Tuesday, May 8, 2012

May 8, 2012


How much of your time do you waste thinking about time long gone? Do you let your thoughts of yesterday ruin your today? I know in the last month I have been living more in the past than in the present. I was allowing those thoughts to overtake my emotions, and I have not been a very pleasant person to be around. I was letting those old, negative thought patterns to rule over my life once again. I have to get out of the past and cherish each of my days in the NOW! 

In the past, I have had issues with such things as inferiority complex...a thing I like to call "the not 'good enough' syndrome" as well as low self-esteem, and self-doubt. I truly have been my own worst enemy. I would beat up on myself long after my enemies ripped me apart emotionally. I would just add my own self-inflicted injury to their insults. And this is what I started doing again in this last month that I have not been writing my blog. 

I was taking people's rejection of me way too personally. Instead of accepting that some people will never be my friend no matter what good I try to do, I was trying to think of ways to sabotage my own life just to make people I very rarely see happy. I was allowing the feelings of a few outweigh the needs of my own immediate family. I had to put myself in the shoes of my husband and son, and I had to take a walk in their shoes. I had to change my perspective, and I had to start listening to the words my husband has been telling me for years. The only people who matter are the three people who reside in our home: my husband, my son, and myself! No outside forces shall come against us, and I would be a complete idiot to allow any outside forces to ruin what took us 22 years to build. 

It's time for me to get out of the past and to live in the present! It is time for me to LOVE each day and cherish the two people I LOVE and who LOVE me the most in the world! 

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