February 20, 2011

"BE PRESENT!"

One may think that this post resembles a prior post about being in the Now; and in a way, it does. However, I would like to talk about being present among your family and friends. One can be in the Now, but still not be present in certain circumstances. Let me try to explain.

Two nights before my husband's surgery, my husband, son, and I went out to dinner with a family member and her boyfriend. The entire time we were with our family members they were not present. Now, we all were in the same restaurant, sitting at the same table; however, these other family members were not present during our evening out. They were preoccupied by other devices, such as text messages, cellphones, and vehicles driving by as we ate. My husband and I tried to start conversations with these people, but they were too busy wrapped up in their own little world. The lady, who will remain nameless, would not put her cellphone down. Numerous text messages came in from the time we met at the restaurant until the time we parted ways, and instead of her ignoring them and answering them at a later time, she decided to take our valuable time together and spend the entire time on the phone. Her boyfriend was too busy watching the vehicles pass by the restaurant, so no conversations were being stirred from his side of the table. My husband and I glanced at each other from time to time in the 60 minutes that we were together with these people, as if reading each other's minds as to say, "what the heck is happening here."

There have been several times since that night out that the female family  member has asked me out to lunch; however, I have politely turned down her offer. If someone cannot put their cellphone away for 30 to 60 minutes while we converse and have a nice meal, then I have to pass up the offer and realize that my time is much more valuable than sitting there watching her text message other people. I want my friends and family members to be present during our time together.

I do have to admit that I did fall into the text messaging trap a few years ago, and it drove my husband and son insane! They were constantly yelling at me to put away my cellphone, and to hang out with them even though I was sitting at the table with them. Now, I understand that I may have been sitting next to them at the same table and in the same restaurant, but I wasn't present. I wasn't there listening to what they were discussing. I was in my own little world living my own little drama with people whom could wait till I had free time. Don't be afraid to put away the cellphone. Be in the present with your friends and family members! You might just learn something new. You might be amazed at what is being discussed when your full attention is on your loved ones instead of your head being bent down while typing on a cellphone. Be present always!!!