Wednesday, July 6, 2011

July 6, 2011


We have all probably heard these notorious words, or maybe we were the one to say them, "You really need to change" or "You have issues, and you should really go get some help!" Before you are so quick to condemn another human being, maybe you should take a step back and view a larger picture. Maybe, the other person does not need to change at all. Maybe, the person who needs to change is the person who looks back at you when you look in a mirror. 

However there may be times when someone tells you those words, that you are the one who needs to change. Instead of taking their words to heart look at the entire situation and look at how this individual treats others. Maybe you are not the one who needs to change at all, but the person who is saying these words could truly benefit from his or her own advice.

When facing a conflict with another person, recognize who truly needs to change. Maybe both of you need to change just a little bit in order to get along with each other. However, it doesn't matter how much changing we do as individuals, we cannot force others to change unless they want the change for themselves. Recently, while doing some research I found the following quotation, "Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."

This whole topic for today stemmed from a family member telling me that I would never change, that I had issues, and that I should get some help quickly. Well, at first I took this person's words very personally then I had to take a step back and view the entire scenario. This person is constantly fighting with other members of the family including her mother, and she is constantly telling everyone else how much we all need to change. Now, I will admit that I have changed, and I believe I have changed for the better. I am no longer the person I was at 18 years of age, 30 years of age, or even the person I was last year. We are constantly changing, learning, and evolving (which I know I have written about in older posts). However, the person who needs to change in my story, is the other family member who is constantly picking fights with everyone else and who is always telling the rest of us that we need to change.

It is easier to cast blame than it is for one to look at his or her own guilty conscience. Most people do not want to admit when they are wrong, so they will tell everyone else how wrong they are, and they will be the first ones to tell us that we are the ones who need to change. Sometimes, they are right, and we do need to change, but if you are living a good life, and you have no regrets; then it's pretty safe to say that you are not the one who needs the changing. Be careful when telling people that they need to change, because the person who really needs to change may be the person looking at you from the other side of that mirror. Like the late, great Michael Jackson once said in one of his hit songs, "If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change!"

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