April 25, 2011

"LET PEOPLE MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS!"

How many times in life do we feel that we know what is best for another person? Do you ever find yourself saying, "If I were you, I would do this or that". The fact of the matter is we are not that other person, and we may not know what is good for that other person. However, there are exceptions such as raising children and teenagers. They will need guidance from a loving adult in making important decisions throughout their life. However, certain people like our grown, adult friends and family members may not need us telling them how to live their lives every day of the year. Let these people make their own decisions in life.

I used to work at a juvenile detention center, and there was one thing the employees were forbidden to do, and that was give the residents advice. My supervisors explained to me that we might think we are doing a good deed by offering the residents advice; however, if our advice failed, then the residents would look down on us and would blame us for giving out advice which did not work. We taught the residents that they had to be the ones who made the proper decisions in life. The choices they had made up to this point in their lives had not worked, because they were locked up away from society. We as staff members were allowed to provide the resident with different life skills or scenarios that might work in different situations, but we were never allowed to give advice.

How many times do we offer people advice when they truly do not want the advice. We feel compelled to offer up our opinion when our opinion may not be welcome in our friend's life. We might think that we mean well, but if someone does not specifically ask us for our advice then there is a huge chance that they might want to work out things on their own. Don't be afraid to take a step back and allow our loved ones to make their own decisions in life.