Monday, May 16, 2011

May 16, 2011


In the past few years, it seems as if my life has become stagnated. It started when I closed the doors of my in-home daycare. My  very successful in-home daycare, I might add. Four months after I closed the doors, I started working at a juvenile detention center which is totally a whole other realm than watching little kids. However, I enjoyed my job working with juvenile delinquents, and my career was starting to take shape as I could see the direction I wanted to progress with this company.

After I finished my Associates Degree, my next step on the career ladder would have been Counselor. My plans were to return to school to the University of Colorado distance learning program since my company has a headquarters in Colorado, and they made a deal with the university to provide our employees with a degree program that was hard to beat. Then once I would have secured my Bachelor's Degree, I would have worked with my manager to get my teaching certificate. Then I would have become a teacher at the juvenile detention center. However, God must have other plans for me, because near my one year anniversary with my company, I sustained a herniated disc in my back which required me to submit my resignation to the company I loved so dearly. Needless to say, all my plans and dreams went up in smoke.

In the past two years, I have been looking for a full-time job while trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. It is truly sad that at 38 years of age, I have no clue what I want to do when I grow up. What I do know is that I want more from my life!

Now, I am not talking about materialistic objects. I do not need the big, fancy houses or cars, the expensive clothes and accessories, or anything like that. However, I must say that type of lifestyle would be nice. I would love to not owe another penny on medical bills, and I would love to be able to pay cash for my gasoline in my car instead of having to put it on my credit card, because I don't make enough money to pay for it with cash. Guess I should think twice about buying artwork...LOL! That was a treat for my family, because of the hell of year we have been through with my husband's cancer. After a while, you get tired of spending all your hard earned cash on bills, and you splurge and treat yourself to something nice. We have this one life, so we might as well live it!

Anyway, I will get off my soap box. After meeting Patrick Kinkade this weekend, it left me wanting more from my life. Sometimes, I feel like I am wasting so much precious time. I want to do things to help people. I have a book sitting on my computer about the struggles my family faced during my husband's battle with cancer, but I have no idea what to do with it. Should I try to publish it? How would I go about doing that? I have so many questions about my life, but I have no idea who to direct these questions to. I live in a small town where your family expects you to just get a job and work for the rest of your life once you graduate from high school if you choose to graduate from high school. That was never a requirement in my household growing up, but I have to say that I made it a requirement in my own life!

I am at a crossroads in my life, and I want a change! I want to live my life to the fullest, and I want to be able to help and bless people along the way! I want to be the person God wanted me to be when He sent me to this planet. I am tired of living a life of mediocrity, and I want more from my life!

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