Monday, April 18, 2011

April 17, 2011


Yesterday was a day of melancholy, and today was a day of anger and bitterness. I went from feeling sorry for myself, because my family never gets invited to extended family functions, to the feelings of irritation to all those who refuse to include my family into their lives. Shouldn't my husband's family include him in family celebrations after his recent battle with his illness? One would think that if something was going to wake up a group of people, cancer should surely get the job done. However, this has never happened, and these people's lack of concern has left me bitter and angry. In our darkest hour, we need to listen to those who love us the most.

My husband and son reassured me in the midst of my bad day that they love me with all their hearts, and what other people think should not matter. These words should soon be sinking into my thick skull, because I have been reading self-help and inspirational books for this purpose for a very long time. When I allow other people to influence my moods, it puts a wedge between myself and my husband and son. These bad moods rob me of good times with my family, because I am so involved with my negative thoughts that I cannot focus on having a good time at the present moment. I am too busy being angry at people who do not even know that I am ticked off at them. They came into my life for a brief moment to destroy a little more of my self-esteem, then they go off and continue to live their happy little lives while laughing and making jokes about how they ripped me down once again. It seems that once people realize you have a low self-esteem, you will forever be a target for their attacks unless you decide to put an end to such negative behavior that comes into your life.

How do you stop these attacks? You cut off all contact with these people who cause you such hurt in your life. I know this can be a difficult task, because you will always think of something you feel you need to say to these people. When you feel the urge to contact these people, find something else to occupy your time. If you feel the need to write them an email, a text message, or to call them, do something different with your time. I have to realize these people do not care what I have to say, so I need to stop trying to convince them that I am a good person. You should never have to try to convince others that they should be your friend. If people do not accept you for who you are, then you do not need those people in your life.

Pay attention to and listen to those people who have already accepted you for who you are. These people should be the only ones who truly matter. They are the ones who love you unconditionally, so do not take their love for granted. Listen to those who love you!

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