December 31, 2013

NEW WORD/PHRASE FOR A NEW YEAR!

It's hard to believe that in a few hours we will be saying good bye to 2013 and hello to 2014! This year has flown right by! For the past three years, I have chosen a word that helps to get me through the year. This all started in 2011 after my husband's bout with cancer. I decided that 2011 would be the most positive year of my life thus far, so in 2011, my word for the year was "Positive!" In 2012, I chose the word, "Love!" This past year, I chose a phrase which was, "Let Go!" So with this new year approaching very rapidly, I have decided to choose a phrase once again! My new phrase for 2014 will be:

"Acceptance of Things in which I Cannot Change!"

Not only will I let this new phrase help me through this new year, I will also continue to learn and grow from the past words and phrases that have helped me in the last three years!

If you choose a word or phrase to help you through 2014, I would love to hear about it! Please feel free to leave a comment! Happy New Year to you all!

December 29, 2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS THAT HAVE BEEN ON MY MIND!

The older I get the one thing that keeps getting me more and more confused is human relationships. When I was younger, a teenager and even in my 20's and early 30's, I was a fairly social creature. My husband and I would have friends and family to our home for birthday parties and dinners, and once in a while, the invitation would be returned and we would go to the family member's home or our friend's home for the same. In the last few years, this sort of action has ceased. In my family's defense, we no longer can afford to have dinners and parties. However, it seems that once we stopped inviting, the invitations to others homes stopped as well. 

Even now, when I invite friends out for coffee or lunch, they tell me that they would like to go; however, once the invitation is given by me, it seems to be forgotten. For instance, nearly a year ago, I invited a friend to meet me for coffee. She was having some issues, and I thought she might need a friend to talk to. I invited her at the end of March. She told me that she would let me now in mid-April of when would be a good time to meet, because she was very busy. Well, it's now the end of December, and I still have not heard back from her about our coffee date, and I do not feel the need to keep begging. This happens all the time with me. I'll invite someone, and I never hear back.

I'm not sure how to take all these rejections. Maybe, it's just time to find new friends. However, I wouldn't even begin to understand how to do that. My husband seems to believe that people only know us when they need or want something. That seems to be true. However, in the new year, I will have to put all these broken friendships behind me, and just focus on the two people who definitely want me in their lives....my husband and son! 

ONCE YOU GIVE UP THE NEED TO BE ACCEPTED, 

YOUR HEART CAN BEGIN TO HEAL!

Isn't that what we all want? We want to be accepted into that special group of friends or into the extended family. When that doesn't happen. What happens to you? You become heart-broken, bitter, insensitive, rebellious, and possibly even revengeful! Is this truly how you want to live the rest of your life? Do you want to feel needless pain every day? I hope your answer is, "NO!" Once you give up the NEED to be accepted by people who are unwilling to accept you, then that is when your heart can truly heal! 

This has always been a struggle of mine....ACCEPTANCE! I never felt like I "fit in" anywhere including in my own family. For years I would be sucked into pointless drama, and of course, I would always be the one who would get blamed for creating the drama even if I was an innocent bystander. One day a light went off in my head, and I asked my husband, "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I keep getting blamed for drama that I don't even start?" My husband's lesson to me that day was, "Because you allow it to happen. You are an easy target, so they (the drama creators) will suck you in and blame you regardless of what you may try to do with good intentions." Hmmmm..........could this be true? Was I allowing the drama into my own life? Of course I was! My need for acceptance, my need to be liked, was creating me pain instead of the happiness that I so wanted to feel. I needed a change. 

What did I do? I stopped! I stopped associating with the people who were constantly sucking me into needless drama and who were constantly blaming me for things in which I had no control over. I stopped NEEDING to be accepted and stopped NEEDING to be liked! If people could not accept me for who I am, then they do not deserve to have me in their life. I had to learn to accept me for who I am.....a loving, caring individual who is so willing to help others, who wants to lift others up from being in the same darkness that I struggled through. Learn to accept yourself then you will no longer NEED to be accepted by people who will never truly accept you for who you are. Find people who want to get to know the real you! Break those chains and be you...be happy without the drama! Once you give up that NEED to be accepted, your heart will mend and heal, and you will find the happiness that you were struggling to find!