Monday, July 25, 2011

July 25, 2011


The closer today got to evening the more angry and upset I became. My mind kept thinking about how quickly the last two days passed me by. As darkness approached, I was reminded of having to return to that new job early tomorrow morning. It's drudgery going to a job that you do not like. However, the way the economy is today, I should be thanking God that I was even able to find a job even if it is one that I do not like. Then this song by Miley Cyrus popped into my head as I was trying to grasp even an ounce of inspiration to write about something, because it is very hard to be inspiring when you are dreading tomorrow. Keep climbing, keep reaching for your dreams, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually you just might reach the top.

So many questions have been entering my head in the last few months, such as why did I waste $30,000 to go back to college for an Associates Degree that isn't helping me to gain a better job. Now, on top of school loans, I have credit card debt (which I must be grateful for my credit card because it kept my family fed and put gas in my car while my husband was off work while having his treatments and surgery), and thousands of dollars worth of medical bills to pay back. Had I known five years ago that my husband was going to become ill, I would have never gone back to college to earn a worthless degree that I cannot afford to pay back the loans. I look at my life now, and I compare it to how it was a short time ago. I know I should not compare it to a few years ago when my family was debt free other than the mortgage and the car payment, but I have to wonder what did we do wrong to deserve to be where we are today. Thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt, looking to work two to three jobs just to begin to dig our way out of this hole that we had no control over.

Sometimes, we are dealt a crappy hand of cards in life, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. However, our perspective on the situation is what makes it worse than what it has to be. We might have to sacrifice our time and work two and three jobs, and we might hate the jobs we have to do, but we can learn to make the most out of what we have been dealt. I can learn to be grateful for the jobs I now have, and I can learn to be the best at what I know I can do. It might take me several years to dig my family out of this hole, but it's my responsibility and nobody else's. I just have to keep climbing that mountain!

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