog. Well, that is true if you are allowing yourself to wallow in a mud pitt of negativity. So, I decided to dig my heels in, rethink those words that have been playing over and over in my head this past week, and I decided that today was my day to start over.

For the past several hours, I have been sitting in front of my computer, and I have not had any kind of trouble coming up with topics for the past five days. They just kept rolling out of my mind and onto the computer screen. Several of those thoughts were already there days ago, but I didn't "feel" like writing the blog then. I just didn't want to take time out of my depression to put positive words in front of me. The funny thing is that once I did start over today how quickly my mood changed from brooding to joy.

Today was another day that I had to start over or start again. Never be afraid to start again. If many of the people from our history would have been afraid to start again, we might still be sitting in darkness without any kind of artificial illumination. You have probably heard the story about Thomas Edison, and how it took him over 9,000 tries to learn how to make the lightbulb. Had he given up after the tenth try or even the 8,999 try, we would possibly still be reading by candlelight, and you sure as heck would not be reading this blog right now.

There have been plenty of times in my life where I have given up on certain projects, but there is always time to start again. No matter where you are in your life, and even if you feel that you are a complete failure, just start again. Look at life as Thomas Edison did, and say, "I am not a failure! I just learned how certain things do not work!" Be brave and start again!

February 23, 2011


Once again, this post probably sounds a little ridiculous. If your friend is already your friend, then how could one possibly not allow the friend to be a friend. Are you with me yet? Sometimes, we do not allow our friends to be our "true" friends. Sometimes, we put up walls, and we insist that we can handle everything in our lives on our own. How many times have you had a friend say to you, "If you need to talk, I am here for you." But instead of confiding our problems with this person whom we know we can trust, we decide to deal with the issue on our own. Sometimes, dealing on our own with serious stresses can create a whole lot of chaos in our lives, such as depression, loneliness, and anxiety.

This is what happened to me today. I walked upon the ship, The SSMelancholy, with its anchor in the Sea of Depression. This year has been a stressful, chaotic, whirlwind of a year. So many people whom I thought were good friends even best friends decided to turn their backs on me and walk out of my life during the most horrific event that has ever taken place in my lifetime. These people were not my real friends. However, there were a few people who decided to plant themselves next to me no matter what mood I may be experiencing, and they never left my side. This, my friend, is a "true" friend. However, most of the time, I do not utilize these people as my friend, because I do not want to bother them. I know how busy people are in their own lives, and they do not need to hear any of my difficulties. This is where I found myself today...wallowing in self-pity and feeling sorry that I had no one to talk to.

Listen to me say this! I did have people to talk to! I have a friend who has been a real friend for probably 25 years....we kind of lost count how long we have known each other. I have made a few, new online friends on my facebook profile, and they have definitely showed their support in the past year. I just was not utilizing these people how they truly wanted to be utilized. They wanted me to talk to them and to tell them what I was facing. One friend even told me that I was helping her face her divorce more easily by the two of us bouncing our thoughts off each other. When your friends tell you to talk to them, what they might be saying is, "Please talk to me because nobody else wants to." So, be that person who isn't afraid to talk to their real friends. Let your friends be the friend they really want to be!

February 22, 2011


This probably sounds silly. You are probably sitting there thinking, "How on Earth could someone be upset or disappointed when receiving good news?" Trust me, my friend, it happens all the time. It happened to me today, and I was very upset with the news I received when in reality I should have been beaming from ear to ear with excitement.

Let me back track a little bit, and let me explain to you what had me so upset. Two years ago, I sustained a back injury from my job, and in those two years the disc herniation I received has gotten worse. There are times when I am in severe pain nonstop for days and sometimes, even weeks. Today I was going to meet with a neurosurgeon to discuss whether or not my back needed surgery. The news I received was not the news I had hoped to hear. I had already planted in my mind that I needed surgery, and that was going to be the end of it, but what the doctor told me was totally different. He told me that I might not need surgery for another 20 years. Now, most people would be thrilled with such news. However, I was extremely disappointed. This news made me second guess all the aches and pains I was feeling in the last two years. This news made me kick myself for spending my family's hard earned money on an MRI that probably was not needed or necessary. I felt I had wasted my husband's time by making him take off work to accompany me to my appointment.

All these thoughts had me angry and irrate at the end of my doctors visit when I should have been feeling relief and happiness. My husband and I drove home the 75 miles from the doctors office in complete silence because I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. In my mind, I was a failure. I had felt that this diagnosis made me look like an idiot, and it made it seem like I was making a mountain out of this injury which should have been a mole hill. Once I calmed down, my husband explained to me what he thought he heard the doctor say. He said that he felt the doctor still viewed my injury as serious, but there was no need to make me go through a surgery that I did not need at this time.

So many people get angry, upset, and disappointed when they receive good news. Please do not make the same mistake I made; enjoy the good news. Look at the good news as a blessing from God instead of viewing it as a waste of time or money on your part. My husband looks at the money we spent on the MRI as money spent for peace of mind. Rejoice in good news and don't be disappointed.

February 21, 2011


Do you find yourself dreading the day even before you crawl out of bed in the mornings? Do you find negative thoughts running through your head as soon as your eyes open to the new dawn? Instead of looking at the day as a blessing, you are wishing that it was already over. Maybe your view of life will change in a more positive way if you start treating each day as if it were an adventure.

Before getting out of bed, before you put your feet on the floor, ask yourself what kind of adventure you can experience today. Maybe you can start off with something easy, such as seeing how many strangers you can say hello to today. You can even make a game out of this and keep your score for a week to see which day of the week gets more "hellos" than the others. Or maybe, you could keep score of how many times you can hold a door for a stranger or smile at a stranger. Once you get familiar and comfortable with this little game, you can span out to seek new adventures. Maybe you haven't spoken to a friend in a very long time, so you pick up the phone and give them a call. Maybe you decide to sit down and write a long letter to that teacher or coach who inspired you to follow your dreams.

No matter what you decide to do, make it a point to do something different and positive each day. Whether it's hiking around the park on your lunch break, sitting on the park bench while enjoying a cup of coffee, or taking a new route home from work, treat the occassion as an adventure. This time will never happen again, so enjoy it while it is here. Treat today like the adventure that you may not be able to experience tomorrow!

February 20, 2011


One may think that this post resembles a prior post about being in the Now; and in a way, it does. However, I would like to talk about being present among your family and friends. One can be in the Now, but still not be present in certain circumstances. Let me try to explain.

Two nights before my husband's surgery, my husband, son, and I went out to dinner with a family member and her boyfriend. The entire time we were with our family members they were not present. Now, we all were in the same restaurant, sitting at the same table; however, these other family members were not present during our evening out. They were preoccupied by other devices, such as text messages, cellphones, and vehicles driving by as we ate. My husband and I tried to start conversations with these people, but they were too busy wrapped up in their own little world. The lady, who will remain nameless, would not put her cellphone down. Numerous text messages came in from the time we met at the restaurant until the time we parted ways, and instead of her ignoring them and answering them at a later time, she decided to take our valuable time together and spend the entire time on the phone. Her boyfriend was too busy watching the vehicles pass by the restaurant, so no conversations were being stirred from his side of the table. My husband and I glanced at each other from time to time in the 60 minutes that we were together with these people, as if reading each other's minds as to say, "what the heck is happening here."

There have been several times since that night out that the female family  member has asked me out to lunch; however, I have politely turned down her offer. If someone cannot put their cellphone away for 30 to 60 minutes while we converse and have a nice meal, then I have to pass up the offer and realize that my time is much more valuable than sitting there watching her text message other people. I want my friends and family members to be present during our time together.

I do have to admit that I did fall into the text messaging trap a few years ago, and it drove my husband and son insane! They were constantly yelling at me to put away my cellphone, and to hang out with them even though I was sitting at the table with them. Now, I understand that I may have been sitting next to them at the same table and in the same restaurant, but I wasn't present. I wasn't there listening to what they were discussing. I was in my own little world living my own little drama with people whom could wait till I had free time. Don't be afraid to put away the cellphone. Be in the present with your friends and family members! You might just learn something new. You might be amazed at what is being discussed when your full attention is on your loved ones instead of your head being bent down while typing on a cellphone. Be present always!!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

February 19, 2011


Foibles! Isn't that a fun word? It just popped into my head, and something inside told me to write about foibles. First one must understand the meaning of the word, foible. According to Webster's New World Dictionary, a foible is a small weakness in character. Now, after understanding the definition of the word, I think it is pretty safe to say that everyone has at least one foible.

Some of us have an easier time distinguishing our foibles than others. For instance, I am extremely emotional and very sensitive. My feelings get hurt very easily, and it is nothing for me to be crying my eyes out during any kind of movie. It doesn't matter if it's the latest version of Toy Story which is a kid's movie, or a drama, such as Eat, Pray, Love; I will be bawling my eyes out. Watch out what you say to me, because if you say the wrong words, I will become hurt and offended. Usually I will act angry and horrified by what was just said, but after I go home and digest the offense, my sensitivity kicks in and that is when the hurt takes over.

Foibles are a way of recognizing the fact that we are human, and they show us that we have feelings. At least that is what my foibles do. However, we never want our foibles to control our lives. We should be in control of the foible. Once one recognizes what type of foible he or she may possess then it becomes easier to control ourselves in difficult situations. For instance, since I know that one of my foibles is sensitivity. I know to be aware of situations that may upset me. Maybe there are certain people I do not get along with, and I know that I am going to have to attend a function where that person will be in attendance. Since this person may have caused me emotional turmoil in the past, I know to be on the defensive when I am around them. I don't have to be cold and callous toward the person, but I can be on the look-out for words that he or she might say to upset me. Through time, I have recognized words people use toward me to get my dander up. Instead of reacting in a negative manner, I have learned to ignore such comments, and now I can change the subject in the blink of an eye.

Don't look at your foibles as a hinderance, but embrace them and learn from them! Be tolerant of other people's foibles. Sometimes, people have foibles, and they do not even realize it. Just remember that everyone is human, and we each make mistakes. Look at foibles as a new learning experience.

February 18, 2011


As I was racking my brain trying to think of something to write about for today, an event that happened several months ago popped into my head. It was during a spat with a family member, and the person asked me why we have not visited them recently. You would think that such a question would not even need to be asked considering the hell my family has walked through in the past year. I am really sorry if my family has been a little preoccupied with other things, such as chemotherapy and radiation treatments which consisted of driving back and forth to the hospital which was located 75 miles away from our home which resulted in us driving 150 miles roundtrip on a daily basis Monday through Friday for six consecutive weeks. Not to mention, once my husband's treatments ended, he started back to work full-time right away. By the time he gets home in the evening after working eight to 10 hours each day, it is pretty safe to say that after dinner the last thing my husband wants to think about is having to go back out to entertain family with a visit. Some evenings, my husband falls asleep on the recliner minutes after eating a small meal.

But back to the topic of today. You are probably wondering how my little story above relates to living your life instead of merely existing. Well, during this little family squabble, I tried to explain to this family member that we (meaning my family) does not visit anyone unless we are invited to their homes. My family member looked at me and said, "Well, that must a lonely existence." And this is how I came up with today's topic. Live your life instead of merely existing.

Now from an outsider's point of view, my family's life may look like a lonely form of existence. However, my family has been through so much in the past year that we cherish each other's company. We love to spend time with each other. We are so grateful that my husband is still here with us on this planet that we no longer take any moment for granted. We are not lonely in each other's company! Each day when we are separated through school and work, we look forward to that time when we are all back at home in the evenings in order to be near each other, to laugh together, and to spend time with each other.

My family member may live a lonely existence without the presence of outsiders in her life. However, my family is very content with each other in the confines of our home. We love each other dearly, and we do not need anyone's approval to live a happy, joy-filled life. We are living our lives to the fullest everyday, and we are doing more than just existing. Live your life to the fullest, and do more than just existing!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

February 17. 2011


So many times in life we find ourselves in opposition with other people. In difficult situations, try to be the person who keeps the peace. Sometimes, it can be extremely difficult to be the person who keeps quiet or the person who walks away. However, you will probably feel a whole lot better if you choose to be the bigger person who keeps his or her cool.

Sometimes, it is easy after a confrontation to alienate yourself from the person who came against you, and in some circumstances it is probably better to stay away from that person. However, if you find that you are going to have to deal with this person in the near future either at work or at a family function, sometimes, it is better if you are the first one to make the first move at forgiveness, an apology, or trying to mend the fences.

Now, I would never recommend this if you would be putting yourself in harms way. Your first and foremost concern should be to keep yourself and your family safe, so this only works on possibly verbal confrontations never physical confrontations. I am speaking of the family, coworker, or friend verbal spat NOT physical abuse!

It can be extremely difficult to make the first move. If you are not comfortable picking up the telephone and calling the other person, maybe, you could send the person you had the argument with an email or letter through the regular mail. Sometimes, these attempts do not work, and the other person will ignore your attempts to make peace. But be assured within your own heart that you tried, and that is all that matters. If you forgave the person who hurt you, then you can move on with your life, and you can forget the confrontation ever happened. God will know that you tried to be the bigger person, and that you tried to keep the peace!

February 16, 2011


Do you ever find yourself becoming overwhelmed by life's trials and tribulations? Do you feel like you can never catch a break? Do you feel like there is constantly something negative happening in your life? Well, my friend, you are in the same boat as many people in this beautiful world. Learn to take one day at a time, and maybe, life's situations will not seem so bad.

The last three years for my family have been extremely overwhelming, stressful, and emotionally and physically draining. It all started when my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2008, and she moved in with my family during her chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Three months after my mother moved back into her own home, and I got back to work full-time, after having taken a leave of absence, my back became injured which required me to quit my job which left me laid up for nine months healing and with no income. Then two months after I get back to work after my back injury, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Now that he is well, and you would think I would finally be able to return to work full-time, we find out that my mother needs to have surgery next month, and I may need to have surgery on my back injury because it is getting worse. These last three years have seemed like a never ending cycle of doom.

So many people have asked me in the past year how I have been able to handle my husband's cancer diagnosis along with his treatment process. All I am able to tell them is I take one day at a time. Some days might seem unbearable; for instance, the day my husband had his major surgery nearly a year ago, but you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you take one day at a time. If one day seems like too much to handle all at once, then take one hour at a time or one minute at a time. Try not to concentrate on the problem too much. Just take each circumstance, each situation as it comes. Slow down, and do not worry about tomorrow. Take one day at a time!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

February 15, 2011


Does it feel like no matter what you do some kind of drama always seems to follow you? There always seems to be a person in your life who is constantly bringing a battle your way. Then when that battle is over someone else brings a different battle your way. That is how my life was for years. I used to think I had a huge "kick me" sign plastered to my back or a tattoo on my forehead that read, "Use me and abuse me" that only my adversaries could see. However, what I failed to realize is that I was allowing the drama into my life on my own accord.

One may not understand how an individual could allow drama into his or her life. Isn't drama something that someone else creates and brings it to you? That is true; however, the only way drama can exist is if you allow it into your life. If you stop entertaining those who bring the drama your way, the drama cannot exist. If you stop the drama and do not allow it to cause negative circumstances in your life, the drama will go away. The person administering the drama will have to take it somewhere else, because it will no longer be able to manifest into anything larger than possibly a comment or a phrase.

Once you learn how to recognize the people who bring drama into your life it will be easy to see when they are trying to sabotage your life with drama. When this happens, all you need to do is tell that person that you no longer allow drama in your life. More than likely, they will go away. They will soon understand that you are not going to allow that kind of negativity into your life. Don't allow these people the satisfaction of robbing you of happiness. Just remember, the only way drama can exist is if you allow it into your life!

February 14, 2011


Today is Valentine's Day, the universal day of love! As I racked my brain about what to write one word kept coming back to me over and over again: LOVE! If there is one topic to talk about today it has to be love, but what about love? As I started writing my blog, I started describing the holiday and how people celebrate the day; however, those words did not seem fitting, so I started over again and again. Then these words popped in my head. Spend time with those you love!

One does not need to spend a lot of money on a holiday such as today to prove how much they love their loved ones. Love is not proven with fancy trinkets and lavish jewels. Time is all one needs to show how much they truly care. Just being near the people you love with all your heart and soul should be enough to prove how much you love them.

Tonight my husband, son, and I shared a nice homecooked meal, and then we hung out in the living room while watching one of my husband's favorite movies, K-9 with James Belushi. Just being together as a family was all we needed.

Spending time together is a wonderful way of showing your loved ones that you truly care about them. Whether it's a holiday such as today or just an ordinary day, spending time with those you love will create memories that will last a lifetime!

February 13, 2011


Do you find yourself deep in thought during most of the hours of each of your days? If so, those thoughts may be robbing you of precious moments of your life. You may not realize it, but when you are replaying thoughts from the past or future within your mind, you are not in the present moment which some call the now.

Some of us get so caught up in our "so-called" problems that this is all we focus on 24 hours a day. Dwelling on our problems cannot only steal valuable time, but it may also deprive us of sleep. From not getting enough sleep from dwelling on all the stresses within our lives, serious health issues may arise causing even more drastic problems than the issue that we started with which may have been small and petty in comparison.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Don't sweat the small stuff"? If you analyze your problems, you may be surprised how many of your issues are truly problems. If you or someone you love are not suffering through a life-threatening illness and if you have no major physical disabilities, it is fairly safe to say that most of your problems are probably minor.

Have you ever asked yourself what problem you have right now? In this very second, what issue needs to be solved? Once we stop and analyze what issues we have in this exact minute in time, we suddenly realize there usually is no problem right now.

In my own life, my biggest worry is money. I am always stressing at least a month in advance about how I am going to pay next month's payments. What I need to do is realize God sends me what I need when I need it. I might not have much left over when the bills are paid, but each month the bills get paid.

Ask yourself if you live in the now, or are your precious moments being spent worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. Yesterday is gone and cannot return, tomorrow is never promised, so live for today. Live in the NOW!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

February 12, 2011


Do you ever find  yourself explaining everything you choose to do in life to everyone you know including your enemies? The older I get, I realize that I do not need to tell everyone the reason why I do certain things. For instance, today I found myself in deep thought realizing that I am 38 years old, and I do not owe an explanation to anyone especially to people who barely know me.

Early this morning, I received an email from my neighbor who I mentioned in last night's post. In her message, she was questioning the legitimacy of my family donating medical supplies to a two year-old little boy who lives by being fed through a feeding tube. In her message she stated that she did not believe me, because she had never heard of anyone donating feeding tube bags and formula to other people. So, early this morning, I was sitting at my computer typing a rather lenghthy message explaining to her the charitable foundation we were using and what we were doing. I was desperately trying to construct a message, so she would understand why my family was trying to help this little boy. After sending this message, it occurred to me that I do not owe this lady any kind of explanation. It is my family's business who we choose to help in life, and it is no one else's concern.

Then later this evening, I came across the following quote, "Never explain; your friends won't need one and your enemies won't believe it anyway." I am not sure who wrote this, but it fits perfectly with what I was experiencing today. I do not owe my neighbor any kind of explanation about anything I choose to do in my lifetime. This lady barely knows me. The only thing we share in common is a property line which separates our homes.

If you are happy with the choices you are making in  your own life, then that is all that matters. Do not get caught up in what other people think. If they do not believe you, do not spend hours of your precious time trying to explain to them why you choose to do this or that. All that matters is that you are happy with your own decisions. Do not feel that you owe everyone some type of explanation about everything you do!

Friday, February 11, 2011

February 11, 2011


Have you ever become offended by words that someone may have spoken to you? There is probably not a person on this planet with the exception of a baby who has not been offended by other people's remarks. Remember when you were a kid, and adults used to say, "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words may never harm you." I am sure that these adults meant well; however, words can cut like a knife, and these words can leave a permanent scar on your heart if you allow it. Don't allow these remarks to change the person who you really are! Brush off these rude remarks and move ahead with your life!

This past week has been a challenge for me concerning this topic. First, I received several messages from my neighbor voicing on my facebook wall about my family's stray cats pooping in her yard. She didn't just send one message, so the world could read. She posted three messages for my profile friends to read. Now, this all stemmed from a status update I posted saying I had caught the stray cats finally after a year of trying to catch them and was wondering if anyone would want one or would know where I could find them a home to live.

Then a few days later, the same neighbor posted a very rude comment about another of my status updates which asked my facebook friends to please say a prayer for a two year-old little boy from Florida who had to fed through a stomach tube. The little boy's father had contacted my husband through The Oley Foundation which helps people to find others who may need leftover medical supplies, such as feeding tube bags and formula. Since my husband had to be fed through a stomach tube for several months after his surgery, we had some extra supplies leftover. So, the boy's father contacted us and asked if we would be willing to send him our extra supplies. However, back to my neighbor, she stated that she hoped that this wasn't a scam. Now, all I did was ask my friends to pray for a little boy. I never asked them for money. I never asked them for help. All I asked was for them to send out a prayer to the Universe. However, this "friend" felt I was trying to "scam" people.

Now, I could sit back and digest these negative, rude remarks that my neigbor wrote all over my facebook wall, but I am choosing to ignore her comments. I am choosing to brush them off. I could send her a message stating how rude I felt her comments were, but what would that solve? That would only cause friction between my family and my neighbor's family. There is an important lesson in this situation; pick your battles wisely. Since I no longer want drama or battles in my life, I am going to brush off those rude comments and move on!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

February 10, 2011


Have you ever heard the saying that holding a grudge only hurts one person, the person who is holding it? Grudges breed only negative behaviors, such as hatred, bitterness, and resentment. One can lose a lot of time and energy while holding a grudge. You may be thinking, well, you have no idea how this or that person hurt me. You are right. I do not know how people have hurt you in the past, but I can speak from my own personal experiences that I know how hurt feels.

It is our decision what we do with this hurt. We can learn to hate, or we can learn the life experience that God might be trying to teach us. Every situation in life has a learning experience, and through time, it gets a little easier to recognize what it is that God is trying to teach us.

For the past 20 years, I could have been named the Queen of Grudges. If someone ticked me off, I was quick to let them know how they offended me, and that I would never speak to them again. However, once your life's perspectives get put into order, and you start realizing what is important and what is not so important in life, one's outlook on grudges change.

Let me tell you a little story about how holding a grudge will hurt the person who is holding the grudge. My husband's first chemotherapy treatments were scheduled to start of Christmas Eve of 2009. My husband's sister, who lives in New York, was visiting other relatives in our Pennsylvania town the week before Christmas. Since my husband's chemo treatments were planned to start on Christmas Eve, I thought that his sister would visit before the treatments started, or I thought she would stop in at the hospital during his treatments. However, this was not going to happen. She called the night before Christmas Eve and stated that she was leaving to go back home to New York the next morning, Christmas Eve. I became irate! How dare she leave town without visiting her brother who had been diagnosed with cancer, and who was starting the most horrific battle of his life! In my mind, this was the most inconsiderate gesture I had ever seen anyone make. The next day while my husband was getting pumped with chemotherapy drugs, I am in the restroom getting sick because of my anger toward his sister.

In this scenario, who was I hurting? I was only hurting myself. I should have been sitting beside my husband and holding his hand instead of vomitting in the restroom. Grudges do not solve anything. They simply take away precious time that we could be spending with the people we love. Do not waste your time holding a grudge against anyone!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

February 9, 2011


Do you ever find yourself apologizing to the same person over and over again? If you are like me, there is probably at least one person in your life who you keep apologizing to; however, it is as if your words fall upon def ears. Sometimes, we apologize for things we don't even know why we are apologizing. Someone will get offended or angry at us, and we keep apologizing for something we don't even know what we did wrong. And most of the time the person we are apologizing to, will not offer up an explanation of what we did wrong. I have this funny feeling that we did nothing wrong. That is why they cannot tell us what we did wrong.

If you feel the need to apologize, then do so. However, once the words are said, written, or typed and sent in the other person's direction, let it go! Don't keep going back and apologizing over and over again. Apologize once and move on. If you have done something wrong, and you take full responsbility and own up to the situation then you do not need to do anymore. An apology should be enough for the receiver.

However, some people will never accept an apology no matter how many times you try to apologize. And whatever you do, do not apologize for something in which you have no control over. Do not be the scapegoat like I discussed in my last post. Some people like to see others miserable and unhappy, so they will refuse to hear what you have to say. Don't fall for their trap! If you need to apologize to someone, do so, then move on with your life! Do not dwell on their negativity if they choose not to accept your apology. You have done your part, so let it go!

February 8, 2011


Have you ever found yourself being blamed for situations in which you had no control over? Do you ever accept blame which is not even yours in order to keep peace among friends or family members? A person who accepts the blame for a situation in which he or she has no control is called a scapegoat. Well, I say from this day forward, stop being the scapegoat.

All my life I have struggled with being the scapegoat for someone. There always seemed to be some kind of drama surrounding me in which I never asked to be part of. However, one does not have to live a life of accepting other people's blame. One does not have to be a scapegoat forever. Being a scapegoat is a personal decision, and once you have had enough, and you finally take a stand to those doing the blaming, those doing the blaming will be forced to find another poor soul to blame. If you do not play into the blamer's drama and negative behaviors, he or she will be forced to find someone who is willing to play the games.

Lots of times when people have a low self-esteem, they will take the role of scapegoat in order to try to fit in to a group. However, most times the group is never fully accepting of the scapegoat, and the scapegoat still remains an outsider while looking into the group's activities. Even if the group finally allows the scapegoat "in" before long the scapegoat will be blamed for somthing else and once again pushed to the wayside.

Don't even get involved with such behavior. Love yourself for who you are! You don't need a nonaccepting group to prove your worth! As Joel Osteen always says in all his books, "You are a child of the Most High God!" DO NOT accept blame for something in which you have no control over! Stop being the scapegoat to people who do not want to accept their own responsibilities!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

February 7, 2011


I will apologize first thing for not keeping up-to-date with all of my postings. I will try to get better with this in the near futute. I would have posted a blog last night, but I had to walk away from the computer to keep from getting angry with a post someone posted on my facebook wall.

How many times have you ever bitten your tongue, in other words refrained from speaking, in order to keep peace with someone? In my younger years, blurting out my every opinion was an extremely bad habit in which I possessed. I didn't care who the words were directed to; if they were true, I was going to tell them about it. As I have been getting older, I have learned to pick my battles. Some battles or arguments are not worth the time nor the energy.

No matter where we go in life, no matter what we do in life, someone will more than likely bring opposition into our lives. It is up to us how we are going to deal with this opposition. Are we going to yell and scream at the person, or are we going to grin and bare the temporary inconvenience of someone being upset with us, get over it, and move on?

I recommend the latter. If we decided to become defensive and yell back, we are only hurting ourselves. If we grin and bare the circumstance, we might be able to avoid lots of negative issues which may arise from us losing our tempers. Had I taken my own advice, several friendships could have been saved this past year. However, people offended me, and I let them know about it. Had I bitten my tongue, I could have kept peace, and our friendships might have been saved.

Learn to bite your tongue and walk away from someone's anger toward you. You might be able to keep the peace.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

February 6, 2011


Today is The Big Game! I would type the other words; however, they are copyrighted and trademarked, so I will just call it The Big Game (football...for those of you who do not follow sports). Halfway through the fourth quarter, I looked at my husband and son and announced that the game was over. My husband yelled at me to NEVER give up hope, because there was plenty of time left in the game for our team to capture the win. Which got me to thinking about my post for today. Never give up hope!

How many of us give up right before our big break in life? There have been many times in my own life when I quit a job in which I should have kept, or I quit college when I should have kept on studying those books. Many times in life, we give up right before God is ready to give us our blessings. Sometimes, it seems easier to quit and walk away than to keep trudging up the same, steep, path. Never lose sight of your dreams and your goals. Always keep pushing forward and moving ahead.

For so many people in our country as well as other parts of the world, hope is the only thing in which these people possess. Hope is what keeps a smile on their faces each and every day. Hope gives them the realization that tomorrow may be a brighter day. When taking my husband for his chemotherapy and radiation treatments, we met many people who had one thing left in their lives, and that one thing was hope. I remember one gentlemen in particular who was diagnosed with brain cancer. He told me that the doctors gave him six months to live. However, this man was not taking the doctor's words to heart. He was believing in a Higher Power who was granting him hope every day during his struggle to beat this disease. He told me that he had hope, and he knew that he was going to win the battle. Some people may never face such a struggle in his or her life, and I pray you never have to walk that road. If you know someone who is facing a struggle in his or her life, give them hope to keep keeping on.

As for the Big Game, my team was not able to make the big win tonight; however, they played with passion and gave it their all, and there is always HOPE that they will win big next year.

Never give up hope! Sometimes, it is all we have.

February 5, 2011


Did you ever hear the saying, "Real men do not cry"? Well, I have to disagree with this saying. All the "real" men I have ever known in my life have shed a few tears in their lifetime. My father was a wonderful man, and I saw him cry on several occasions before he passed on. My husband is another wonderful, strong, and "real" man, and he has cried a few times in the 20 years that we have been together. Crying is not always a negative reaction to life's circumstances. Sometimes, people cry because they are happy, sad, or frightened. Crying is God's way of showing us that we have emotions otherwise known as feelings.

Think of a happy occasion when you cryed tears of joy. Maybe it was at your high school or college graduation, because you were excited about reaching that goal. Maybe it was at your wedding, or at the doctors office when you found out you were expecting your first child. Maybe you cried during the birth of your first child or grandchild. Some people cry during dramatical movies or plays, because something during the performance reminds them of something that may be happening in their lives.

However, we cry when sad occasions occur as well. For instance, maybe you cried when a loved one passed on. Maybe you cried when a friend or family member turned his or her back on you and walked out of your life. I know from personal experience, my husband and I both cried in the doctors office when he found out the results of his biopsy, and it turned out to be cancer.

Many people cry during a frightening experience. I remember breaking down into tears immediately after being in a car accident. Some people or children may cry when watching a scary movie, or while possibly experiencing a change in their lives.

Tears help us relieve tension and stress. Tears allow us to realize that we are human, and that we have human emotions. Tears are not always a "bad" thing. It is ok to cry whether because you are happy, sad, or frightened. As I stated above, tears are God's reminder that we have feelings!

Friday, February 4, 2011

February 4, 2011


Have you ever had a close friend or family member walk out of your life when you needed him or her the most? It seems like when we are facing our toughest battles is when people will turn their backs and will walk out of our lives. Some of us are blessed with caring, loving, friends and family members who stay by our sides through thick and thin. However, others of us may not have the advantage of being blessed with such people.  If you are one of the people who have witnessed loved ones walking out of your life during a time of need, always remember that God is there for you! God is only a "hello" away, so start relying on and conversing with Him.

In the past  year, more friends and family members walked out of my family's life than any other time in history. Why? Because my family was facing the biggest struggle we have ever faced since my husband and I met over 20 years ago. Maybe God shows us who our true friends are during our most difficult periods in life. Many times we go through life thinking that those we surround ourselves with truly care about our well-being. However, when faced with a life-threatening illness, a financial crisis, a divorce, or any type of temporary inconvenience, we soon find out who is willing to stand by us, and who is willing to encourage us to keeping fighting each and every day just to get through.

If you find yourself in a situation like I described above, please do not feel like you are alone. You are never alone as long as you remember that God is there to help you through anything life might throw your way. All you have to do is say, "Hello, God," and He will answer. Sometimes we have to get quiet and relax our thoughts in order to hear God say "Hello" back, but if you listen you might be blessed to hear his voice. When people let you down, turn their backs, and walk away from you forever, find someone else to listen to your pain and suffering. God is only a "hello" away, so cry out and give your troubles to Him.

February 3, 2011


How many times do you try to fit into a group that is not willing to accept you for who you are? Do you find yourself on the outside of a group while attempting to look inside as through a telescope? Do you feel that the only way other groups will accept you is by changing your personality to suit their needs? If you have to change who you are by pretending to be someone who you are not, then do not change. Do not become a "fake" person just to fit into a group of people who God may not want you to associate with in the first place.

For the last 20 years, I have been trying to fit into my husband's family. For some reason in which I am unaware, many of my husband's family members have stressed that they do not like me. However, the only ratioanl explanation I receive from any of them is they do not like me because they feel that I feel that I am better than the rest of them. Well, had they ever gotten to know me, they would know that I have a low self-esteem, and I would never feel as if I am better than another person. I will be the first to admit that I make different choices in my life than they do, and I am unwilling to change my beliefs, and I am unwilling to change my moral character in order to fit into any group. So, by distancing myself from the majority, they have already concluded that I am "stuck up" without knowing who I am. However, through time, one learns to accept such rejection. It may be hard during the holidays to be excluded from family gatherings; however, I refuse to become someone I am not in order to attend a few holiday meals.

God made us who we are for a purpose. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to figure out what our purpose is here on this Earth. For the past 38 years, I have been struggling to find my "true" purpose in life, but maybe I am searching to hard. Maybe, my purpose is just to spread a little happiness into another's world. Maybe, my purpose is to just be there for another when he or she may be in need. Maybe, my purpose is to let the children whom I work with know that they are special and to let them know there is someone in the world who is cheering them on to succeed in life.

If I were to change who I am (my true authentic self), then I may let down a lot of people who like me for who I am. Do not change who you are just to fit in to a group who will never accept you in the first place. Like Jesus said, "Shake the dust from your feet and move on." Do not dwell on those who will not accept you, but bless those who like you and who love you for who you are.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

February 2, 2011


Did you know that happiness is a choice? It took me nearly 37 years to figure this out. Up until a year ago, I was nearly miserable everyday of my life. I was constantly searching for that "thing" that would make me happy. No matter what I did or tried, and no matter what my husband did to try to make me happy, nothing seemed to work. Everyday was like a mission to find happiness. At first I thought that living in the middle of a busy, crowded town was making me unhappy, so 11 years ago we moved to the country. I was still unhappy. Then I thought maybe it was the vehicle I was driving that made me unhappy, so we would buy new vehicles. Still unhappiness prevailed. So, I thought maybe if I surrounded myself with nice "things," such as artwork or beautiful figurines, I would become happy. Still no change.

Then I started to read some books this past summer, and one in particular changed my life. Spiritual Liberation by Michael Bernard Beckwith changed my attitude toward life. I will never forget the day it happened. It was the end of June, and I was sitting on my deck having a cup of coffee reading this new book that just seemed to jump out at me at the bookstore the day before. Michael Bernard Beckwith's words were mesmerizing me, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I finally got it after 37 years of searching for happiness.

I WAS IN CHARGE OF MY HAPPINESS! It was a choice that I had to make! No one else could make me happy, and happiness was never going to come from inanimate objects. Happiness lives within each person on this planet, and each of us has the ability to be happy or to live a life of misery.

After reading Rev. Beckwith's book, different phrases or quotes would start showing up on my facebook wall that different friends would post. Each quote was relevant to a situation that I may be facing that day. Then one day as I was surfing the web, I found the following quote:

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition" (Martha Washington).

So, face each day with a smile no matter what you may be going through. I know some days seem to be more unbearable than others, but if you try to face each of those days with a smile, each day will be that much better. Happiness truly is a choice, so choose to be happy regardless of the struggles you may be facing today.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

February 1, 2011


With this new technological age and the onset of social networking over the internet, one might feel that he or she has been blessed with hundreds or maybe even thousands of friends. I will admit that I am a member of facebook, and as of today, I have 72 online friends. My nephew has over 1,000 online friends on this social network. However, I ask you this question. How many of those people care about you and your well-being? If you have had a time of need, a crisis, or just someone you needed to talk to, how many of those people are there for you? How many of those people visit you, hang out with you, or call you on the phone and listen to you vent? Yes, you may get an occassional comment to one of your status updates, but how many of those people really know you? How many of them cherish you as one of their personal friends? How many of those people who are your "so-called" friends do you cherish?

My answer to my own question is, "Not many." There may be a handful of people on my facebook profile who are truly my friends. Not many of them go out of their way to send me a message to see how I am doing, to see how my son is doing, or to see how my husband is doing after his treatments have ended. However, I am just as guilty as everyone else in this scenario, because rarely do I send messages to my online friends.

This scenario is not only limited to social networking sites. How many of your co-workers do you know? Do you know your neighbors? How many of your family members do you "really" know? The list could go on and on, but I am sure there are a few people in this world who truly do care about you and your well-being. Cherish those people! Remember those people during the holidays and during their birthdays! Do something nice for those who help you with your needs! For instance, my husband's co-workers were extremely supportive throughout his treatment process and surgery. At Christmas time, I baked cookies, and my husband and I made platters of cookies and candy to share with his employees. One of my social network friends was very supportive throughout my husband's illness, and we did the same for his family. You do not have to go out and buy lavish gifts to repay those who have been there for you, but do cherish them! If you cannot afford to buy or make them something, then just remind them on a regular basis how much they mean to you. A little thank you goes a long way. Cherish those people who care about you and your well-being!