Thursday, July 14, 2011

July 14, 2011


How many times in your life have you given up on something that meant the world to you in order to make other people happy? Maybe it was a dream job in another city, but someone in your family didn't want you to go, so you let it pass you by. Maybe it was attending the college or university of your dreams, but you let someone talk you out of this dream, and you settled for a menial job right out of high school. Have you ever given up on a relationship because your partner's family disliked you, so you felt he or she would be better off having a relationship with his or her family rather than you? There are so many times in our lives that we may give up on our dreams, because we feel that our decision is going to make another person happy. If  there is something out there you want or if there is something out there that you believe in with all your heart, then don't give up on it in order to try to make someone happy.

Let's face it; we are never going to make everyone we encounter happy. There will be people in our lives who we will never be able to make happy no matter how hard we try. Why is that? Because only that person can make himself or herself happy. However, they may derive pleasure from trying to control other people's lives. How about if you start to make yourself happy and not care so much what other people think. There are different scenarios where we have to listen to other people, such as if we are under the age of 18 and still living at home then we would have to listen to our parents. However, if you are a grown adult, and you are still allowing other people's opinions to control your life, then I think it's time for you to start getting a backbone and living your life the way you want to live it. Some people are control freaks, and they will try to control everyone that they associate with. Will you allow that in your own life?

For years, I have struggled with my in-laws judgmental attitudes toward me. If I have heard the following words, I have heard them a hundred times, "Liz, you need to change." Well, I totally disagree with them, because I refuse to conform to their way of living. My morals and values are opposite theirs, and that does not mean that I have to change. I read the following statement recently, "When people tell you that you need to change, it just means they want you to live your life their way." I have struggled with this obstacle in my life, and I have wondered if maybe my husband would have a better life with his family if I were not in his life. Many times, I have thought about leaving just to make his family happy. One realization remains, and that is my husband would not be happy if I left. So, either way, I am not going to make people happy. What is important is that I need to do what is going to make me happy, and that happiness stems from the inside of me.

In our lives, we will have thousands upon thousands of decisions to make throughout the years. So, instead of focusing on what is going to make outsiders happy, focus instead on what is going to make  you happy. Don't give up on your dreams just because someone in your life is jealous because they never had the opportunity to do what you might be on the verge of accomplishing. Don't give up on the love of your life just because a handful of people do not "approve" of you joining their family. Your main priority in life should be your own happiness, so don't give up on something you believe in just to make a few people happy.

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